Another Z in the Fourth Wall

Eddie’s fist connected with a satisfying crunch and Haley couldn’t keep from smiling. The zombie’s newly-detached lower jaw sailed through the air, flicking bits of rot as it spun, ricocheted off a bench and finally splattered flatly on the stylishly overpriced industrial carpet. She instinctively held her breath and closed her eyes, remembering that kid …

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A Quiet Ride

“I’d love to, babe, but my phone’s just about out of juice!” Vince pressed the red button on the cell and held it up for her to see. Sweat seeped from his palm as he gripped, afraid to drop his last bit of hope. The woman rapped her free knuckles against the window of the …

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The Way Home

Gwen barely could focus on the oncoming traffic as she headed for home. What a bitch of a day. All I want to do is rip off this bra and put on the give-up pjs. A tractor trailor passed her on the inside lane of the on-ramp and blinded her in a mess of slush …

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Good Morning

Let’s get the moral of the story up front, shall we? Never try to hypnotize a gypsy. Never host a bachelor party the night before the nuptials. Oh, and never invite your ex. Got that? Good. I heard the commotion as I walked down the hallway and gripped the bag of groceries even tighter. Barking. …

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Time to Write

I can’t find the time to write. You see, I’m too busy this month. All that chaos of shopping and family. How could I ever be expected to squirrel myself away to write? That’d be rude. The New Year is coming. I’m going to make daily writing a Resolution. Just like last year. Except this …

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The Writer

Doug leans back in his Lazyboy and stretches his arms over his head with laced fingers. Gracie seizes the opportunity and slinks on to his lap, circles twice (counter-clockwise) before curing up in a ball with a satisfied sigh. The story isn’t finished yet. It probably won’t be. Damnable November. “Screw this. No tale is …

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Once Upon a Crayon

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful kingdom. It shone as a bright jewel among all the other kingdoms. Or at least it did— until a terrible darkness fell upon it. You see, the King’s court sorcerer messaged in sick that day. Actually, he’d been mucking with some new romantic potions again. The instructions …

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The Good and the Bad

I relish the fine minutia of perfection—a blemish free polish on brass knuckles, a blade honed without sign of pit or burr, the sweet odour of ether on the finest Egyptian cotton—they’re the details that matter. If only I didn’t crave the chaos and blood, that last gasp and rattle and, most importantly, that final …

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A Gruff Patch

Bruno Gruff scratched his flea-bitten crotch and stared out the window. His brothers, Barney and Buford, bickered over the last patch of swamp grass. He sniffed his hoof and winced before heading out the door. “Hey, idjits!” he said and threw a rock in their general direction. It bounced off Buford’s head. “Ouch,” said the …

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Mary Had a Disgruntled Lamb

Mary had a disgruntled little lamb, Whose fleece was greasy and matted And everywhere that Mary went, It rudely belched and farted. It followed her to the liquor store, a raincloud hung over its head. Then found the cheapest lemon gin That would keep their sick livers fed. Now, Mary didn’t have any money, But …

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