High Seas Laundry

Captain Hook, he climbed the deck,
Lookin’ for Smee, to give him heck.

His eyes, they blazed, all full of fire.
The poor old sot, his fate was dire.

“Listen here, you scallywag!”
“Bare the masts and fly the flag!”

“But, Cap’n”, says he “What is the matter?”
“That’s got you here a-flitter-flatter?”

“You, First Mate, will walk the plank”
“I hope you enjoyed your little prank”

“I see you’re here, without your britches”
“Does something need its mends and stitches?”

“You know well, what makes me irate.”
“You louse and sloth of a scurvy pir-ate”

“Where is thy shirt and cap?” he meekly said.
“Has Neptune stolen your woolly coat of red?”

“Smee, O Smee! I’m in such a quandary.”
“Since I asked of thee to do the laundry.”

“Indeed I did, fine Captain Sir.”
“In a hot tub with lye, did I stir.”

“That’s the trouble you miserable fink”
“Both coat and shirt are a rose-petal pink!”

“O dear! O dear! This is a dilly!”
“You can’t wear that, lest ye be a Filly”