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“Hello. Wish Fulfillment Department, a division of Hopes and Dreams Incorporated. Welcome to our Customer Care Centre. Please listen carefully to the following options so that we may best direct your call.”

“If you wish to make a wish, press 1, and you will be transferred to ‘Genies and Leprechauns’. If you wish to cancel a wish, press 2, and you will be directed to ‘Devil’s Bargains’. If you wish to wish for more wishes, you may hang up now.”

“You have selected ‘Devil’s Bargains’. Please stay on the line and your call will be answered by the next available representative.”

“Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. Did you know that you can monitor your Wish Fulfillment in real time using our new web portal? There is also an app for Wish Fulfillment available in the App Store.”

“Thank you for holding. All our representatives are busy at the moment helping other Wishers. Your call will be answered in sequence.”

“Hello, this is Nate. What is your name and age, please?”

“Timmy. I’m 8.”

“Well, Timmy. What can we do for you today?”

“I want my sister back. I made her disappear. She’s gone, and mom will be home soon. I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“Oh I see. I’m looking up your file now. This was a Square Nickel wish. The cancellation policy for a wish like this is clear. You have to trade an object or creature of equal or greater value to get your sister back. Do you have anything you wish to trade, Timmy?”

“I don’t know. I just want her back. I’m scared.”

“Don’t worry, Timmy. I’m just looking through your Life Manifest. You’re pretty young, so there isn’t too much to choose. Let’s see. We have your new bike, your tabby cat or your mom. You can choose to trade any of these things for your sister. You also have the ‘Self-Sacrifice’ option, but I really don’t recommend it.”

“My kitty scratches me, but she’s my best friend. I love my bike. You can’t take away my bike!”

“So you’ve chosen then, Timmy? Your sister or your mom?”

“I want my sissy back.”

“Thank you for calling Wish Fulfillment, a division of Hopes and Dreams Incorporated. Have a nice day.”