Before Dinner
‘Tonight will be perfect’, she thought, snipping an errant shoot and placing the bonsai tree on the table’s centre. I will be perfect.
Recent Posts
The Long Moment
Lucy trembled as Ricky’s fingers moved down the small of her back–not quite touching, but her skin reacting in electric anticipation. She kissed him deeply.
The Joker
“Two guys walk into a bar; the third one ducks.”
For the Love of a Dragon
“Should anyone here present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
The Gators of Mars
So, who the fiddler’s flying fig decided Mars needed alligators?
Another Z in the Fourth Wall
Eddie’s fist connected with a satisfying crunch and Haley couldn’t keep from smiling. The zombie’s newly-detached lower jaw sailed through the air, flicking ...
A Quiet Ride
“I’d love to, babe, but my phone’s just about out of juice!”
The Way Home
Gwen barely could focus on the oncoming traffic as she headed for home. What a bitch of a day. All I want to do is rip off this bra and put on the give-up pj...
Good Morning
Let’s get the moral of the story up front, shall we? Never try to hypnotize a gypsy. Never host a bachelor party the night before the nuptials. Oh, and never...
Time to Write
I can’t find the time to write.
The Writer
Doug leans back in his Lazyboy and stretches his arms over his head with laced fingers. Gracie seizes the opportunity and slinks on to his lap, circles twice...
The Good and the Bad
I relish the fine minutia of perfection–a blemish free polish on brass knuckles, a blade honed without sign of pit or burr, the sweet odour of ether on the f...
Mary Had a Disgruntled Lamb
Mary had a disgruntled little lamb, Whose fleece was greasy and matted And everywhere that Mary went, It rudely belched and farted.
A Gruff Patch
Bruno Gruff scratched his flea-bitten crotch and stared out the window. His brothers, Barney and Buford, bickered over the last patch of swamp grass. He snif...
Fear
I hear them, wriggling and squirming, first to my left, then my right, and then it filled my whole world with noise. The click-click-clicking of their little...
How to Get Ahead
Water dripped from high above. Perseus gripped the hilt tightly and bounced lightly on the balls of his feet. He hated waiting. A growl. Finally. The sword w...
Kitchen Tools
“But what if I hold it like this?” asked Eunice.
Into the Void
Date: September 27, 1491 SCE (Second Current Era)
It’s All About the Cornbread
Ya see, us here wolves got a bad rap. We ain’t so bad. I tell ya, most of us would rather drop in to Joe’s Diner than trounce through the Woods looking for s...
Some Words About My Uncle Mort
The thing I’ll always remember about Uncle Mort, is his penchant for holding a conversation with anyone about anything. It didn’t matter your economic statio...
Benny
Benny walked into my cubicle and his smile vanished. However, my own grin widened. This gag would play out perfectly. My papers were all laid out and askew t...
Hopewell Rocks
My bride and I have been together a long time. We know each other well, but it’s always fun to learn something new about the other.
Barbecue No More
Steak was supposed to be on sale.
Mitzy and the Butterfly
And as quickly begun, it was finished. White magic. My little sister. Gone.
Eye Spy
“Something green.”
Love Potion Number 11
The world stuttered in a queer slant as I sat up. I stared at my hand. Love Potion Number 11. I thought it was a joke. Damn you, Ricki. She stood beside me– ...
Guilt
“I know what you did,” said the voice and hung up.
Haley’s Tree
A dense bluff of silver maples grew behind our house. I’d scamper as quietly as I could in the early evenings that last summer before Dad died. He’d come hom...
Beating the Heat
I took the cool can and placed it on my chest, letting the condensation drip between my breasts. It felt good and I closed my eyes for moment. I sat up strai...
The Gymnast
The gymnast contorted backwards in artful retroflection, her ribbon efficient in its sparely motion, the structured rules of physics seemingly vandalized in ...
At Night
I lay awake on the top bunk, listening to my brother’s rhythmic-breathing below me, desperately wishing sleep to overtake me. I wonder if the wormy sparks an...
From the Window
Elvis has left the building.
Buckethead
Hop on the exam table, Mister Smith, and let’s take a look at the carnage, shall we? Yes, you can leave your shoes on. My word! That’s quite the jolt to the ...
Eddie Zovinovich
No one could pronounce my last name growing up. Eddie Zovinovich. How fucking hard is that? Back in the eighth grade, Pete Tomilson and his croonies ruled th...
Pink Tint
So much blood.
Sea Shanties, Nautical Verse and Maritime Ballads
I live in Nova Scotia and have most of my life. It’s a smallish province, nearly surrounded by the Atlantic. At any given point, wherever we are in the provi...
Haley Dreams
My dreams always started the same way. I was running, running from a horde. We were in the hospital here in New York. I’d keep yelling for Eddie and he would...
Of Blood and Text Messaging
Detective Arnie Chalmers dropped his finished cigarette to the asphalt, ground it with his heel, and waited for his partner to catch up. “Ready, Steve?”
The Interview
Janine let her hair flop forward on the left, decided against it, and threw her hair up in a clip. It was a well earned scar. No one would care– should care–...
Lessons
So, I’ve been reading my NaNoWriMo novel today and had a brainwave.
Observation
I watch as she sits on the park bench, tucking a wisp of hair behind her ear, and quietly sips her coffee. She never sees me and I jot down the precise time ...
Too Far from Home
Melanie closed one eye and focused on the board. After the last pitcher, her vision wasn’t much to be trusted. Come on’, Mel. Three darts and we finish this....
First Fledging
I’ll never forget the first time I sat behind the yoke of dad’s old hovercar by myself, newly minted holo-license carefully filed in my e-wallet. I was all s...
Spider Man
“Oh, thank you, Spiderman!” I said as I wrapped my arms around my masked rescuer as we swung from building to building, moving ever closer to the ground.
Captain Underpants
She asked me two times What did you say your name was? Captain Underpants
Bat Geriatrics
“Alfred! Get me my cowl.”
At the Mall
So, yeah, it all started when Mikey dared me to put my tongue on the cold post outside the mall entrance. There I stood, in my Wolverine costume on Halloween...
Tanked!
Bob cruises with stealth Guppies and mollies beware Ninja-fish, vanish!
Mouse Caper
The way I figure it, Tiny, is that if we take that piece of bacon you pinched from the giant’s plate and toss drag it over to the fuzzy floor, the dog will s...
Judgement Dogs
“Pansy, did you see what that meathead did?”
Bad Bedtime Bacon
Waking up thirsty, I stumbled to the kitchen and flicked on the light. My son Benny’s stupid frog sat on the counter wearing a tophat and tails. I cocked my ...
Genre Bending
— title: Genre Bending header: teaser: /assets/images/letters-390186_640.jpg categories: WriteTips I don’t have a favourite genre.
I Shovel Dirt
I shovel dirt into the hole and my face breaks into a sweat despite the cool night air. My hands ache and I wonder how I’ll cover up the blisters in the morn...
F7U12, Winter!
winter sucks snow and ice and slush will not end
Cut and Run
Amy hung sloppily off the arm of Scott. To everyone at the party, it appeared that she couldn’t hold her liquor as well as she’d thought. Billie, of course, ...
Compassion
Eunice set the picture of their Caribbean vacation on the side table as quietly as she could, trying not to wake him. She brought her fingers to her lips, ki...
Snowflake Method?
I love writing scenes and flash pieces from writing prompts. In fact, I’ve written hundreds of them. Pantsing out 750 words at a time is downright exhilarati...
Waiting
Janine’s leg bounced and jittered as if it had a mind of its own. If only I could tap this as an energy source, she thought, hoping for distraction. She pres...
Frannie Takes the Train
The rattle and rumble of the train on its tracks persisted in their pursuit of my sleep. I fought the fatigue despite being awake for the last thirty hours. ...
Twenty-Three Years In
It’s late at night and we lie in bed Lost in thought, alone in mind The heat of passion cooling soft Drifting darkly, we are blind
Sunset Heat
I put the rest of the tools in the trunk and wheeled it over to the tie-downs. The sweat poured off my head despite the cooling salt air. It was a hot day an...
Blind Dining
“Eyes up, soldier,” she said and I did. The corner of her mouth was turned up in a smirk, eyes sparkling.
Learning from Binge Watching TV
So, I have to admit something.
Cruising
Late at night she walks the scene alone Enticing predatory eyes Trying too hard to attract Streetwalker in war paint Short skirt, long jacket Too much l...
The Dark Pool of Lamia
Lamina wrapped the mottled scarf around her light frame, enjoying the silky sensation as the soft cool hide hugged her contours. She didn’t have need of mirr...
An Ending.
Without a single glimpse back, David quietly closed the door and walked down the sidewalk and out of her life.
Respawn
Respawn.
Winter in a Nutshell
You don’t have to shovel rain. I don’t ski.
Snowfall
arms wide and eyes closed she raises her face skyward frosty flakes delight
Down the Hill
“You wax the flyer? It’s all shiny.”
Blankets
“But we have to keep warm,” Jake pleaded as he dropped a pile of blankets on the couch.
A Beginning…
Amy wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth and flushed the toilet quickly before her mother asked questions.
The Sentinel
My name is Gracie and I am the Sentinel. I sit on the back of the Alpha’s throne and keep watch. His territory is vast and I must be vigilant. The rear court...
A Return to Longhand?
I spend a lot of time reflecting on my process: what works, what doesn’t. That kind of thing. Such naval-gazing is a wonderful alternative to actual writing....
What Am I?
We’re twins, you and I. We are so much alike. We have both our positives and negatives. My yin to your yang, so to speak. Alone, we are powerless, but togeth...
One Last Letter
Ricky checked his mailbox everyday at just before noon, rain or shine. He’d done this for as long as he could remember. Clip the leash on Duke, Number Four i...
Resolve
“Happy New Year!” yelled Bernie to the drunken debauchery that his buddy Vince’s party had become. Amy sang Auld Lang Syne in the same style Marilyn Monroe s...
How Do You Create Your Characters?
Over the holidays, I was asked about the many characters in my stories and how I come up with them. I wasn’t able to provide a very good answer because I ten...
Barbecue
Okay, Nicholas. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? When did you begin to have these dark thoughts?
Whoops
Special ornament If only I had duct tape She would never know
Ron's Gift
The wrapped object under the tree was addressed to me, long and slender with a lumpy soft bit of business on the top. My brother-in-law looked on as I unwrap...
Gramp’s Grace
I’m not a religious man, but sitting at head of the table where my grandfather would have normally sit, I looked around to my rarely-assembled family, all ea...
Backroom Elves
“Blinky, put that wrench down and get over here. I need a hand.”
How Not to Be a Jerk Online
It goes without saying that being active on the Internet requires a thick skin. With social media tools like Facebook, we now all create content whether we r...
Newly Freed
thin glaze on puddles little girls giggle and stomp ice crunches under foot
The Last Voyage of the Nancy
Young Mary laced my bodice tight and helped me into my skirts. Dinner with the Captain required me to look my best. We’d been at sea for several months, and ...
The Bonded
Not every Fayre could be trusted. I learned that lesson early on. But for every million of the flittering little freaks that infested the planet, there was o...
Christmas Then and Now
Christmases were stressful growing up, especially during my teen years. Money was tight and my folks weren’t getting along. It wasn’t until I was well into m...
Lemony Rain
I constructed my lair from the choicest rock candy, not dollar store seconds. The emerald green ribbon glowed deep within the rot of my heart. Shielded from ...
How Do You Respond to a Writing Challenge?
It’s easy to burn yourself out creatively when meeting writing deadlines or undertaking insanity projects like NaNoWriMo. Sometimes, it’s just mood and the c...
Full Circle
“A strange thing happened on the way to the bus stop,” I said, taking a plate from the rack and wiping it. Well-worn, these wedding gift dishes stood the tes...
Foodbanks in a Nutshell
Hunger and food insecurity in the western world is not a new problem.
The Last Ride
Racing down the mountain side A winding highway in the rain More flight than pleasure ride Surely I was insane
Riding the 80
The bus hit a bump and my head snapped back, cracking against the glass window. I’d drooled on my coat. Wiping it off with my sleeve, I looked around the bus...
Pull Over
“What seems to be the problem, Officer?”
Karma Ran Over My Dogma
We raced past an ambulance on the way to the airport, careening through traffic to make our flight. In a funny twist of fate, we rode the same ambulance back...
Naughty Claus
There once was a man named Naughty Claus Who shopped online with nary a pause Black Friday’s deals were always best For fishnets, toys and all the rest S...
Haley in the Tank
I sat on the steel cot and stared at the three other people in with me: the chick and two dudes. She was throwing up. One of the guys laid passed out on the ...
Haley on the Road
We had to pull over on the side of the road when the jeep started to overheat. I got out and stretched. Even though it was early November, it was unseasonabl...
Black Ice Heart
Her icy stare made me shiver Even if she made me quiver
Tough It Out
The water stung the cuts and scrapes along my arms. I inspected each one. Were they bites or scratches? No, just the rough and tumble bumps and bruises of a ...
Haley on a Plane
I grabbed the first aid kit off the cabin wall and a jug of water. Eunice lay unconscious on the floor of the cabin. It was spacious. More cargo space than s...
Reunion
Haley saw Ben across the parking lot and ran as fast as she could, tears streaking down her face. He picked her up in the massive bear-hug, so familiar from ...
Is this the End, Haley?
Jimmy drove too fast for my liking, but under the circumstances, I didn’t argue even if we didn’t use headlights. Ben was in the front with him acting as nav...
Haley Into Darkness
We huddled in the dark closet for what seemed like forever, our hearts pounding in our chests. The blood washed in my head, a tidal ebb and flow with each be...
Father Time Versus the Time Demons
“Wake up, you idiot.”
Unwanted
H eaven didn’t want the maiming boy A mbling away from the Pearly Gates U nderneath the Earth, another was watching N etherworld needing another soul T o hu...
Scare Tactics
“Why don’t you try poking out your eyes?”
Cellar
My hands shook in the cold rain as I fumbled with the shovel handle as another flash of lightning illuminated the back deck’s leaf litter blanket. I gingerly...
A Close Call
It was a dark and stormy night, my wife and daughter were driving to a Fire Hall outside Chester for a family gathering. The rain pounded the roads and the c...
Trick or Treat
Moldy sugar and weevily flour, Some rancid butter at the Witching Hour. Wriggly worms, spiders and flies, Spooky cookies, a treater’s surprise.
Iced Up
Jamie slammed his hand against the dash of the car and the heater fan rattled to life. The sun glared through the crystallized windshield as he waited for th...
Writing Motivation
I don’t want to write this post. I don’t feel like it. Actually, I don’t feel like writing a cotton-pickin’ thing. Surely, there is something on TV? Nope. Da...
Aguta's Trek
Nanuk the Bear stood on his hind legs and sniffed the icy air. Dog. He looked across the snowy plain and saw the sled make its approach. The team of malamute...
Tommy and Jamie
I hate waiting at the bus stop. It’s cold out and I forgot my mitts. Jamie went back to get ‘em. Tommy keeps pulling my hair on the bus. It’s around the corn...
No Need to See
warm oil on your back my hands exploring your curves teasing fingertips
First Change
Raised by the pack, we didn’t know about the Change util it happened to my friend Brown Ear. Running in the woods, four-feet, paws and fur was all we pups ha...
Alien Haiku
Driving late at night Bright green lights whirling above Almond eyes greet me
Strength
“You can do this,” he said with an intensity that made me smile. I marvelled at the heft of the weapon, feeling its steely coolness, knowing a simple purpose...
Last Glimpse
I found the perfect spot, for us to share a final gaze Of cosmic wonder, before the end of days
5 Things I Learned During the 3 Day Novel Contest
My friend Anisa hinted, prodded, poked, goaded and shamed me into entering the 3 Day Novel Contest back on Labour Day weekend. It was her second time and I s...
Playing with Fire
My thumb flicked the striker of the lighter and the spark gave birth to yet another flame. I studied its flicker and playful dance, the power in my hand call...
The Perfect Trick
All eyes were either on Scott’s hands or Amy’s outfit. That was part of the hook. He’d fumble through the basic show tricks ably enough despite only picking ...
Villain
Vanquishing the mighty hero Inciting mayhem and chaos Legions of henchmen Lair of deceit Aggressor Intrigue rules with an iron fist No mercy says the w...
Fortification
David’s hand trembled as he poured the Ballantines over the ice. He drank it in a single pull and refilled his glass, wincing at the burning fortification. D...
The Plain Text Rebellion
Let me tell you a story.
Lost in the Rain
rain in late summer the boy walks along the street following a boat
Fear of Failure or Rejection?
What keeps you from writing the story that’s been tumbling in your head forever? What keeps you from posting here? What keeps you from pressing that dreaded ...
A Very Brief Update
Here it is, late August 2014, and it’s a busy time as always. I work at a community college. Faculty came back this week and students return the next. When I...
The Nighthawk
I stare at my winged reflection as I glide silently along the still glass of the moonlit lake, listening for the rattling hum and flutter of beetles in f...
Haley Burning
I knew I was playing with fire, but since when had that stopped me? I couldn’t turn it off even if I wanted to.
On Heroes and Villains
When I was in Grade Ten, I performed in a one act play. I can’t, for the life of me, remember what it was called. Checks Google. It was called ‘He Done Her W...
Finding Inspiration in Nature
Creating art is a curious and beautiful synthesis of observation and imagination. Too often, we focus on what what happens within our brain-case. The common ...
Eddie's Decision
No one fucks with Eddie. I grab the green duffel bag and stuff the small assortment of my belongings into it: a pair of jeans, a couple t-shirts and shit lik...
Nightfall in the Glade
Legato and Mezzo flew as if their wings were aflame, knocking baskets of gathered berries to the forest floor far below. The twins corkscrewed their way up a...
Too Hot
Billie winced as she tiptoed across the sun-baked deck with two cold wobbly-pops in hand. “You look smokin’ hot, sweetheart,” I said, taking the beers with o...
Scott Woos Amy
“I would give you the moon, babe.”
Moby on the Beach
I closed my book and tossed it aside. It landed in the sand with a thump. No matter how many times I try, I just can’t get past the first fifty pages of ‘Mob...
Clouds
Jack and Jill lay on the hill, Dreaming of clouds and shapes. Jack saw rats and cute kitty cats, But Jill’s dragon helped them escape.
Life Lessons
We make such a fuss out of things, small and unimportant. Money, things and status hold such fleeting satisfaction. In the wink of an eye, all these can be l...
Alpha Dreams
Dawn’s dim light glows in the porch windows. I sidle up to my girl and nuzzle her neck. She wakes and looks at me, her whiskers twitching. She smells it too....
Plot, Premise and Story
We’ve all been there: staring at the screen or notebook wondering how to write the middle of your story. You’ve built a wonderful world and crafted some deep...
The Hike
My life will never be the same. I spent the day climbing the rocky hillside. I needed to reach the summit and the cliff-side. I passed many other outcropping...
Dog Days
My life will never be the same. All it took was one moment of lazy exasperation. Supper steamed on the table, taunting me with its awesomeness. I was hungry....
Alone on Tazin Lake
The Cessna’s wings clipped the tops off several jack pine as it thundered through the brush on its way down. When it finally slammed to a stop, Gus unbuckled...
In the Eye of the Sandstorm
A gust of wind stirred up the dust of the deserted street. It stung the stranger’s face as he led his burro into town. He brought his free arm across his fac...
10 Ways to Make Your Blog Posts Better
Part of the whole writing gig is, well, writing. It’s pretty much a given that authors build a platform to market and promote their word-babies to the masses...
Strange Love
There once was a lady, hailing from the circus Whose beard was so long, she would curse it But there was something about her I was smitten, her lover I’d...
Knife Master
I probably shouldn’t have been drinking last night. I smile at my lovely assistant as I heft and feel the weight of my knives. Perfectly balanced, but was I?...
Clown Car
Cuddles, you go first. No, you go first, Stinky That’s Twinky. Not when you had beans for lunch. I was hungry And this is a little car The crowd want a...
Bigtop Bulge
So, you see, I’m really quite worried about your health. Have you been feeling fine? Oh, healthy as a horse, you say? (I guess you shouldn’t have eaten one.)...
Milk
Eunice sniffed the milk carton left on the counter and wrinkled her nose, swallowing hard against her rising gorge.
Riding the Train
Riding the hover train this time of night always made me sleepy. The route passed through seedier parts of the city, so I took to people-watching to stay ale...
What's a Dwaithelord?
Dwaithelord – an honorific for the tribal leader of a coven of dwarven wraith soul stealers. Traditionally male, Dwaithelords are honor-bound to defend their...
A Quick Tour of Social Media for Writers
Part of the writing game is marketing (talking about your work) and publicity (getting others to talk about your work). And that generally means using social...
Shardik
Shardik woke to the high-pitched laughter of the woman and growled quietly to himself. He took to sleeping in the heat of the summer afternoons more often as...
Jake
Jake hobbled in to the kitchen and half-sat on his haunches. The old dog’s hips didn’t quite have the elasticity for a proper sit. He more or less squatted a...
Piscans Interruptus
Captain Nestor breathed a sigh of relief as his yacht left the hanger bay of the Vindictus. Finally, some alone time. It’d been too long since he’d taken hol...
May Reflections — Part Three
So here we are at the end of another month– a busy one at that. I turned 42 and supposedly have the answer. I’m here to tell you that the question still elud...
Torture
Reflected in the steel above, I watch the red line widen as he traces the scalpel from my navel to between my breasts. I tense as the sting turns from bliste...
Smoke
Peter wanted a smoke. It wasn’t so much a physical need as an emotional imperative. After all, he was three years old. Fucking gypsies.
The Toy
pretty little thing, won’t you spin and dance and sing? mend your broken spring.
Romance Versus Erotica
Oh, this is going to be fun! A couple of months ago I wrote ‘The (Not So) Definitive Guide to Romance Novels’ for Reader’s Carnival . It got me to thinking (...
Wendell's Solution
‘How the Hell did he get up there?’ thought Tony as he looked up the rampart wall of the prison’s exercise yard. Wendell held what could only be a shiv to th...
Caught
I waited impatiently for my computer to shut down. It’d been a long day of meetings and Brenda called several times.
Sierra Enigma
It’s never been easy working in the same place where Mom died. The university’s sprawling campus occupied most of the peninsula, and the hospital sat at its ...
The Last Days of the Marcy Bell
Officially, the Marcy Bell was a salvage rig, licensed for Canadian and international waters but not American. Since 9/11, it was only through a sea of red t...
May Reflections — Part Two
In Part One of my May Reflection series, I played philosopher around positivity, intention and the Golden Rule. Really, paying yourself by ‘paying-it-forward...
Good Boy, Jake
Rod in hand, I went to the lake, To fish for trout with my dog Jake. I cast my line, it went plop-plop. We waited for nature’s wat’ry crop.
Does TV Rot the Writer's Brain?
Hello, fellow quill-bearers! For your mind-bending pleasure, here is another open-ended dilly of a question:
Justin Takes Control
Agent Justin Cayse left the bordello from the rear, having escaped his captor. Ava Longleggs, always the most generous of hosts, enjoyed Mister Cayse’s visit...
May Reflections — Part One
I attended the annual PD Summit in downtown Halifax this week with a slew of IT, business and marketing peeps. It’s always great to connect and reconnect wit...
For Love of the Short Story
Grok walked into the cave, tired and hungry. Today’s hunt bore little bounty and dusk quickly advanced into night. A solitary rabbit for his tribe would keep...
Dead Inside
Eunice sat on the edge of her daughter’s bed and stared out the window, the rustling of leaves muted by glass. Spotting a flash of motion to her left, she sn...
Writing Rituals
Last week, I posed the following to my fellow writers:
How I Rebooted My Love of Writing
Way back in January of 2013, I made a promise to myself to pick up my quill and start writing creatively again.
Random
“Goddam it,” Rita O’Neill said as she let the curtains slide back into place. She stomped out of the kitchen and met Rodney in the driveway, her nails biting...
Writing Software and Tools
Writers, like many artisans, love to talk about the tools and techniques of their trade. Honing and tweaking their systems becomes a near-obsession in itself.
Scrambled
“I hate to bother you, but I have something important to ask,” said the new waitress, setting down my plate of scrambled eggs.
Book to Big Screen: Divergent
I’ve always been a fan of dystopian fiction. I remember one of my first experiences was with John Wyndham’s ‘The Chyrsalids’. From that point on, I was hooke...
How Do You Choose Your Characters Names?
Here’s a wide open topic:
Xanarax
There once was an alien named Xanarax Who wanted to play the tenor sax But the human didn’t care She wouldn’t even share. So he ate her brain and saved t...
Human Oddity
I smelled the human long before I laid my seventeen eyes on him. All that fur and sweat! I greeted him as best as my translator-matrix would allow, but I thi...
Billy Doesn't Fit In
Billy hated being an alien. His green skin didn’t match anything the other kids wore at school. His mother always had to cut holes in his trousers to accommo...
Alien Haiku
spinning flying orb your lasers burned my house down take me up with you
Western Standoff
Billy: Ya rascally varmit, git back here! Davey: Who’s gonna make me? Tommy: That’d be me. Billy: With what, yer lady’s ladel? Tommy: Better than yer rol...
The Bogeyman
Daddy says it’s time to sleep, To go to bed with naught a peep. The clock winds down, the hour late. I know I have to face my fate.
Poor Kid
The Sheriff hauled Jimmy to the gallows to become acquainted with the hangman’s knot. You see, he tried to clean the table with a counterfeit full-house. Dru...
Late at Night
I opened my eyes and could not see. Nothing but black in front of me. I lay supine upon this bed, Thinking I’d be better dead.
Jolene
Me and Little Tim race our horses hard trying to catch up to the train. I saw him tumble from his mount. If the bullet didn’t kill him, surely the trampling ...
Georgie Groundhog
“Oh dear, oh dear! I’m late, so terribly late,” muttered Georgie Groundhog to himself as he dressed for the storm outside.
Festus
You see, Sheriff. I was taking a shower at the Deadman’s Falls after Festus pushed me in the dirt. Sure, there was a bout of fisticuffs, but nothing too craz...
Cowboy Games
The Cedarwood Home for the Elderly stood at the end of a dead-end street in a rotting borough of a dying town, an apt image not lost on the staff and residen...
Cactus
Prickly pointy spikes Drawing blood with slightest brush Struggling to survive
A Horse
I should like to be a horse, So long as it’s a paint, of course. Flying riderless across the plain, Wind tickling my flowing mane.
Perfect Party
Doug is dressed in his party best, In a feathered hat and a sequined vest. With an icy beer in each hand, He’d rock it out, with the band.
Maggie's Secret
“So, I know something you don’t know.”
Bump in the Night
Matted-hair and rotted teeth, what evil danger lurks beneath? Pointed talons and razor claw, drags you into a gaping maw. He hides in closets and under b...
Ballroom Dreams
I entered the ballroom and searched for her in a sea of gowns and tuxedo. I had to find her, to touch her. All these masks! The ladies looked like angels flo...
How Important is Plot Anyway?
Let’s start with a serviceable definition of plot:
High Seas Laundry
Captain Hook, he climbed the deck, Lookin’ for Smee, to give him heck.
All About Using Images
So, you’ve lovingly tapped out ‘The End’ at the bottom of your masterpiece. Huffing a breath of relief that you’ve done it: your word baby is born and you wa...
Panic
“Hold the elevator, please,” said Trudy. I stuck my arm in the closing doors and they bounced open, to much irritation judging by the disgruntled huff behind...
Fletcher Returns
Carol Bannister placed the breakfast tray in front of her Aunt Jessica and stood staring out the window at the autumn leaves swirling about the grounds.
Words to Kill
Part of the self-editing process (you do self-edit, right?) is to clean-up passive voice, needless adverbs and filler words. This is typically done in a pass...
Marching On
So, what has been going on since I posted here back in January? Good question. Let’s see:
The Men That Don't Fit In
Some of the best memories of my grandfather are of Robert W. Service. Gramp would, at every opportunity, recite from memory any number of poems. We’d goad hi...
The Hand
My hand’s all numbers so what the heck? I drew a card from atop the deck, My palms were wet and my cheeks a-fire A chip and a chair with stakes ne’er high...
Reading at the Speed of Light
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” — Dr. Seuss
Moon and Badge
“What seems to be the problem, Officer?” I ask.
March Madness
Three great days in March Fourteen, Sixteen, Seventeen Pi, John and Patrick
Lucky Me
I woke up dreaming of gold, which was weird, because I normally crave coffee. I swing my legs to the side of the bed and was shocked to fall flat on the floo...
Hold the Phone
“Is this Douglas Langille?”
From Book to Screen: Bitten
When announced that Kelley Armstrong’s first book, ‘Bitten’, was headed for the small screen, fans were pretty darned stoked.
Burnout
Eric thought his day would never end. Mr. Farnsworth kept him late working on that miserable laundromat account. How, in God’s Green Garden, did anyone expec...
Woden's Daughter
The Allfather’s daughter, shame of Asgard, fled the Great Hall and made her way through the wood to the cliff-side. There, she gathered her furs about her sh...
3014
We’re not made for this damp shit and neither is our tech, thought Gil. What is it, 325 Kelvin? He took his smart-helmet off and leaned forward with his hand...
The Picnic
If you go down in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise. If you go down in the woods today, you’d better go in disguise.
Lies
Hugh pressed the ‘check mail’ button again and the little closed envelop popped up, taunting him with its secrets. ‘Everything you know is a lie,’ read the s...
Doug and Tim on Slaying the Writers Block Dragon
Your brave knight has journeyed over mountains, fought hordes of orcs and resisted the wiles of a sea-witch. He’s arrived at last to the mouth of a darkened ...
Unreal World
School wasn’t working for me. Three years in and I crashed and burned, my high school ambitions laid to waste. Despite my so-called potential, I wasn’t cut o...
Planning
Everything was going according to plan. Everyone had their roles to play. Amy was dealing and Scott was running the table, losing just enough to keep the eye...
Second Chances
Archie winced and swallowed. The beer tasted watery and flat. Ever since Pop died, this place wasn’t the same. Jug tried hard, but he didn’t have the mind fo...
(Not So) Definitive Guide to Romance Novels
So, when I opted to write this article on romance novels, my first thought was that I had to ask for help. When I did so, I was swiftly told to hand in my ‘M...
How to Read for Enjoyment
The pursuit of happiness is not a fool’s errand, but what makes people happy? Consider the moment when you’re completely lost in the plot of a good book, on ...
Snow Day
Ellen loved her brother, of that there was no doubt. He worked hard to provide for his kids despite the long hours threatening to destroy his marriage to Kat...
Haley Meets Jimmy
I should have trusted my instincts. The girl, calling herself Haley, possessed a wild look about her. Despite the frame of a teenage girl, Haley put out the ...
A Promise Kept
“Damn,” Marnie said as she pulled over onto the icy soft-shoulder and got out, leaving the car running but the door ajar. The beep-beeping cut through me lik...
Talk Is Cheap But Rum Costs Money
Today is the last day of my vacation. I am very fortunate to work for an organization that allows for a goodsome break. Tomorrow, I’ll be back to toiling in ...
Genres in a Nutshell
Walk in to any bookstore or library and we are confronted by the ‘Genre Beast’. There are many ways to categorize books and genre is but one. Bookstores are ...
Essential Jack Whyte
Do you love historical adventure sagas that span the centuries? Can the Arthur legends be true? What’s the real story behind the Knights Templar? Is there mo...
Write It Down or Annie Wilkes Will Break Your Legs
Why write? Good question. I have no idea. Perhaps, the answer for me is also a line of inquiry. Why not? Why not just pack it in and give up on any dreams of...
Jonas
Jonas leaped over the barricade and wormed his way through an opening in the quarantine fence without being noticed, his stolen prize held tightly in his jaw...
Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice
So, it’s been two months since my last post. Christmas is just around the corner and soon we’ll be saying ‘Chuck U. Farley’ to 2013.
Haley's Homecoming
I hitched my knapsack up over one shoulder and got off the bus. The bright summer sun and dusty air assaulted my senses after the long ride. I’d gotten used ...
Thanksgiving
“Good man, where might I find your nearest mooring dock?”
Pickles
Sour pickles that make me pucker, I like to torture some poor sucker. Tell them sweet! It’s just one gherkin. It’s fun to trick, but mind your smirkin’!
Christmas Eve
I’m not a religious man; spiritual, yes, but religious, no. However, it is a long standing tradition to accompany my mother to Midnight Mass every Christmas ...
Black Friday
I tried, I tried, with all my might, To get the toy, I’d have to fight. Through shopping hoards, it was in my sight. I clambered over, jumped and took fli...
Patching Annie
Walking by my daughter’s room with an armload of laundry, I pause to listen at the door. It’s always closed these days with Becky’s preteen need for privacy ...
Manhunt
Leaves crunched noisily under foot despite their practiced woodsman experience. Autumn air froze everything brittle. Rifles slung, hunters like these knew ca...
The Apprentice
She wakes up groggy, and I watch from behind her eyes as she senses my invasion. I drink from her panic, revelling in its energy, so vibrant and alive.
Hallow's Morn
Jackie pulled the collar of her housecoat tight around her neck and opened the door to let her cat inside after his morning romp. She clutched the coffee cup...
The Standoff
Missy’s moon shadow cast long, tail twitching in anticipation; the taste of freshly killed squirrel electrified her whiskers. She named her quarry Nemesis.
Thoughtful Magic
The life of a super-villainess was burdensome to Amy and when her fembot henchman, Stacey, suggested a vacation in her winter-lair on the Caribbean, she jump...
Flying Home
I watched the sun set and the moon rise, As we flew, high in the skies. The clouds below, so milky white, Hills and valleys, an epic sight.
The Craftsman
“You see, Detective, I have a little problem with knives. I collect them, large and small. Not swords, mind you, or anything garish like that. Just a simple ...
Davey's Boat
There was only one bus in town and I missed the last run, its taillights taunting me with the faint spray from the wet wheels. As I stood hunched over, ass a...
Rocktober! Show me your horns!
I’m home sick today, cold sweats, eyes stinging, bones aching and head pounding. To be honest I feel like a reanimated corpse who’d rather be just left alone...
Chimera
Betty haunted what passed for downtown Dorchester. It was two in the afternoon on a griddle-hot summer day. She had the whole crumbling sidewalk to herself. ...
Intention
Larry sat in the jail cell and tried to make himself invisible. The smell of piss, sweat and stale booze made him light-headed. An acrid mouthful of pre-vomi...
Newsworthy
David Pemberton leaned into the mirror and fussed over the crow’s feet starting to creep into his face. He liked the look he was cultivating. While Janice su...
It's Groundhogs All The Way Down
September has rolled around again. Our youngest has been delivered to university to continue his journey into Awesomehood. My bride and I are alone without c...
Broken
It was a slow night, even for a Tuesday. The rain kept everyone off the streets and away from the watering holes. That suited me just fine given my mood as o...
On the Crest of the Storm
thunderous dark skies running through the autumn grass into the dark wood
A Hole in the Plan
The blade of the shovel rang loudly as it hit rock again. Dale winced. Sound carried far in the night. There was too much noise for one evening already. He s...
The Gift
It took a lot of effort to get the fingerprints just right. Even a little too much would ruin them. Too little and they’d never find them at all. It was Chri...
Grace Under Fire
Grace raced to the emergency pull station on the other side of the room. There wasn’t much room for debate and doubt on this one. They fucked up. The quarant...
The Gypsy Tent
I wandered through the county fair, With plenty of coin and time to spare. Carnies barking to and fro, ‘Spin the wheel’ and ‘enjoy the show.’
On Taking Criticism
A writer’s heart is an untamed beast. Tho from his quill flows a reader’s feast, Not all words are diamonds written. Sometimes the author’s ego’s bitten.
Falling Star
Martha woke from her terrible dream with the chills. She was having the same dream that she’d been having ever since the confirmed diagnosis two years ago. S...
Confession
Murderer! Murderer! I thought I would ne’er hear that word. But to my woe, you now bestow that label – many times have I heard. Now this is the day that I ...
Herb's Bad Week
Herb was delusional. He fancied himself a ladies man and a friend to all his peers in the office. He was his boss’s trusted lieutenant and the only one who w...
Tommy Collects
Tommy Andolini was a brute. That simple fact, coupled with an adversarial disposition, made him well-suited to his profession. In truth, he loved his job. Wo...
2013 Mid-way to Madness
Happy Canada Day! May bacon and coffee keep and protect you in these troubled times.
Artemis Nightrise
Evie had a problem. She was overwhelmed. The coven hadn’t assembled like this in more than two-hundred years. She was unsure how many of the Night-seekers we...
Deus Ex Machina
“Where’s my son?” Luthur Pinderton slammed his large hand against the cinder-block that framed the window of the interrogation room. Inside, Detective Goran...
Free-Fall
Josie pulled the visor down on her heads-up display as she entered the airlock. Her pulse was racing. She felt a trickle of sweat bead down the small of her ...
Let the Chips Fall
Candy emptied the tobacco can in the sink, put it back under the leaking window and sat down. The chair squeaked its complaint, but bore the man’s girth stea...
Shack Wacky May
So, it’s a Saturday morning and I have the house to myself. It’s June 1st. That means it must be time for my monthly reflective post. It’s been a busy month ...
Emerald Fire
I had just parked my car and pressed the lock button when I noticed her. The old woman on the street pushed her shopping cart, stuffed to the brim with her l...
The Doorway
I climbed the back staircase of my grandparent’s old house. The layers upon layers of white paint adorned the railing and casings. They were only slightly du...
Timmy Calls Wish Fulfillement
“Hello. Wish Fulfillment Department, a division of Hopes and Dreams Incorporated. Welcome to our Customer Care Centre. Please listen carefully to the followi...
A Bargain
Saturday mornings were never complete without the obligatory yard sale run. We’d hop in the family beater and dash from trailer to trailer all over the park ...
Martin Makes His Stand
Martin slipped his battered old pickup into neutral and turned the engine off. Ol’ Trusty coasted behind the bluff and crunched on the gravel shoulder. He wi...
May Day Mayday
It’s May Day! Pagans unite for a celebration of Spring and Rebirth!
Masks
Every day of the week he wears masks, trading one mask for another. His true self always guarded and held apart from the world of men.
Descent
JOHN’S RUN
April 2013 — One Year Later
So this morning, I weigh 231 pounds. That’s up one pound from last month. March sucked in many ways, and strict adherence to my plan was among them. But, hey...
Dana's Story
PRIM
Danny's Redemption
A sharp breeze stirred up the gutter dirt as Danny crossed the otherwise motionless street. It stung his face, both the sandy debris and the cold air. He pul...
Stormy Night
It was a dark and stormy night. Sure, it’s cliché but thats how I remember how it all started. How I was forced in to making this decision. How I ended up al...
February — A Mixed Bag of Booyah
I’m a little late getting this update out. It’s been a busy time.
January — 31 Days Of Snap Its Cold
As of this morning:
Sunday Hyper Super Mega Public Doug
Another day down. Went to a friend’s place for supper and enjoyed some tasty Mediterranean fare. I ate a little more lightly during the day to ensure that I ...
Saturday Hyper Super Mega Public Doug
I enjoyed a day off and accomplished very little.
Friday Hyper Super Mega Public Doug
Breakfast and supper were both skillet meals. Hot food on a cold day FTW!
Thursday Hyper Super Mega Public Doug
I probably didn’t need the pepperoni but, hell, I could have made worse choices.
Wednesday Hyper Super Mega Public Doug
I made a goulash for the family this evening and put some meat and veggies aside. They had theirs with macaroni and tomato soup. To mine I added some pasta s...
Tuesday Hyper Super Mega Public Doug
Better breakfast today. The stew was pretty carb heavy, but I still managed to stay within acceptable thresholds and enjoy a cookie and some chocolate.
Monday Hyper Super Mega Public Doug
This was a pretty typical day. I was a little rushed so breakfast was quick-and-dirty. I made the salad while the eggs were boiling. Supper was kinda just th...
This Week: Hyper-Super-Mega-Public Doug
A few people have asked me lately to detail exactly what I eat if I’ve been eschewing all grains for months. My god! Think about the toaster! Won’t someone p...
The Clock Is Running
> The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is c...
Gobsmacked
I have to admit, I was kinda down about this month’s results on the scale – a big ol’ goose-egg. It seems like I’ll never get to the 100 pound loss mark let ...
Cash For Stache
Cash for ‘stache?
Burpees!
Healthy living and productivity can be an interesting challenge with a lot of complimentary skills – mad ninja skills. Too bad I’m not a ninja. Yet.
Time to Let Go and Play
So, first the update. Currently, I weigh 239.2 pounds and a wear a size 38 pants. That’s down 67 pounds and 10 pant sizes since April. 92 pounds gone over al...
A Personal Experiment for September
Another month down, another 10 pounds shed. At 246, I’m a full 60 lbs down since April when I opted to eschew grains and refined sugars and a whopping 85 lbs...
Cheerios Are Evil
So my grandson was visiting with us on the weekend. He’s a great kid. Having him around is an inspiration to get healthy.
Crazy milestone achieved.
It’s official.
30 Days of May scratch June…
I’m a little late with this entry – it’s been a crazy month and a tumultuous week or so.
30 Day Challenge — April's Done, May's Begun
Last month, I committed to a 30 day challenge to remove flour and added-sugar from my diet. It evolved to be a lot closer to the Primal Blueprint (definitely...
My 30 Day Challenge
April is a nice square looking month this year – starts on a Sunday and all that. April Fools Day makes as great a New Year as anything for resolutions.
Remembering Wilson Verge
I met Wilson in the summer of 1998. I was doing some very hands-on IT consulting for the NSCC Metro campuses. In conversation, I made the mistake of letting ...
Cloud Storage Choices (DropBox, SugarSync, Box.net, iCloud, SkyDrive, SharePoint)
I have 5gb on Dropbox, but it requires that I install a client to access it which is fine for iPad, BlackBerry (and PlayBook) and a computer with which one h...
So, for some reason, I thought it sensible to cull my Windows Live Messenger contacts.
I got mired up in the Windows Live platform import/export goofiness and generally ended up annoying all my peeps. Sorry.
Brain Dump on my Post-Election Thoughts (so I can move on with life)
I’ve voted NDP in every election for which I’ve been eligible save one. The first time I exercised by democratic right, I voted for Kim Campbell’s Tories – t...
Momentum
On the way home yesterday, crawling through late afternoon traffic along the Bedford highway, I was listening to CBC Mainstreet NS. An item washed over me th...
My iPad Experience
Everyone and their cat, it seems, has done an iPad review. I got my hands on a few of these through work as my teams needed to get a handle on what was alrea...
Now Accepting Suggestions On How I Should Decorate My Boot
So, I slipped on the metal threshold of my front door while taking the garbage out. Wearing Crocs. In the rain.
What CO2? No CO2 here!
One week later and I still can’t let this one go.
I have a theory…
The Vatican is so besieged by pedophilia and corruption scandals that the Holy See has commissioned secret work, in an unprecedented alliance with the Illumi...
Your intestines will be my jump rope…. Your skull–my urinal
Taken from: Why I’d rather be punched in the testicles than call customer service – The Oatmeal
The Woodbridge Dog Disaster
There was an old woman in Woodbridge there was So proper and tidy and all of them things She would wander all day with her duster in hand She was one of thos...
Gramps would have been 99 today…
<h2 id="the-song-of-the-wage-slave">The Song of the Wage-Slave</h2>
I love homemade pea soup!
Rhonda makes a mean split green pea soup. It’s very tasty and always reminds me of a couple of jokes. The first one makes me giggle:
Hey! You! Get Off of My Cloud! (Or Why SharePoint and Not X?)
As has become obvious over the last couple of years, higher education has to move past the firewall and traditional computing services such as the “alphabet ...
Alone in a Car
Barreling down the highway at dusk with the windows down, enjoying the cooling air and screaming to some rock classics on the radio.
Tired of the rain?
A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march righ...
20 West Street, Antigonish, NS
For about 50 years, this was my grandparents’ house. Gramma, and then my uncle, ran a restaurant called the Cottage Store adjacent to the house. Nicknamed th...
One Of The Reasons I Love My Wife
One of the reasons I love my wife is in daring to fly without any safety belts.
Maternity
There once was a Square, such a square little Square, And he loved a trim Triangle; But she was a flirt and around her skirt Vainly she made him dangle. ...
This Came Up in Workplace Conversation Today…
Hannibal Lecter: First principles, Clarice. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What do...
Missed Opportunity
Meeko would lobby to have Extreme Sleeping as an exhibition sport for the next Olympics, but she just can’t seem to get motivated.
She Laughed Until She Cried…
So, I had an hour between coming home from work and taking Adam to guitar lessons. I decided to haul up some the old tile in the kitchen as part of the disco...
Misty Morning at First Lake
It was a nice fresh morning and I was up early as usual so I took Sheba down to the lake.
Extreme Indifference and Random Access Thoughts
I find that partisanship is generally quite disruptive be it political, social or even the most mundane hair-splitting.
Schrodinger's Duplex
Go ahead and vote this one up for the lulz.
Down the Rabbit-hole at Easter
I firmly believe in the golden rule, which is a common thread with all religions – it’s unfortunate the opposing biological imperative still reigns.
Coffee Week — Saturday
Happy Caturday!
Coffee Week — Friday
Pretty late in the day and far under quota for coffee consumption – lowered my standards to convenience store brew.
Coffee Week — Thursday
I’m in planning meetings all day that will probably feature the stereotypical coffee urn of curious vintage.
Coffee Week — Wednesday
To be honest, I’ll ingest coffee in any form by the middle of the week. Sometimes, I’ve been tempted to take a jar of instant and eat it dry with a spoon. Go...
Coffee Week — Tuesday
While attending university in Antigonish, I stayed with my grandparents. My grandmother had founded a little restaurant across the street called the Cottage ...
Coffee Week — Monday
Today was a Tim’s morning.
Coffee Week — Sunday
I balance lazy, affordable and tasty when I make coffee.
Random Thoughts on Simplifying Productivity
I get a kick out of the anti-productivity backlash out there. There’s a lot of good dialog on the subject but it seeds doubt and uncertainty. I’m not sure if...
Teaching Human Ethics and Simply Being Thankful
I was talking with a co-worker this morning – that kind of cubicle chatter that usually starts any given day. He was sharing a story about the appropriatenes...
I Don't Get Twitter
I tried to understand it. I really did. For almost a month, I tooled around with it trying to find a reason to use it. Apparently, a cat has more cause to tw...
Cats, Rabbits and Random Thoughts
So, I was in a meeting yesterday. We were embroiled in heated discourse over project planning and scenario discovery around a frankenbuilt technology solutio...