by Doug Langille
I didn’t kill him. He was already dead.
The room was pitch black when I awoke. I fell asleep leaning against the back of the door. My shoulders tingled as my circulation returned. It didn’t help much. With my arms restrained like they were, it was nearly impossible to take a full breath. My head swam as my eyes adjusted to the dark. The sparks and flashes of dust motes disoriented me, awash in a sea of teaming life where darkness reigned.
The power had been out for a couple of days, from what I surmised from the dim glow ebbing and flowing through the wire-reinforced glass in the door. There was no real way to be sure though. Time was elastic for me at the best of times. These days? Well, let’s just say things were different.
The hot, stale air reeked of my own sweat and stink, and his as well, I suppose. My foot shot out to kick him, landing with a wet thud. In some ways, I was thankful for the dark. The air exchangers were out, but there must have been some venting somewhere. My breathing grew frantic again, so I closed my eyes against the murk and did the breathing exercises Doctor Goodwin taught me. She was my favorite. She always smiled at me. At least she did when she possessed a face. Bastards.
We were in group session when the arse fell out of the world. Doctors Goodwin and Meier were running the show with a stuffed bear as a talking stick. Barry, Emma and Hughie went first, leaving me and Haley. I grew bored with Hughie’s crying and Barry’s whimpering, as he rocked back and forth. Haley stood, walked around her chair clockwise, and then counter-clockwise, humming a nursery rhyme. Meier guided her back to her seat. Man, these people were nuts.
Goodwin cell buzzed. She glanced at the number and excused herself to take it. I watched her shapely legs swish away with approval. I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave, I mused. Hughie stuffed that damnable bear in my face, blocking my view, and shook it like a rattle. I wanted to punch him. That was probably why I was in restraints.
“It’s your turn, Eddie,” said Meier. “Do you have anything to share this morning?”
“Fuck you.”
Meier shook his head and bent forward to scribble in his chart. The bald spot looked like a tantalizing target. Goodwin came back, put her hand on her colleague’s arm, and handed him a note. His glasses fell from his face and dangled around his neck from the chain that later facilitated his untimely demise.
The security alarm clanged as the double-doors at the back of the ward burst open. A small crowd of dishevelled-looking people broke into the room. They were all bloody and torn, but moved with a swiftness I hadn’t thought possible. Immediate pandemonium erupted in a melee of gore and violence. Frozen in shock, I witnessed the escalation. Three assailants gnawed on Goodwin’s pretty face after tackling her to the ground. Barry vomited all over his pajamas, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t make it out of the circle. None of them did.
Meier and I clambered over and around each other trying to get out the south door. I threw my body against the press bar and fell through. Still bound in the jacket, I panicked and yelled as I violently flopped around on the floor like a fish out of water. Meier, wide-eyed and bleeding, helped me stand and we bolted to the cell block to hide.
It wasn’t until later I realized he’d been bitten.
I kicked Meier again. Nothing. I didn’t mind hunger, but hated being thirsty. Drinking from the toilet had to be pretty much the lowest point of my miserable life.
The dark got to me. At first there was a lot of noise, but it’d been relatively quiet for some time. No screaming. No growling. With the power off, I faintly made out the sounds of the street below. Sirens. Gunfire. There was an explosion last night, but nothing in the ward.
Pacing around the cell helped me think. It wasn’t mine, but Marky’s. I can’t remember. We weren’t exactly reading room numbers, if you know what I mean. A lucky break in one hand and a dumb-ass move in the other, we hid in a cell that automatically sealed when closed. It needed to be unlocked from the outside. Nice.
Meier and I cowered like children, holding our breath. I begged him to take the jacket off, but he refused. Paranoid or just an asshole, who knows? Rotten fucker. Glad he’s dead. No, I won’t take it back.
The good doctor found Jesus, Allah and Buddha. He hedged his bets, I thought. Sometime after the first couple of long hours, he raved and babbled. The crowd of crazies on the other side of the door heard him and screamed incoherently, banging on the metal. The emergency lights were still on, and I worried they’d figure it out. They weren’t likely getting inside without a working brain cell to spare. It was Meier who drove me batty.
All at once, he got quiet and passed out. Eventually, the crazies begged off to find other faces to peel and limbs to eat. I bent over him to listen for breathing. It would’ve been much easier with hands, of course. Nothing.
He sprang forward and growled like the freaks outside. I’d seen enough zombie movies to guess where this was going. I didn’t get out of his way in time. He tripped over me, fell forward and slammed his head on the toilet with a dull thud. Not waiting to see if it slowed him down, I jumped on his back and dug my heels into his pudgy hips. Using my teeth, I grabbed the chain of his glasses and leaned back with all my weight, pinning him with my knees on his shoulders. His back arched so he couldn’t get up. Meier kept trying to reach me with his hands, but his middle-age lifestyle didn’t permit the flexibility. He gurgled and sputtered as he twisted and flailed. I rode him like a rodeo bull. Yippie!
Why the chain or spectacles didn’t break, I have no idea. Thank you, Jeebus. With one of his jerks he threw me off, but I managed to hold on to the glasses. His neck snapped audibly and I lost a couple teeth. Meier shit himself and died again. That was that.
As I crossed the cell for the millionth time, I booted him again for good measure and stopped. Did I hear something? Was someone yelling? Yup. Words, not growls. It was Haley. Shit, of all my saviours, it had to be the obsessive-compulsive. I kicked the door with my feet. “Haley! Over here!”
“Haley!” Fuck, I tired of saying her name. “Haley, can you please open the manual door lock? Pull it out, turn it one-quarter, and push it back in. That’s all you gotta do.” I had this place cased. I paid attention. I knew how things worked.
I saw her pacing back and forth through the glass, leaving little bloody footprints on the tile with her elasticized paper booties. Back and forth, chewing on her nails. “Eddie, I can’t!” she squeaked. She was crying, of course. That was useful. “I can’t make it three! It needs to be three! Doctor Goodwin said it was okay, but it’s not!”
For Christ’s sake, why did I draw this winner? “Listen to me. It is three. Three steps. Three God-forsaken, monkey-fightin’ steps. Pull, twist, and push. Count ‘em, Haley.”
“No.” She let out a huff of air. The motion shook her small frame. How old was she? Fourteen? She put her lower lip atop her upper and sat on the floor, arms and legs crossed. “You’re being mean to me, Eddie. Doctor Goodwin said you had to be nice to me. Remember? I won’t let you out until you say sorry.”
I fought to not tear this little bitch a new one. I walked over and gave Meier another boot, then another one, real hard. I stretched my back as far as the jacket allowed. My shoulders cracked with the stress. My hands were wet with sweat and probably blood. I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms. With great effort, I forced myself to relax my hands. The tingle from the change in blood circulation made them hurt. I ignored it.
“Haley, I’m sorry.” I put on my ‘good guy’ voice. I don’t usually take this pansy-arse out to play. I wanted to kick my own ass. Embarrassing. “Please, let me out. We’ll figure this out together? Are you hungry? I know how to score us some food.” My stomach rumbled at the thought, despite my rising gorge from the cell’s stench of shit, puke and rot. Time to get the hell out of here.
“Thank you, Eddie. Apology accepted. Was that so hard?” I bit my tongue. More blood. She then stood up, now coated in syrupy red. She approached the door and did pretty much what I expected. Pull, push, pull, push, pull, push. Pull. Twist right, left, right, left, right, left. Twist right. Push, pull, push, pull, push, pull. Push.
Man, this was killing me. “Okay, Haley, open the door.” Turn, turn, turn. Open. I was free. Cool air rushed in from the hallway, and I enjoyed the freshness of it.
Haley stood a couple paces away, afraid of me. Good. She should be. “Haley, would you be so kind as to undo these buckles?” I made my best ‘good guy’ smile. Oscar worthy. I turned my back to her and she crept forward. Her little fingers trembled as she fiddled with the straps. It took forever!
I shook her and the jacket off. It fell to the floor with a thud and clang. Too loud. I pinwheeled my arms to bring them back to life. They felt extremely light, but strong. “Two or three days?”
“Only two days, Eddie,” she said. “I saw it on Doctor Goodwin’s watch. I took it from her. It’s pretty. She let me play with it once.” Haley jingled it on her wrist for me to see. It was too big for her. My annoyance heated up. Bye-bye, ‘good guy’.
I pivoted on my heels and reached her in one step. She yelped like a wounded puppy when I grabbed her by the hair and pulled her face closer to mine, forcing her to stand on her tiptoes. That was fine with me. I held her in place for a three-count and then let her go. She nearly fell, but managed to keep her footing.
“Haley, now you listen to me. I’m nuts, but you’re crazy. If you weren’t a kid, I’d drop you like a sack of moldy potatoes. If you want to live, you best heel and keep up.” I softened my tone, point made. I said, “You hungry? Let’s hit the staff lunchroom first. Stay on your guard. The bastards could be anywhere.”
She nodded. “Yes, Eddie.” Good girl.
It wasn’t supposed to be a terribly complicated affair to find us some grub. Ha! I turned to Haley. “You ready?”
She nodded and eked out “Y-yes, Eddie.” The girl skittered around me, a couple paces away, lest I grab her by the scruff again. Hey, whatever kept her on her toes.
“We gotta get out of this block and to the stairwell on the other side of the common room. Let’s go. Stay behind me.” Like a beaten dog, she complied.
Unable to see, the dark hallway left me feeling exposed. The waxed tile floor glowed with the ambient light from the high windows. Without the hum of machinery, I was conscious of the sound of our progress. Our breathing. Our shuffling. The wet, slurping noise as we hit an area slick with bodily fluids and other sticky bits. We came across four bodies between Marky’s cell and the monitoring station. Well, there were four separate heaps. Everything was torn and ripped apart. One pile contained too many arms and another had too few heads. Haley kept trying to identify them.
“That one is Grace. She was nice. And that one was Elias. He always touched himself down there when I saw him. Gross. Here is Paula… mixed with Charles. Some of him anyway.”
“Haley,” I hissed.
“Yes, Eddie?” she sounded almost chipper. What the fuck?
“Haley, shut the hell up before I punch you.”
“Okay,” she sang. If we weren’t already in a nuthouse, I’d swear she was losing her marbles. Can you do that twice? I shook my head. Focus, Eddie. Food. That’s all you need. Fix you right up.
We came close to the common room door, and I counted another six corpse-piles. Thanks, Haley. At least her naming ritual was done. The room ahead shone brighter because of a skylight, but I couldn’t see inside as the glass was smeared with red and black. What I did make out would have made me shit my pants if I’d been well-fed. It was a good thing Haley slinked behind me, because the last thing we needed was a scream-fest. A shadow moved around in the common room.
“Turn around and keep an eye behind us while I scope this door.”
“Eddie, I hear something.” Haley squinted into the murk behind us. “There’s something coming. Hurry!”
I heard the scrape of frantic movement. Something was coming for sure. A low growling swelled from Heap Number Four. A grunt and then some movement. Haley wailed “No, no, no, no, no…”
My hands still ached from the restraints, causing me to fumble with the latch of the door handle. A heat, red and furious, formed behind my eyes as the adrenaline surged forward. I balled my left hand into a fist and smashed it down on top of the latch as I yanked with my right. The door wouldn’t budge. The palm of my left hand did little to cushion the blow. My whole arm registered the pain. The predatory sounds behind us grew louder. There was more than one. Oh Fuck.
Terrified and useless, Haley frantically pawed at my back. The rage part of me wanted to lash out at her, to throw her to the dark. I fought the urge. It was too short-sighted. I brought my left arm around again on the stuck latch. It finally gave way. The door opened explosively with the force of my yank. Haley and I fell backwards on the floor, closer to the advancing, and hungry, threat.
The light from the common room spilled down the hallway, lighting it up like a flare. There were nine distinct movements. Nine ways to die. Their growls got louder, becoming screams as they reacted to the light. Three retreated from the brightness, but the other six surged forward. I grabbed Haley by the wrist, dragged her to her feet and pulled her with me as I leaped across the threshold into the open room.
Wheeling to face the maw, I yelled back to Haley, who stood dumbed by shock. “Get over here! Help me close this fucking door!” She skidded over and contributed her weight. I slammed the steel door shut and hit the emergency bolt lock as the mass of flesh and bone assaulted the now sealed door. It was savage and raw, but the sound of crushing bodies and breaking limbs were muted by the insulating reinforcement.
I took Haley’s hand and together we turned to face the horrors of the common room.
An abundance of light spilled from above. The skylight of the common room exposed the brilliance of the summer sun. After the dark of the ward, my eyes issued their complaint. A dull throb grew in my forehead with the same blistering cadence as my bruised hand. I shivered with excess adrenaline even though the room warmed with the sunlight. The putrescence of decay emanated here.
To the left of the door hung Doctor Andrews. He swayed back and forth gently, casting a long shadow. His neck tilted at a queer angle. I guess that’ll happen when you string yourself up to a basketball net with your own necktie. One shoe sat on the floor below him. The calf of his left leg was split open and half-eaten. Precious little remained aside from the tendons and ligaments. It looked like his bandaged right bicep had taken a bite as well. I wondered if the good doctor did some last bit of public service in removing himself from the zombie gene pool. What I didn’t really get was why he moved. We were alone. Sorta.
There were close to thirty people here when shit went down. Now, bits of shredded human littered the common room floor. It looked like the worst kind of food fight at summer camp. I remember a riot back in the prison’s cafeteria. Best workout ever. That was a good day. Today was not. Haley sat in the middle of the room, legs splayed, cradling the head of what looked like Emma. I didn’t see the rest of her, if there even was a ‘rest of her’ any more. Haley sang lightly. “Pockets full of posies. Ashes, Ashes…”
“They all fall down.” I don’t know why I joined in. The little bitch’s voice was melodic and infectious, I guess. Second verse, same as the first! This was too much. I stepped over Barry. At least I thought it was him. Bloody blubber, puke and shit. Check, check and check! I caught myself from falling. Christ on a cracker, this floor was greasy! I crouched in front of Haley. “Quit the fucking singing.” I spoke slowly. She stopped immediately.
That worked for about a second-and-a-half. Still playing rock-a-bye with Emma, a low moan rose from her. It grew louder and louder as her young emotions boiled over. What the Hell? We didn’t have time for this. I grabbed Haley by the shoulders, probably a little rougher than intended. I wasn’t known to be a gentle soul. “Haley, you need to stop.” She didn’t. I looked back at the door we came through. The banging and clawing stopped. “Look at me, for fuck’s sake.” Nothing but that god-awful wailing.
I stood up and walked around her, running dirty fingers through dirty hair. My hands balled up into fists as the girl continued. I snapped around and let my backhand fly to shut her up. It wasn’t until after she’d flown backwards that I registered I’d hit her with an open hand. Emma’s head wobbled out of sight behind an overturned table.
I closed my eyes and lifted my head to the ceiling and muttered, “Oh, fuck.” I approached Haley who flinched away from me. Rightfully so. At least she stopped with the noise. “Haley, I won’t hit you again.” I lied, of course. How was I to know that? I held out three fingers. “Haley, how many fingers do you see? Count them.”
She looked up warily, the dark expression of her eyes partially hidden by wayward hair. She brushed it away from her face and focused on my hand, the one that struck her, now held aloft. “One, two, three. Three fingers, Eddie. Please don’t hit me, Eddie. I’ll be good. I’ll be quiet.”
“You’ll be safe with me, Haley. But you gotta buck up. Can you do this?” I asked, summoning my good-guy persona again.
“That’s what Mom used to say,” she said quietly. I knew from group her mother was recently pushing up daisies. At this little girl’s hand, no less. That’s why she vacationed here with us. It’s good to keep track of these things. It’s good to remember the little details. I’d have to be more careful. No channelling ‘Mommy Dearest’ with this one. No siree, Bob.
Haley’s eyes widened as they darted from meeting my gaze to over my shoulder. “Eddie…” she gasped. Shit.
The force of the blow sent me tumbling on top of Haley, in a tangled mass of arms and legs. My feet kept slipping on the greasy floor, failing to find purchase. The weight of our attacker fell upon us. I kept my limbs moving in an attempt to avoid being bit. All I pictured was fucknuts hanging over there with bits missing. Not this cat. Nope. Time to get my head in the game.
My arms found solid floor and I threw my body backwards. All I smelled was rot, strong enough to taste. Haley screamed, and so did the stinky fuck behind me. It sounded female. I managed to turn in to a crouch before it leaped at me.
I grabbed the first thing I found. Batter up! Barry’s leg felt heavy at the meatier end as I swung. Bits of flesh and blood splattered me as it made contact with the zombie bitch’s face. It didn’t slow her down, so I swung again. Crack. The leg broke, bending across her head. I tossed the shattered limb aside. Even in death, Barry was a useless tit.
Haley suddenly jumped on the larger woman’s back, repeatedly jabbing her head with a shard of broken glass. Crazy bitch. It howled in fury, trying to figure out how to deal with the unfriendly backpack.
A second undead bastard joined the fray and plucked Haley off. She turned around and cut it across the jugular, spraying putrid blood all over her face. He dropped her. Haley scurried over to where I squatted. She helped me wrench a metal leg from the upturned table.
We stood for a moment, squared off with the two monstrosities. I held my new bludgeon and Haley wielded her glass sabre. Her hands trembled as they gripped the blood-soaked cloth wrapping the makeshift hilt. Two more walking shitbags joined from the east entrance of the common room. Damn.
I looked at Haley. “You ready for this? This is where you shine. Pretend these ugly-ass losers are your mom. Don’t stop until they do.”
Haley’s eyes flashed a hurtful fury at the mention of her mother. Point made. Motivation. Then she did something I didn’t expect. She smiled. Widely. This kid definitely had a streak in her. For a split second, I wasn’t clear who was going to get the business end of her intent. She wasn’t either.
She nodded to the gruesome foursome, as they fanned out. Any theory I harbored of these being stupid movie-zombies went out the window. This would be a dance of tactics, guile and luck.
“Let’s do this, Eddie. I’ll head left, you right. Race ya to the middle,” Haley whispered, excited and light.
I nodded slowly. She enjoyed this. My gut feelings about this little girl were on the mark.
Charging forward, we screamed like banshees.
Haley and I stood in the center of the room and surveyed our victory. We were soaked in the salty gore of hard-won blood and sweat. I waded my way over the ruin of flesh and bone to where Haley proudly admired her handiwork. With the table leg, I jabbed at the remains of the torso from the first bitch on the scene. My hand throbbed with the punishment. It started to swell, likely fractured. Add ‘First Aid Station’ to the list of visits in our little adventurous foray.
Haley wiped her brow with the remnants of her shirt, baring her midriff. So many scars, burns and cuts. The miserable cow masquerading as a mother used her as an ashtray, among other things. I looked back at Haley’s face and caught myself smiling at the fresh smear of God-knows-what on her forehead.
“You missed a spot,” I said and pointed to the top of her head.
She reached up and drew her finger across the works, examining the gob. “Gross!” she said, wrinkling her nose. At that moment, she was more child than killer. “Eddie, I got Nurse Chumley all over me.”
The absurdity of her response was too much to bear. I broke into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Haley’s giggle joined mine in this shared little joke of battle. We were beyond speech. It was all about emotional release in the face of madness, possibly on the verge of it. My ribs made their bruised and abused status known, cutting short my guffaws. When Haley saw me wince, she stopped as well. Her eyes displayed genuine concern. “You okay, Eddie?”
I nodded and forced a smile, the good-guy one. “I’m fine. Gotta get the number of that truck. What about you? Check for bites.”
“I’m fine. It’s only a couple of scratches.”
Fuck that noise. Something wasn’t right. “Take your clothes off. Now!”
“But, Eddie…” Haley looked at me as if I commanded her to kill a puppy. She’d done worse.
“Listen, you contrary little bitch. I’m not pinching for a peepshow. Show me your back, the shit you can’t see. Then show me your arms and legs. I’ll do the same. Gotta trust each other.”
She nodded meekly and did as she was told. Good girl. No room for teenage modesty today. Her hands and arms took the brunt of the damage. There would be plenty more scars to add to her collection. Man, this kid’s seen some action. My back didn’t fare so well. There looked to be three deep gashes across my right shoulder to the small of my back. Fingernails. Fuck. It was weird I didn’t feel them. That didn’t give me the warm and fuzzies.
We left the room at the west, where the nursing station kept its patrons safe and medicated. We hit pay-dirt. Haley dressed my back from the medical kit and wrapped my hand. I did the same for her battered arms. Raggedy Ann and Andy, all patched up for another day of play. No meds though. Staying straight for once was probably the best thing either one of us could do anyway. I spied a water bottle with ‘Janice’ written across the side in block letters with a Sharpie. My thirst forced me to drink greedily before handing the rest over to Haley. She scored a blood-sprayed, half-box of granola bars. We were too hungry to discriminate.
“I’m tired, Eddie.”
I looked around the inside of the nurses’ station. It was cozy, but most importantly, the doors and windows were equipped with rolling metal shutters. This stood as a fine little fortress. I turned back to Haley. “Me too. We’ll camp here.”
We grabbed a stack of blankets, hospital-issued cotton. Pulling down the metal shutters made an obscene amount of noise. Our hideout wouldn’t be much of a secret for long.
I laid on my side, facing the door, hands still clutching the table leg as I tried to get comfortable. Haley spread out under the counter top and dropped immediately to sleep.
It was a while before I nodded off, listening to the dark, my imagination running wild. At some point, I dozed then woke to find myself flat on my back with Haley curled up to me.
I ran my fingers through her hair and touched her cheek. She shivered as if fevered. Maybe it was me. I fell into a fitful sleep, praying for daybreak.
Guys like me never dream about nice things, only nightmares. Tonight wasn’t any different. In this Hell-trip of a brain-cramp, I was locked up again in a hospital being hunted by zombies with a teenage psycho chick as backup. Wait a minute. Shit. Not dreaming.
“Eddie?” Haley’s small voice broke through the radio static of my thoughts. “What are we going to do? I don’t want to die in here.”
“No shit,” I quipped. That wasn’t high on my list either. “We’re getting the Hell outta here. It’s been quiet. What time is it?”
Haley bent under the emergency light and wiped the face of Goodwin’s watch. It was broken. She shrugged. It probably didn’t matter much. It was time to skedaddle.
With that, we left our tin cage and ventured out.
On the other side of the station sat a shelf of linens and scrubs too fresh looking to pass up. We took turns standing guard outside the small washroom. The water was cold, but felt good on my face. I peered over my shoulder, peeking in the mirror at the festering mess brewing on my back. It looked angry but alive. I hoped that signalled good news.
There was a pipe wrench in the can that hefted better in my hands than the table leg. Haley upgraded as well. Someone had a birthday. Maybe it was Chumley. Who cares? The six-inch blade whipped and chopped the air as Haley welded it as an extension of her arm. This wasn’t her first rodeo.
Haley skipped down the hallway, pointing out the sights. The corpses here were largely staff, from what Haley reported. I was satisfied they didn’t fucking move. Evisceration and dismemberment did that to a person. There weren’t enough bodies, only rage and food. Where the Hell was everyone else? I remember the lockdown bells going off during the initial swarming of the common room during group. That seemed a lifetime ago.
“Haley, hold up.” I bent over the bloody torso of some miserable fool in a lab-coat. The badge said he was Assistant Director Stevens. I took the badge at face value as there wasn’t one left to verify. But, hey, we scored a swipe card. Aside from emergency lights, the doors outside the ward were all electronically keyed.
The girl stood over me and looked up and down the hallway. She touched my shoulder. It burned. “Eddie, where are all the guards?”
Good question. It was all lab coats, scrubs and johnny shirts. Nothing but dead and infected folk. From a tactical perspective, that didn’t bode well. “We have to get off this floor. Now.”
We sprinted to the stairwell at the end of the dim hallway. Human ruin blurred past as we went. The smell of it all no longer bothered me. Even for me, this marked a new low. My feet hurt. Hospital slippers weren’t meant for athletics.
My numb hands fumbled with the swipe card. The blood beat in my head as my heart thumped in my chest. The card fell from my hands. Haley picked it up and unlocked the door. I flung it wide and we went through.
The stairwell was brightly-lit. Did the power come back on? No. High windows.
“Which way, Eddie?”
“Down.”
The metal steps ground painfully into our feet as we descended the first flight. Sneakers. We should have relieved a few folks back on the ward. Not smart, Eddie. Gotta do better.
The crash of the door below deafened us. Haley and I saw the dance of seven or eight red dots hit the wall three flights down. This would be all shoot-first-questions-later kinda action.
Haley looked frightened. That was helpful. “What now?”
“Up. We go up.”
Haley and I managed to gain two flights before the echo of gunfire threatened to rupture my eardrums. I remember stopping my ascent at the first report, closing my eyes and waiting for the sting of the lead rain. It didn’t. I looked up at Haley. She looked down at me, then beyond to the melee below.
“Eddie, those aren’t soldiers.”
I turned and saw a dozen men in black jumpsuits, vests and ball caps. They brandished automatics. I couldn’t tell what kind, but it didn’t matter. They weren’t pointed at us, but at the door to the floor below the ward. It was open and the squad dumped hot metal inside like rice at a wedding. It didn’t change anything. The men were overwhelmed by the onslaught. There were too many of them.
“Climb, Haley. Hurry.”
By the time we reached the top floor, the guns fell silent with empty magazines. Soon after, the screaming stopped, the sound of men and women being eaten alive finished. Haley and I looked at each other in unspoken understanding. Our own end would be quite different.
We slipped inside the door to the top floor and heard the lock click behind us. Another windowless door stood in front of us. We were in some kind of ante-room, small and dark, more so after the glare of the bright stairwell. The buttons on the keypad glowed their request. I swiped the card and waited. Pin code. Shit.
“Birthday,” Haley said.
“What?”
“Try his birthday, Eddie. It should be on the card.”
It was. The keypad made a beep and there was a clunk as the mechanism turned. I turned to Haley. “Thanks,” I said. “Doesn’t mean you get a fucking gold star or anything.”
“Whatever, Eddie,” she said as she skipped ahead of me through the open door. What the hell was wrong with this kid? “You coming?” she asked. Her eyes danced. Haley looked possessed with our little game of hide-and-seek.
“Hold up,” I said. Things were too quiet in here, lit solely by the emergency exit signs and all the office doors closed. It was clean, antiseptic clean, hospital clean. Well, some hospitals anyway. After what we’d seen below, this was the last thing I expected. Double-doors loomed at the far end. “You got your knife?” One, two, three came her swipes in the reddish lamplight. I felt under-armed as I hefted my heavy pipe wrench. “Let’s go. Slowly.”
We made our way to the end of the corridor. I pushed one of the doors gently with the business end of the wrench and found it gave easily. Haley and I crept through. I looked about the large area. This was more like it.
The main room was huge, with what looked like smaller procedure rooms circling the perimeter. Another set of double-doors stood exactly opposite to our position. There were high windows, much like the common room back on the ward floor. I had no idea what time it was, only that it was still daylight.
The center of the space drew our attention. We easily imagined how things were setup, orderly and all scientific-like. To the left would be row upon row of gurneys with straps running the length, facility for at least twenty beds. At the right stood a bank of heavy metal shelving filled with stainless steel cages. We didn’t bother counting them. This was nowhere near orderly. This was chaos.
Cage doors hung ajar as if torn. Gurneys were askew, straps snapped and shredded. Some were toppled over. One bed and its hookups were smashed into the cage-wall. Blood and ruin coated everything. There were no bodies, human or otherwise.
Haley and I found ourselves in the center of the wreckage back-to-back, her eyes watching the left, while I guarded the right. My heart pounded against the brain noise of the quiet room. I realized we were both holding our breath. “Breathe, Haley,” I said. She reached behind with her shield hand for mine and laced my fingers. I let her. She was cold.
Then the goddamned monkeys showed up.
The absurdity of the approaching troop stunned me for a few moments. Sure, I expected there to be monkeys. That’s what the cages were for. But there was a difference between knowing a thing from putting two-and-two together and seeing that same thing running towards you with teeth bared screaming bloody blue murder.
“Eddie,” Haley said, as she squeezed my hand. “Their fur is full of blood.”
I shook her hand off, and time slowed. I looked to the procedure room where the parade began. It was human soup. The lab nerds must have sought safety and were picked off like fish in a barrel, a barrel full of monkeys now.
I swung my wrench and clocked the first one in the head, sending it tumbling wildly to the right. I nearly lost my footing with the inertia. The return arc nabbed two more. My foot connected with one under the jaw. Lights out, little fucker. By the time I brought the wrench around again, three more were in flight as they leapt towards my head. I clipped one as I ducked. The other two were on me before I righted myself.
Haley didn’t fare any better. The cake knife extended the reach of her swing slightly. She was quick and most effective when she caught the monkeys with the tip. Sprays of chimp blood whipped across the room in an abstract artist’s fit of passion. She took out six or seven of them before the blade became lodged in the neck of one screaming bag of fur. Just like that, she was disarmed.
I bashed two heads together with a satisfying crunch when a gunshot thundered. I turned to glimpse Haley with her arms outstretched choking a wriggling monster Hell-bent on biting her face. Then with another boom, its head exploded, showering the girl in dead monkey juice.
The second shot did the trick. The remainder of the troop yelped in panic and scurried back to the barrel room. Our apparent savior made chase and threw the door closed behind them as he shot a straggler.
He turned to us. “You guys alright? Are you bit?”
Haley and I quickly took stock and shook our heads. There was a lot of blood, but none of it ours.
“We’re good,” I said, not mentioning the festering scratches on my back. Haley kept the peace as well. That’s my girl. She learns fast. “Where the Christ did you come from?”
“I’m Barney. I was in the can when shit hit the fan out here. Where’d you sprout up from?”
“Ward-floor.” There wasn’t any point hiding that fact. We were in patient scrubs. “I’m Eddie. This is Haley.”
Barney was obviously a security guard, a little overweight, but tall and strong-looking. The room was cool, but he dripped with sweat. He didn’t come across as being all that bright. The man had the gear though. He still held his service weapon and wore a nightstick. The riot-gear vest he sported was too small for him, but made carrying spare clips easy.
He stuck his giant mitt out and I shook it. “Good to see normal folk for a change,” he said enthusiastically before turning to Haley. “Welcome to the lab, kiddo.” She smiled brightly at him and shook his hand with her whole arm. Barney saw her as a little helpless girl. I knew better.
“How long have you been here, Mister Barney?” Cute, Haley. Cute.
“Fifteen years,” he said with a smirk. “Four days since the lockdown, three of them with only me and my little friends. The squints didn’t make it.”
“Well, something made it off the floor. It’s a shit show out there,” I said.
Barney nodded. “Yeah, whatever these jokers were working on, jumped from chimp to human.”
“By accident or on purpose?” Haley asked. Good question. She yanked her knife out of the dead chimp with a wet gurgle and pop.
He didn’t answer, probably because he didn’t know. Instead, he said, “I called for backup.”
“If you mean the rented guns, don’t count on ‘em. The bastards didn’t make it past the second floor.”
“Jesus. We’re on our own then.” He looked beaten, defeated and somewhat smaller.
Haley went over and hugged him. “It’s okay, Mister Barney.” I didn’t expect empathy from the girl. She was chock full of surprises lately.
“You best stay clear of me, Haley.” He gripped her shoulders, pushed her back to arms-length away and let go. He rolled up his sleeve and showed us his bandaged arm. It weeped pus and stank like rot, reminding me of good ol’ Meier. “It’s been a rough couple of days. The fever and puking started this morning. I probably don’t have long.”
Barney wasn’t stupid after all. He knew the score.
The decision to kill Barney wasn’t hard. Getting it done was a bitch.
I worked in the chemical room, putting together a poor-man’s flame thrower by mixing hand sanitizer with lab-grade ether in a plant mister. It’s funny what can be found if you’re observant. Barney’s yellow knuckles told me he kept a lighter handy, even if he was out of smokes. I’d pinch it later.
When I came out of the room, Haley and Barney stood facing each other several paces apart. She wore his vest. I stopped. He pleaded with her.
“Do it.”
Haley’s hands shook. It wasn’t that she couldn’t kill. Nope, that wasn’t the issue. She’d never fired a gun before.
“What if I miss, Barney?”
“You won’t. Use both hands. Relax your grip. Don’t lock your arms. Breathe deep and slow, sight along the barrel as you do. Hold your breath and squeeze the trigger.”
The monkeys pounded and screamed at the wire mesh glass of the door as if they knew what was afoot. Neither Haley nor Barney took notice of them or me. It was their moment.
“I’m scared,” she said.
“Do it,” he said through clenched teeth, struggling for control. “Do it or I’ll hurt you.”
The gun roared, Barney toppled to the side and was still. Keeping a wary eye on Haley, I cautiously walked over, grabbed the nightstick, and dug through his pockets for the lighter. Score. I smelled the sour metallic mix of burnt gunpowder and fresh blood. Haley watched me with detachment, her mouth slightly agape. The gun hung limply at her side.
“Haley,” I said. No response. I flicked the lighter. It was one of those butane torch types. Perfect. I gave her time. I hefted and worked the baton, a fine tool. I waited a little more before meeting her gaze again, cold and dead.
“Haley,” I repeated and moved towards her. “Give me the gun.”
“No,” she said quietly. So it was going to be this way? Okay-fine.
I thought about simply taking it from her, but something about her demeanor made me reconsider. “Give me the fucking gun, Haley.”
Like a doll brought abruptly to life, her whole body moved at once. Her hand tightened around the grip of the pistol and her arm raised deliberately and leveled the barrel at me.
“No,” she said slowly, this time more forceful and decisive. The scared little girl vanished. I had no idea who this was in her place.
A few things happened at once. The security glass of the barrel room cracked and splintered as the hairy freaks threw each other at the little window. The double-door we came through forever ago burst open and a gang of fucked up misfits burst on the scene. Former patients, doctors and jarheads mingled together in zombie-harmony.
With a hoard to the left of us and a troop of rabid chimps pouring out from the right, it was easy to miss the small miracle of Barney’s resurrection. He stood up, staggered and shook his head as he gained his footing. A flap of skin at his temple wagged to and fro. Haley’s aim fired true but not perfect.
“Ah, shit,” Barney cursed, as he first looked at the encroaching parties, then at what was clearly now Haley’s gun.
Haley and I looked at each other and stifled a shared laugh at the absurdity.
“Hey, Barney. Catch,” I said as I tossed him back his baton. He caught it with one hand and gave it a twirl.
“Time to go to work,” he said as he assumed a fighting stance. Barney swung the baton like it was part of his arm. I was impressed the large man moved with such grace, especially given his recent brush with death and the stink of what was to come. That kind of training marked him as a rare breed.
Haley fired in to the crowd repeatedly until she ran out of ammo. Every shot hit its mark, but they hardly made a dent in the fray. She held only the cooks’ knife and fell back to guard our rear. We were being forced backward an inch at a time.
Even Barney’s acrobatics could not change our fate. We were being out-flanked. The lone weapon left having any effect was my fire mist. A few of the monkeys caught ablaze right away, making for a weird game of cricket as Barney batted them with his nightstick. I’m not sure a troop of flaming zombie monkeys was more or less dangerous. Their fear of fire granted us a small perimeter, a bubble of sorts.
When our backs hit the double doors of the opposite side of the room, my plant mister finally gave up the ghost with a melted nozzle. As luck would have it, it wasn’t a moment too soon. The odor of propane filled the room.
“You guys smell that?” I asked.
“Smells like barbeque,” said Haley.
“Roasted monkey meat smells like pork,” Barney chimed. “So does human. Don’t ask.”
I didn’t need or want to. Instead, I said, “Look at the broken gas-lines. This place is filling up quickly. We gotta jet.”
Haley’s eyes went wide as she understood. “Eddie, we have to do it.”
“I know. We will.”
The hoard must have worked out that we had no fire juice left and came forward in earnest. We took it as our exit cue and backed through the doors. Barney jammed his nightstick in the handles while Haley dropped the lock pins on the floor. I took care of the upper ones, buying us a few extra minutes.
“The roof access is over here,” said Barney.
The three of us sprinted to the exit and clambered up the metal stairs emptying out on to the roof. The night air was cool, fresh and dizzying. It hit me like a sucker punch. I heard the whump-whump of helicopter blades amid the yells of frantic people. I saw shifting spotlights, scurrying men in black-ops regalia and a half-dozen moving hazmat suits. I couldn’t make out what anyone said. They were still out of earshot, but came closer.
Haley touched my hand. “You promised, Eddie. Set this place to burn.”
I showed her the butane lighter and said, “I’ll be right back,” knowing it wasn’t a promise that could be kept. I turned to head back down the stairs not thinking about consequences anymore. Haley wanted to see this through and so did I, even if it was a one way trip.
Barney’s hand hit my chest and stopped me short. He looked at me, warrior to warrior. “I’ll do it.” He indicated his wounded arm. “My goose is cooked anyway. Let me do this.”
I held his stare a few seconds longer and handed him the lighter.
Barney’s last words before he ducked back inside were a simple truth. “Besides, you need each other.”
As Haley and I sat huddled in the back of the rising helicopter, we felt the warm wind of Barney’s firestorm. We’d be okay.
Jonas leaped over the barricade and wormed his way through an opening in the quarantine fence without being noticed, his stolen prize held tightly in his jaws. He knew the smell of roasting meat would give up some spoils. It nearly drove him crazy that humans could be so wasteful.
The cat scurried behind the firetruck and slinked underneath, warily watching booted feet run to and fro. Too often, Jonas had been stepped upon or felt the thump of a steel toe. He dropped the scrap of scorched flesh and sniffed. It was always good to take your time, to savor the moment. Too often, Jonas had to gulp his food or risk losing it. If it wasn’t other alley cats, it was the rats. Always the rats.
The morsel was smooth on one side and fleshy on the other with a dangling bit of a treat attached, swollen from the heat but not yet ruptured. He licked the saltiness of it and knew it’d be the best part.
Jonas peeked out from behind the big wheel in time to hear the whump-whump of the approaching man-bird. Looking at the building, he felt the primal fear of his recent escape. His own fur was burned, shorter on his back and outright missing along his left rear quarter.
The girls would have to wait before this Old Puss went prowling again.
He’d been sniffing around the green and yellow waste containers when the first explosion hit. It always smelled like food there, but he could never figure a way to breech inside. Trucks hauled it away every day and left one in its place that smelled like ‘The Vet’ where his family took him before he fled years ago.
Another explosion of flame and breaking glass rained debris amid a wave of hot wind and sent the men in a renewed frenzy. Jonas watched with feline amusement and he started to eat. First he picked off the flesh from the underside of the torn bit of cheek, then he bit into the orb; its hot juices ran over his tongue and down his throat. It was a taste beyond his simple imagining.
Licking his paws and washing his face, Jonas started to feel warm, not from the firestorm a few dozen yards away, but from his belly. It wasn’t the nice heat of a sated appetite. This felt wrong.
More vehicles showed up, different trucks that he hadn’t seen before. They were green. Many more men were here now and the mayhem evaporated, but not the danger. Jonas sensed the change in mood and hunkered low to the ground as he made his exit away from the quarantine zone.
Back in his home alley, Jonas stumbled and leaned to one side, bumping and scraping his already sore body. A few other cats came over, sniffed, hissed, and then ran away. Friends and enemies alike, no one would have anything to do with him. Jonas was sick. He felt cold and the world alternated between bright red and cold black. The fire in his belly now reigned rampant throughout. His mind raced as fast as his little heart.
Jonas was dying. He could see the rats. They waited in the shadows and he was afraid. The rats would come. The rats would feast. His last thought was of how delicious his poison apple was.
The blackness ruled for an untold time, then awareness crept in. He felt the pull and tug of tiny teeth tearing apart his little body. First one set, then two, then many more. Everyone had to have a taste. He let them. He felt no pain, only a gripping hunger.
The battered tom rose from where he lain and lashed out to the nearest opportunist, larger than most. His claws ripped open the rat’s throat, dividing the attention of the wriggling swarm. The feeding frenzy abandoned the now reanimated cat.
Wild and strong like a panther, the hunt already loomed large in his psyche. It swelled reborn now, and the cat formerly known as Jonas quit his alley, seeking more challenging prey. The rats, he once feared, followed.
And thus, the plague was unleashed.
I hitched my knapsack up over one shoulder and got off the bus. The bright summer sun and dusty air assaulted my senses after the long ride. I’d gotten used to a regular cadence of sleeping during the day and only hopping off at truck stop diners during the middle of the night. People, long-haulers hyped on caffeine mainly, left me alone. They stared, of course; the thin teenage girl with the wild hair and dead eyes. I didn’t belong there or anywhere.
I didn’t belong in this empty shit-hole of a town either, but here I stood, watching the bus reach its escape velocity, leaving me trapped in the black hole of my youth. Welcome home, my ass.
Early on a Sunday, the sign on the gas station door read ‘closed’, but I didn’t have to look to know that. The pharmacy and liquor store across the street were also silent; one would open later and the other would not. The Holy Ghost frowned upon the mortal spirits. Say a ‘praise Jesus’ and keep on walking.
The main drag shot straight as an arrow, east to west, and I headed away from the sun, continuing my journey. Mother’s house lie a mile or so away, standing hidden by a small bluff of scruffy trees. We never had enough rain, and I always wondered why they even tried to take root. No one else around here did these days if they had any choice.
My progress down Main went largely unnoticed, and that was fine with me. Once I was spotted, tongues would wag and my ears would burn. Yes, I’d enjoy this short peace. Any reprieve from the pokes and prods of the last few months, physically and mentally, was welcome.
I hesitated on the doorstep, staring at the past. The key around my neck felt heavy like stone, and taking it off did little to easy the weight. With the door unlocked, I ventured inside and nearly gagged at the stench of chlorine. More than a year later, it lingered strong enough for me to hurriedly open windows, the two living room ones first, then most importantly, the kitchen. The cross-breeze did its job.
The wooden knife block was one occupant short, its missing contents long placed into evidence, save the broken handle’s scattered ash. Everyone knew what I did, just like everyone knew what Mother did. Even though my new doctors said I was fine, I think Doctor Goodwin was right after all: I never would be whole. She probably got what she deserved; they all did. We all do.
I selected a six-inch cook and twirled it slowly, admiring the turn and flash as it caught then lost the morning light. The final showdown with Mother was not the worst thing I’ve ever done with such a weapon.
There were far more terrible things in this world now. My friend, he showed me what I could do with my anger. I whipped my blade in an arc and smiled as the air hissed in complaint. Perhaps, the Universe was in awe and it needed me to stem the darkness. Maybe that was my job, my purpose. Yes, I could be a terrible thing too.
The door opened behind me, and I turned to face the intruder, hiding the knife behind my back. Not in the least surprised, I quietly waited, gauging what would happen next. Tactical assessment ruled my life these days; it was all tactics, all the time. Either that or die in hesitation. I waited patiently.
“Welcome home, Haley.”
I knew I was playing with fire, but since when had that stopped me? I couldn’t turn it off even if I wanted to.
“Hi, Ben,” I said, loosening my grip on the knife. Friend or foe, the guy was still my brother. “What brings you here?”
The corner of his mouth turned up in a smile. I always missed that. “That’s my question, squirt.” He kept his distance. Those few feet felt cavernous.
“How’d you know I was back in Dodge?”
Still smiling, he said “Just a hunch. I saw you on TV. You looked a little homesick.”
I laughed. “Homesick? Yeah, that’s it.” I turned and slid the knife back in the block, imagining Ben’s watchful gaze, measuring and judging. I searched for that in his face and only found concern. “I missed you, bro.”
With that, the awkwardness vanished. In a single step, he picked me up in a big bear hug. He smelled like sweat and car grease. He smelled like Ben… my Ben.
He put me down and looked at me. “You’ve lost weight. You okay?”
My cheeks went hot and I knew I was crying. Dammit. I wiped them away with the palm of my hand. “No, I’m not.” I walked around the counter and opened drawers one by one. Where are they?
Ben pointed as he followed me. “By the fridge.” He reached above my head and passed me the box of matches. “I’m sorry, Haley. I shouldn’t have sent you back East??” to that place.” He went back to the cupboard for the little tins of butane.
I lit a match, blew it out and tossed it in the sink. “I don’t blame you for that. Either that or go to jail, right?” I struck another as I watched Ben squirt the fluid around the floor, couch and curtains. He closed the windows as he went. Strange, this house seemed so much bigger a year ago. The match sizzled in the sink. I opened the knobs of the gas range, closed my eyes and listened for the hiss.
Ben called from the other room. “The hospital. The fire. I saw it and you on the news, Haley. The quarantine.” He poked his head around the corner. “How’d you get out?”
Match Number Three burned bold and bright between my forefinger and thumb. “They cleared me,” I said absently. Bullshit. I cleared myself. Fucking tests. Poor Eddie. I blinked and Ben was still talking, so I blew out the flame and tuned back in.
“Let’s go,” he said and reached for my free hand. I took it and we walked through the fumes and into the sunlight. “They said it’s some vaccine they were working on. Some weird strain of cholera and rabies.”
Weeds grew between the cracks in the walkway. The story of my life. ”It was a mental hospital, Ben. They don’t make vaccines in the nut-house.”
He let go of my hand and we turned to face the house we grew up in. “Yeah, no one believes that shit anyway.”
“You have no idea,” I said. Mother was small potatoes. We grew up with a monster and now the world would run rampant with them.
“Try me.”
“Maybe later. You ready to do this, Ben?”
“We made a pact, right? Figured this was why you’re back.”
“Burn the past.”
“Burn it to the ground.”
I struck match Number Four, let the head flare and steady before casting it to the invisible vapor trail.
Ben and I sat at his kitchen table and drank coffee and waited. We’d both taken showers. I swear I could still could smell the butane, but my brain told me it was just my brother’s awful soap. If I was going to stick around town for a while, we’d have to upgrade a few of the amenities.
The first phone call came shortly after lunch. Our mother’s home was on fire. Did we know anything about it? Of course not, officer. No, we’ll be home all day. Yada yada. Ben fielded that call.
George from the garage called next. Officially, he asked if Ben was coming to work today. He was just fishing. Ben didn’t take the bait; said to keep working. Business as usual.
Old lady Parker called third. Gossiping old bitch. The only surprise was that she wasn’t first on the grapevine scene. Her age must have caught up with her. I took no small pleasure in answering that call. When she heard my voice, she stammered and stuttered a polite apology and platitude before hanging up.
“Well, it’s official, Ben. I’m back in town. The announcement has been made.”
We laughed our asses off. I made some macaroni casserole and tossed it in the oven. By the looks of his fridge and cupboards, it didn’t look like Ben did much cooking over the last year. Typical man.
“How come you don’t have a girlfriend, Ben?” I asked as pushed my food around the plate. Everything tasted like fire and chemicals.
Ben didn’t have that issue. He plowed through his meal like it was his last.
“You going to finish that?” he asked, pointing to my plate.
“No. Avoiding the question, Bro?”
He reached across and scored his seconds. “Nah, I’ve had women over, just none that stayed long enough to be called a girlfriend.”
“Why is that? Good looking, owns his own business and not too much of a jerk.”
He shrugged he shoulders. “You know how it is around here, Haley. Everybody knows everybody. I see a girl and remember her with pigtails. Women see me and remember our family, what happened to Mother. People are afraid to get close.”
I started clearing the dishes. “What about just moving away? You can fix cars anywhere.”
“Dunno. Maybe I should. To be honest, I was waiting for you.” Ben got up and went to look out the window, watching for our expected visitors. It got dark early.
I stopped and gripped my hands on the sink, fighting back tears. “Sorry about that. I should have been stronger… smarter.”
And then Ben was beside me. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I left you with her. I ran away and I should have protected you.” He put his hand on my shoulder. I brushed it off.
My face felt hot and stung. “I hated you for that. Not as much as I hated Mother.”
Ben retreated, refilled our coffee mugs and sat back down. “That’s good. You stabbed her thirty-two times. I’d hate to see what you’d do to me.”
I sat down as well, irritated. “Thirty-three. It was thirty-three.”
“My mistake.” He laughed.
“Don’t make fun. You sent me away, Ben. You helped them send me to that place.”
His face grew serious and dark, his voice sad. “The alternative was prison, Haley. I didn’t have any choice.”
No one had any choice. “I know that now. Doctor Goodwin helped me. She’s the only one who did.”
Blue and red colors flashed through the curtains. Finally.
Officer Kyle Lovett went to school with Ben. We never were allowed to have friends over, but the two boys were thick as thieves growing up. It was really hard to think of Kyle as anything but my big brother’s goofy friend. He sat at the table with us. I offered him a coffee. He politely declined.
“It’s good to see you, Haley. When did you get back?” Kyle had his notebook out and pen at the ready.
I smiled my best smile. “This morning.”
He put the pen down. “This morning? And your mom’s house burned down pretty much as soon as you got home?”
“Fucking crazy coincidence, ain’t it?” said Ben.
“I’ll say,” said Kyle.
“Any idea what happened?” I asked. Ben shot me a dirty look.
Kyle leaned forward and frowned. “You’re joking, right?”
Uh-oh, this wasn’t going well. Ben knew it too. “You know Haley, Kyle. She has no sense of humor,” he said.
“Hey, that’s not fair. I do too.”
“So far, it looks like a propane leak,” said Kyle. “We have no idea what started it. Arson hasn’t been ruled out.”
“Is that why you’re here?” asked Ben innocently. “I haven’t been back to the house since we cleaned it out after Haley’s trial.”
Kyle looked at Ben. “Poker, Ben. You always sucked at it.”
“Well, you always cheated.”
“If you’re not prepared to cheat, you’re not prepared to win.”
I reached across and closed Kyle’s notebook and looked him in the eye. “We’ve known each other a long time. How can we win here, Kyle.”
There, it was out. As close to an admission as I dared, but there didn’t seem to be any way out of this. Yeah, I probably should have waited a day or three before I sparked up Mother’s house, but I couldn’t help it. I just couldn’t. Not after all the bullshit that I’ve had to deal with. Ben knew the score before we even talked about it.
“I’m sorry about your mom, Haley,” said Kyle and he noticed me stiffen. “I don’t mean about her being dead. No one in town blamed you. But you have to move on. This place… this place isn’t good for you.” He looked at Ben. “Either one of you.”
Ben sat back. “There’s no place for people like Haley and me. You know that.”
“Yeah. I get that,” said Kyle and turned back to me. “No more fires, Haley. It’s over.”
It would never be over. If what was going on in New York was any indication, things were just getting started.
Ben stood up and offered his hand to Officer Lovett. My brother’s friend stood up, took the hand and brought it into a hug.
“Thank you,” said Ben. “From both of us.”
The fire was ruled accidental. With no insurance on the place, no further investigation would be warranted. The property went back to the town, one of many abandoned properties in the ever shrinking burg of Ambrose.
Loafing around my brother’s house drove me batty. Ben said that Phil was looking for another waitress across the street from the garage. I had to do something. To be honest, the truck stop, Ben’s garage and Phil’s sports bar were the only money-makers left in Ambrose since the mill shut down years ago. I’m surprised anyone stayed let alone came back. What was I thinking? Three months or three years, time disappeared here.
Today’s shift went pretty much as expected. Halfway through, Phil took me aside.
“Haley, I need you to work a double. Laura called in sick.”
“What about the other two, Jen and Amy?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
Phil show his head. “M.I.A. Three shifts now.”
“Fine,” I said through gritted teeth. Why the Hell was I so stupid to come to work on time everyday? Seemed optional to some.
“Thanks, Haley.” He walked back to the kitchen, short-staffed there too.
Good thing there weren’t many patrons today. Just the usual jerks and losers. I tossed my cloth on the tray and set it on the corner of the bar. Nobody was watching the screens so I flipped the one behind the bar to the news. I poured a draft. What was Phil going to do, fire me?
‘Curfew in effect today for the greater metropolitan areas of the states of New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. The Quarantine Zone has been extended to include the rest of greater New England. All sea and air ports continue to be closed for the fifth week in a row. CDC officials were not available for comment.’
The TV went mute and Phil sidled up in a stool next to me.
“You were in New York, Haley,” he said. “What the Hell is happening?”
“I wish I knew.” I downed the rest of my beer. Phil got up and filled up two glasses. “Thanks,” I said. “It was scary a few months ago when I left. It’s crazy now.”
“As long as it stays there and not here, I’m fine with that. It’s wing-nite, Haley. We gotta make hay while the sun shines.”
“As long as the sun keeps shining.” The beer tasted sour.
Phil looked at me “That’s awfully dark.”
I pointed at the silent screen, images of fire and victims. “You watching the same thing I am?” Officials in front of podiums. Newscasters and politicians ‘making hay’ while they could. Same shit, different crisis.
“What are you saying?” he asked.
“Just that, if I can make it to Ambrose, so can anyone. I wouldn’t count on the QZ doing fuck-all in the long run.” I finished my glass again and winced.
Phil turned the TV back to the sports channel. “Well, ain’t you just a ray of sunshine.”
“You asked,” I said, got up and collected the table service caddies for wings.
He grabbed the napkin dispensers and followed me around. “What happened to you in New York, Haley?” he asked, voice low. “I mean, I know why you were there. Everyone does. But now you’re home and you’re different.”
“How so?” I asked, curious about his game.
“You’re… whole, I guess that’s it. It’s good to see.” Shit, he is hitting on me. Ugh.
“I’m still broken, Phil. Just ask Ben.”
“Maybe you are, but aren’t we all?”
Fuck. Bartender-wisdom is such bullshit.
I have this terrible habit of getting in fights. No matter how hard I try to ignore the idiots, some asshole has to open their cake-hole and say something that I just can’t ignore.
Phil rode my ass all night about getting orders out. For some reason we were busy. Sure, it was wing night and all that, but we were swamped with out-of-towners. All of them looked like they hadn’t slept in days. Some stunk.
The early part of the evening, people were quiet and well-behaved. Too quiet. They ate and drank in their little groups. Phil joked that if the zombie apocalypse was going to be like this, he’d be able to retire after all. I told him it wasn’t funny.
As the night wore on, it became obvious that people weren’t in any hurry to leave. They just kept coming through the doors. We ran out of chicken early. Phil didn’t want to close the kitchen. Something was going on. Somewhere along the way, Phil’s Pub and Grub became a refugee camp.
I called Ben to give him a heads-up that things were off. Phil called the police.
Standing on the bar, I counted two hundred people in a space meant for half that. Forget occupancy limits, this was a real hazard. I was tired and cranky. Double-shift my ass, this was past overtime.
“What does a guy have to do to get service around here?” growled a scrawny bald guy with an equally thin scruff of a chick wobbling off his shoulder.
“Sir, in case you haven’t noticed, we’re a little overrun here. Please sit down. I’ll get you something shortly.”
Miss Scruff piped in. “Don’t let this bitch order you around, Donnie. We can serve ourselves. What’s she gonna do?”
Yeah. That works every time, girlie. “I’m afraid you’re cut-off, ma’am.”
“The Hell I am. Didn’t your mama teach you any manners?”
I swear she threw the first punch. I dropped her with a single left. It’s great being a southpaw. Of course, it didn’t end there. Does it ever?
By the time Officer Lovett arrived, the bar had erupted in a fair-sized brawl. Phil and I were behind the bar, trying like crazy to get the liquor secured in the cage.
Kyle had a bullhorn and two other officers flanking him with tazers drawn.
“This is the police. Stop fighting or you will be arrested.”
In a small bit of irony, Miss Scruffy and her man Donnie thought it wise to take them on. I felt satisfied to watch them twitch on the bar floor. The room quieted quite quickly after that.
Ben, Phil and a few ‘volunteer’ customers helped put the room to rights as Kyle and I took stock of the newest people to visit tiny Ambrose, some of them needing medical attention and all of them needing a place to stay. We asked them where they were from.
Without exception, they all had fled the Quarantine Zone.
Shit.
The truck stop had sleep quarters for twenty and was easily commandeered. The owner wasn’t too happy to find out he’d also be serving breakfast gratis, but such were the times. A bunch of us ferried some sick people over to the medical clinic, despite my protests. The last thing we needed around here was another hospital full of Zs. Been there, done that.
The remainder bunked out in the bar. Luckily, many of them came with their own sleeping gear. Word got around quickly; a bunch of volunteers showed up. Being ever the cynic, I figured them to be more nosey than Samaritan.
Phil was freaking out, but we’d have to let tomorrow take care of itself. It was late. Food and gas were top of mind. These people aimed to move on. I didn’t want to think what that meant for the residents of Ambrose. I overheard Kyle talking to the Mayor. They figured we’d lose some residents. I can’t say I’d blame them.
Ben and I had flashlights and were checking the retail compound’s now brimming lot of vehicles. Cars mainly, with a smattering of trucks and vans. Some campers from the overly prepared. Most were empty and locked. We found some kids trying to open the tow-behind of one of the trucks. I don’t know what they looked for.
We came across one car near the back corner of the lot, hemmed in by other cars. There were people inside. The windows were fogged up and at first I thought they might be taking a last bit of fun before the End of Days.
The car was cold to the touch and looked a little too still. I looked at Ben and he mimed palms up. Not particularly useful. I rapped on the passenger window with my flashlight.
“Any one there? Are you okay?”
No response. Ben went to the drivers side.
“Hello?” he asked as he knocked.
Fuck this. I jiggled the passenger door handle and found it unlocked. I opened the door and a woman tumbled out on to the ground with a slippery noise of wet. Caught off guard, I jumped back and yelped.
“Are you okay, Haley?” asked Ben.
I shone my flashlight on the woman and saw the mess where her head had been. Gunshot in close quarters. I flicked my light into the car. Ben had already opened the other door. Our beams both illuminated the rest of the story. The woman’s partner was slumped in his seat, gun in hand and the top of his own head missing. I wondered how many of these we’d find.
My head spun as I thought about it and I stumbled to my hands and knees. I vomited right beside the woman’s body. I couldn’t help it. Everything I had in me came up. When Ben helped me stand, I was bawling.
“This can’t be happening again, Ben. This can’t.”
“Shh.. It’s okay, Haley. It’s okay to be upset.” Ben led me away from the car and leaned me up against the side of a camper, one we’d cleared earlier.
I couldn’t speak. I just heaved and looked around the parking lot wildly. Afraid. Despite everything, I was afraid.
“Breathe, Haley. Breathe.”
“Why’d they check out, Ben? They were out of the QZ?” I don’t know why I bothered asking. We knew already. Another version of me might have done the same thing. A happier version of Haley that didn’t know what this meant. I looked at Ben. “Are you okay, Bro?”
He blew out some air, obviously relieved that I was calming down. “Yeah, well, no. This ain’t okay. I thought I’d never see this again once I left the Army.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. Ben never talked about his five year tour overseas. Mother wouldn’t let us. When Ben left the first time, he took what I called ‘the easy route’. Clearly, I was wrong. Nothing easy about war. Here we were, on the cusp of it again.
Ben stood up and grabbed me gently by the shoulders and said “You okay to finish this sweep? Only one row of cars left.”
It was the row closest to the road. This hour of night, there was no traffic. Just a stroll in the darkest of dark. I used to love the disorientating black. New York cured me of that.
“I guess so. Not like we have much choice.” I rolled up my pants leg and took the knife out of it’s holster. “Let’s do this.”
“Jesus, Haley. Is that from the kitchen?”
“Would it help you to know that it’s from Mother’s knife block? I kept it as a souvenir. Seemed a shame to burn it.”
“And here I thought you just preferred jeans.”
“I do. Stylish and functional,” I said. “You lead, Bro. I got your back.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. Pointy bit down, please.”
“Fine. Spoil sport.”
We crept along the last row and found all the cars empty. At the very end of the strip, Ben and I sat on the hood of an old Mustang. Seemed a strange choice to me, but hey, who was I to judge.
Ben handed me the water bottle he brought along. I drank from it greedily as we watched the purple light make the corn field across the highway glow.
“How long do you think before they come, Haley?” He didn’t look at me when he talked, just kept stared ahead, like he didn’t want me to read his face.
My feet dangled in front of me, thumping on the fender of the car. “Who? The zombies from the QZ? I have no idea.”
He looked at me and the concern was painted on his face. Something else too. Anger. Not a great look for him. “I was thinking of a more practical concern. The people who experimented on the patients at the hospital.”
“Oh, those guys.” Man, I didn’t want to think of those bastards.
“Yeah. You said they weren’t military. Some black-ops outfit with the CDC?”
I nodded. “That’s a good question. To be honest, I’m surprised they haven’t found me already.”
Ben drained the rest of the water bottle and tousled my hair.
“Let’s head back. It’s getting chilly.”
I wish Eddie was here.
No one fucks with Eddie. I grabbed the green duffel bag and stuffed the small assortment of my belongings into it: a pair of jeans, a couple t-shirts and shit like that. So much horse-fuckery. These assholes have no idea what they’re up against. I grabbed my pocket knife off the counter and slipped it in my pocket. I looped the bag across my shoulder and headed for the barracks door. Something caught my eye. Haley’s lucky shoelace. Crazy bitch gave it to me. I put the bag down and sat on the cot, running my fingers through my hair. Shit. I can’t leave her.
Christ, there’s no bottom to this shit show, is there? It kept getting deeper and deeper. If that jack-off, Harris, wanted me to lead his misfits, well screw him. Enough was enough already. There’s a reason why I ended up in that freak show cage in the first place and I’m not going back. No siree, Bob! I was never going to be responsible for anyone’s lame-ass decisions anymore. Too much blood had been spilled already in the name of duty. Eddie’s number one customer these days was Eddie and I liked it like that. Fuck that noise. Goddammit, Haley. Why the Hell did you have to go and take off like that?
“Eddie,” said a voice from the doorway. Harris. “Calm down.”
“Really, dude? Calm down?” I couldn’t believe this guy. “You said you were going to help her, not poke and prod her.”
“I’m sorry. You know what’s at stake.”
“Yeah, yeah, the safety of the planet and all that shit. I swear, if she gets her bony ass killed, you’ll be next.”
Harris looked at my duffel bag. “What are you planning to do, Eddie? You can’t go after her. You need to stay here.”
“No more fucking tests.” I head towards the door again.
“How’s your shoulder, Eddie?” he asked.
I stopped. “Fine. Never better.”
“You won’t be if you go out there again.” This guy. Why was he so smug? Jarhead fuckwad.
It was all I could do to not gut him where he stood. Wouldn’t want to spoil my blade. “How do you know that? Fucking psychic now?”
He must have sensed my mood and put his hands palm-up. “The scratches never healed, Eddie? Can you even feel your shoulder?”
“Arm works fine. Just scar tissue.” I demonstrated for effect. It hurt like Hell. Wasn’t going to let this jerk see that though.
“What if it isn’t? What if you turn? What good to Haley are you then?”
That hit home. I sat back on the bunk and dropped my bad to the floor. Harris kept his distance. Smart.
“Look, we know where she’s headed,” he said. “Ambrose. Let us send in an extraction team.”
I looked up at him and laughed. “She won’t go with you. You know that, don’t you?”
“Probably not, but we gotta try. She’s all we got. Otherwise, we’re cooked.”
I should have trusted my instincts. The girl, calling herself Haley, possessed a wild look about her. Despite the frame of a teenage girl, Haley put out the vibe that she was no kid.
The town where my van finally gave up the ghost wasn’t much of a town at all: one street with a gas station on each end. I asked the mechanic what kept people here. He said, “pulp mill”. That was it. No details. He was that kinda guy.
I needed the coin and it was only dumb luck that the roadhouse across from the garage found itself in sudden need of a Thursday-night act. A lot of people were sick or missing these days, not just here. The world wasn’t quite right and it made me antsy. The mechanic, Ben, said he’d have me back on the road by noon the next day. That was fine with me.
I was finishing my second set when this chick walked in. She looked at me then nodded to the bartender, holding up three fingers.
“Name’s Haley,” she said as she handed me a beer and saluted me with the other. The other wobbly-pop sat on the bar. “My brother’s working on your wheels.”
I took a long pull from the bottle. “Thanks, Haley. I’m Jimmy. Small town?”
“You have no idea. Ben says it looks like you sleep in that van. That won’t happen tonight. Shop’s locked up for the night.”
“I didn’t think so. Figured I’d go cowboy camping,” I said, pointing to my bedroll. Actually, Chuck, the owner of this shit-hole, offered me the cot out back. I don’t know why I lied to her.
“You can stay in the spare bed at our house tonight. Just remember that I have a gun. I’m also very good with knives.”
That last bit was a little bizarre, but I let it go. “I believe you. What about Ben?”
“What about him?” she said and smirked.
A real bed had been a rare treat lately; it was a hard thing to turn down. One last set and too many beer later, I stumbled back to her place. She had to hold me up and I kept apologizing. I remember being curious about her strength. It didn’t match her stature.
I woke the next morning in a yellow room awash with bright sunlight. My head ached but I was clear. The days of my blackouts were long gone. A shadow filled the doorway and spoke.
“Sis said you were gentlemanly, last night. I argued about extending hospitality, but she won, as usual.”
“Good morning, Ben, is it? That’s what Haley said. What time is it?”
“10 a.m., Jimmy. Day’s half shot. Anyway, your van’s fixed. It’s a piece of shit, but it’ll keep you rolling.”
“What do I owe you?”
“Just a favor,” said Jimmy and he left me to get dressed.
Haley was cooking eggs and bacon; three plates were set, with steaming coffees at each spot. I sat down and grasped a mug to stop the shaking. It burned but I ignored it. Blackouts no, tremors yup. Mornings were the worst.
“Jimmy plays a mean guitar, Ben,” said Haley. “You missed a great show.” She put the pan on a breadboard in the center of the table. “Dig in,” she said.
We ate for a bit. There’s magic in a greasy breakfast that dispels the ravages of a rough night. I was curious about Ben’s mysterious favor.
“This hits the spot, Haley,” said Ben.
“You got that right. Thanks, Haley.” I looked to her brother. “You said something about a favor. What do you need from me?”
The siblings exchanged looks and Ben nodded to Haley. He was clearly uncomfortable. She shifted in her chair.
“You’re heading north, right?” she asked.
I nodded. My next few gigs were peppered that direction.
“I need to hitch a ride.”
“Where are you headed?”
“Any place not here. They’re coming.”
“Who?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“This is all a little weird for me,” I said. “Just want to do my thing. Thanks for putting me up and fixing the van. I’ll pay…”
Ben slammed his fist on the table, making all the flatware jump. “Things went bad here, Jimmy. She won’t tell me how or why, but she’s no longer safe in town or anywhere. Too many….” He trailed off, shook his head, cleared his throat and looked me square in the eye. “You keep my sister safe. Stay moving. Don’t let her be alone.”
“Please, Jimmy,” said Haley.
Jimmy and I rode in silence, his van groaning up the highway as we made for tonight’s gig. The van was on E and a payday would be welcome.
My job was easy. Help with setup and teardown, run the mixer and keep the money straight. Oh, and look pretty and don’t get in the way.
All in all, a fair trade. It kept me away from town for a while. Let the heat cool off a bit after the incident at the station. Ben had called me from a burner last month and told me some special visitors came to look for me. I haven’t heard from him since.
Rock star road warrior Jimmy pouted. It pissed me off.
“You can knock it off anytime, Jimmy.”
“Knock what off?” He said, keeping his eyes on the road. The van kept eating the yellow lines like Pacman.
He wasn’t getting off the hook that easily. “The jilted boyfriend routine. We ain’t lovers.”
Jimmy looked at me with the same gaze Ben used. All judgy-judgy. “You drank too much last night, Haley.”
“So what if I did? You weren’t exactly Mister Sobriety either.” Well, still better than me. He said no when I didn’t.
“Sober enough to play.”
“Yeah, all the chicks dug ya.”
I loved teasing him about the cougar barflies. He attracted them like moths to a flame. His polite refusals always ended awkwardly. Free beer, though.
“Don’t make fun, Haley.”
“Don’t make it easy.”
“You certainly don’t.”
It was my turn to blush. I know Jimmy wanted me and I wanted him. It was only natural. 24/7 on the road will either make you hate or love. “Low blow, brah.”
“I touched you on the shoulder and you hauled off and clocked me one.”
“Learn anything?” I teased.
“Fuck you, Haley.” I knew he thought about his promise to Ben. Goddamn you, Ben.
“You wish.” I couldn’t help myself.
Jimmy pulled in to a gas station and dropped in twenty while I went to the can. I sat behind the wheel when he came back.
“Move over,” he said and went to push me and stopped. He grinned widely and dropped his arms to his side. “Pretty please?”
“Since you asked so nicely.” I scooted back to my side. He got in and pulled out. I reached under the seat and brought out my spoils. “Want some beef jerky?”
Jimmy looked at me, frowned and took a handful. “Where’d you get that?”
“I liberated it from the capitalist pigs of commerce back there,” I said through a mouthful if leathery goodness.
“You really gotta stop that, girl.”
“I’m not a girl. You should know better than that. Besides, I was hungry.”
“One of these days, I’ll steal a kiss.”
I made a mock fist. “They’re your chicklets. Want some soda?” I wiggled an ill-gotten tin in front of him. He ignored me. I took the cool can and placed it on my chest, letting the condensation drip between my breasts. It felt good and I closed my eyes for moment. I sat up straight, smiling wickedly, opened the tab and passed him the soda. “How about now?”
He took it and drank it down as we passed inside the town limits.
This roadhouse was just like all the others we’d seen in the last month. A watering hole and gambling joint with a few whores peddling their wares. We arrived at four o’clock and had the stage setup behind the cage in short order. Jimmy grabbed us a couple beers and an order of fries for us to share as we sat at the bar waiting for the barflies to leave and the evening patrons to arrive.
“How long are we going to go on like this, Haley.”
“What do you mean?” Uh-oh. I probably pushed my luck with the soda.
“You know exactly what.” He took a long pull from his bottle.
“Listen, Jim-“
“No, I got it, Haley. It’s just that you keep sending mixed messages. One minute, it’s hot and the next, it’s like ice. I don’t want to be just your friend.”
Well, that was it. He actually said it. Shit. I picked a large fry and dipped it in ketchup. I held it up and watched the dull light shine and twinkle off the wetness. It reminded me of blood.
“I don’t know what I want, Jimmy.” I popped the fry in my mouth and sucked the ketchup from the end of my finger. “This wasn’t supposed to be a long trip. Ben wanted to get me out of town. Things were bad there.”
“I get that. Trouble is your middle name.”
I take a swig. “Probably should have been my first.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I see things. I notice them. See that guy in the corner?” I point to the table in the far corner.
Jimmy squints and looks. “Yeah. What of him?”
“He hasn’t moved since we got here. Not a twitch.” I snag another fry. It was a long one. My favorite.
“Are you sure? We’ve been here for hours,” said Jimmy incredulously.
“Not a move.”
He put his elbows behind him on the the bar. “What do you think that means? If he was passed out, he’d have fallen over.”
“You’d think.” I kept eating. Fuck, these were good.
He put his and on my shoulder and turned me to face him. “So, what are you saying? He’s dead?”
I smiled at the creepy guy behind him and stuck my tongue out. Then I looked Jimmy straight in the eye as coldly as I could. He had to get this point. “I’m just saying that we’re not safe here, Jimmy.”
He stiffened. “Roger that, Haley.”
The first set went without incident. Jimmy’s brand of music fit the crowd fine. It’s why he got gigs. Kept people thirsty. I pointed my beer at the dead guy and whispered to Jimmy. “See? Still dead.”
“What’s wrong with these people?”
“Good question.”
Some drunk chick slobbered all over me part way through the second set. She kept asking me if my boyfriend was into a three way. I said he wasn’t my boyfriend. She said that was fine, that she didn’t want to share me anyway.
I don’t know why I punched her.
I sat on the steel cot and stared at the three other people in with me: the chick and two dudes. She was throwing up. One of the guys laid passed out on the floor near her, oblivious to the splatter. The other guy sat beside me and chewed his fingernails. He smelled like cheap booze, shit and body odor. I recognized him from the table earlier. It was strange to see him animated. We’d both thought him dead. He sure smelled like it.
Yup, this was my favorite place to be. I stood and paced the front of the drunk tank like a caged animal. Where the Hell was Jimmy?
“Hey,” I said to a passing cop. “What’s a girl gotta do to get out of here?”
“Relax, Miss, and stand back from the bars. Your boyfriend is filling out your paperwork now.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Whatever you say, miss.”
“Should I be in the same cell as that lovely lady I clocked?”
“Probably not, but it’s been a busy night. Listen, you seem like a bright girl. Clearly, you have an advantage over her.”
“True enough. I can at least hold my liquor.”
“If things were a little different, you might get to spend the night. I’d recommend minding your tongue.”
“What about these clowns? I think that guy’s dead and this other guy is supposed to be.”
“Pete and Harry?” he said pointing to them. “They’re regulars. Brenda’s always been sweet on Pete.”
“I can tell,” I said as I watched a chunk of chuck land on Pete’s face. “No explaining love.”
“Nope.”
“What’s Harry’s story?” I asked pointing to the man on the cot. He looked up from his nail chewing and smiled with blood on his teeth and fingertips.
“Yeah,” said the cop. “We called the hospital again.”
I looked back at Pete. He hadn’t moved.
“Are you sure he’s okay?” I asked.
“This is normal,” he said
And then it wasn’t. Pete sat up and the grey pallor of his face and rolled up eyes told the story faster than we could process. By the time the cop drew his firearm, Pete had eaten half of Brenda’s cheek in a single bite. I held my hands over my ears as the cop fired repeatedly.
“The head. Hit the head!” I yelled.
Pete raced to the cell door with new-zombie adrenaline, reached through the bars and grabbed the cop by the arm and yanked it hard. I heard the shoulder and elbow pop as his face slammed into the door. Both he and Pete screamed like banshees. I grabbed the gun from the cop’s now useless arm and fired a round into Pete’s pickled melon. He dropped like a sack of potatoes.
Other cops rushed into the room just as Brenda turned Z. She let lose a high-pitched howl and started ripping Pete’s corpse apart. The cops opened fire and I hit the cement, scooting closer to the door where my conversationalist cop fell. He didn’t look too good, but at least he was alive.
I stood up and took aim and fired one to Brenda’s brain. She fell atop Pete, lovers until the end.
The cops looked at me and then at the gun I held. I passed it to them grip-first.
“Can I leave now? It looks like you have better things to do.”
My cop buddy was on his feet. His arm hung horribly and it looked painful. “She’s right. Let her go.”
“But Sheriff?” started one of his officers.
“But nothing. Open the cage and let her go,” said the Sheriff and turned to me. “Thank you, miss. If this is what we’ve got coming from back east, then God help us all.”
Jimmy and I drove out of town and didn’t look back.
I nearly went crazy not hearing from Ben for so long. Everyday, I’d check the phone. No messages. I didn’t dare hop on Facebook. Who knew who watched these days? We were off the grid.
We kept rolling north then west. Then south. Jimmy said he had a bit of a circuit. Took about three months to do. He and Ben figured that’d be enough time for my hunters to move on past the dusty hamlet of Ambrose.
I woke up one morning to the sun on my face. Jimmy drove through the night, trying to accumulate miles between us and that weirdo roadhouse.
East. We were headed east.
“Good morning, Haley. You’re just in time for breakfast.”
Instead of answering him, I closed my eyes, rolled over in the seat and pretended to go back to sleep. My reflection in the window was a stranger to me. I knew the eyes and the face. I remember the little girl who used to own them. Tears raced down my cheeks and I let them fall
Jimmy touched my shoulder and I flinched. “Don’t,” I said.
I looked out the window as we pulled into a truck stop. I waited in the cab while he filled it. Being alone with people didn’t top my todo list.
The booth smelled of bleach but I sat anyway. The prompt waitress filled my coffee mug and asked me what I wanted to eat. I stared at the steam rising from the cup. It reminded me of fire. Jimmy ordered bacon and eggs for himself and pancakes for me. I love pancakes. I folded my arms on the table and rested my head on them.
“It’ll be okay, Haley,” he said, bending his neck to look at me. “You’ll see.”
“See what?” I said, almost hissing. I’d no reason to be angry. No right.
Jimmy sat up straight. “We’re headed east now. Back toward Ambrose.”
I ripped a sugar packet and stirred it into the coffee. “Why’d they let me go, Jimmy?”
“I don’t know. They had no proof. You did them a public service…”
“Four people are dead because of me.” I dumped a second packet in the cup. Stir, stir, stir.
The waitress swept by and dropped a caddy with ketchup and syrup. With the other hand she topped up Jimmy’s coffee. Mine was untouched. She left again, off to pollinate another table.
“Three,” corrected Jimmy. “We can’t count the first guy.”
I held up a third packet and ripped the top, held it high and poured. Some stray grains bounced off the table.
“Three then,” I said. “I killed three people.”
“Are you sure they were even still people?”
“Doesn’t matter. They used to be. And now we’re going back home. To more death.”
He took my hand and pulled it out into the center of the table. I let him. It felt good. To be connected to him, even if that’s all it could be.
I let go, took a sip of coffee and winced. I hate sugar.
A scent of lavender mixed with bacon appeared. The waitress plunked down our breakfast. I stared at the pancakes and my stomach growled.
Ambrose never fucking changed. People looked at me strange, but they always did. Small towns full of small minds. Our mother fed the rumour machine and we were used to it. I guess it was my duty to carry on the tradition. You’re welcome, Mother.
We pulled into the garage and Ben met us wearing coveralls and wiping grease off his hands with a rag. I barely let him finish before I jumped on him with a flying hug.
He picked me up by my waist and put me down. “I missed you too, sis.” He nodded to Jimmy, coming around the side of the truck. “Hey,” Ben said.
“You never called,” I said. Truth be told, I was pissed. I didn’t want Ben to see that though. He’d seen me out of control too many times. I wanted, needed, him to take me seriously.
He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me inside the garage. Jimmy followed. Ben turned the sign to closed and pulled down the blinds.
“I said I’d call you when it was safe. Haley, it’s not.”
“What do you mean?” asked Jimmy before I could. I shot him a dirty look.
“You mean those weird doctors and private soldiers are still here?”
Ben shook his head. “No, they left about a week or so ago. It’s crazy. They stated for months waiting for you. Interviewing everyone. Fishing.”
Ben bent over a small fridge he kept hidden under the counter and brought up three frosties. Jimmy took one first, then me. I clinked the bottom of my bottle on top of Ben’s, making it foam. He slurped it up. Spillage was a crime after all. Old habits. I smiled and he smiled back before continuing.”
“I found the first listening device the day after they left. They left bugs everywhere. Nothing left to chance. I couldn’t trust any phone. The plan was to head over to Cochrane and buy a disposable phone there. Then you showed up.”
Jimmy asked, “Is this place safe?”
“I think so. You gotta bring that piece of shit truck in Bay 3 and cover it with the boat tarp there. Maybe they won’t notice.”
Jimmy left. I polished off my beer quickly and held it up. Ben knew the drill and it wasn’t long before I had another. I hoped for a full fridge.
“What if they do figure it out?” I asked. “What if they do come back? What happens then?”
“It ain’t a matter of if, Haley. It’s inevitable. Do you have any idea what’s been going on while you two were roadtripping?”
“In Ambrose?” I asked almost laughing. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I meant back in New York. It got weird since you left their but it’s bonkers now.”
Jimmy was back. “How so?” he asked, leaning against the door frame.”
“Everything east of the Appalachians is QZ now.”
“QZ? You mean quarantined?” My stomach sank. Eddie was still in New York as far as I knew. Was he okay?
Jimmy almost dropped his beer. “Jesus, that’s like a third of the country’s population.”
Ben kept talking. He wasn’t used to knowing more about this stuff than me. In a strange way that I found oddly cute given the subject, I let him plow on. “Yeah. The government setup shop in Port Angeles, Washington.”
I damn near spit beer through my nose. “Like ‘Twilight’ Port Angeles?”
He laughed a little. “No joke, Sis. Some provision Honest Abe setup during the Civil War.”
“That’s fucked up,” said Jimmy as he helped himself to the fridge.
“You ain’t heard nothing yet,” said Ben as he began his tale in earnest.
One booze run later, it was dark again when he finished.
I stomped on Ben’s foot. “Who’s Eunice, Ben?” I asked as I put on a fresh pot of coffee. My head felt heavy from all the beer. “You kept mentioning her last night. Did you finally find someone who’d stick around for breakfast?
Jimmy snorted at that. “Speaking of breakfast. Is there any pizza left?” He got up and rummaged through the box.
Ben rubbed his palms into his eyes. “Haven’t done that in a while. I’m getting a little old for all-nighters.”
“You’re twenty-eight, dude, not seventy. Grow a pair.” I loved teasing him. There weren’t many joys left. Take them when they come.
“Eunice is a teacher at the school. We met at Phil’s not long after you two headed out adventuring in music.”
I feigned some mock indignation. “Not by choice, Ben. You make it sound like I was cavorting around.”
“Was there cavorting?” asked Jimmy.
“Yes, but??””
“I rest my case,” Ben said.
“Don’t help, Jimmy. My brother and I can do this all night.”
“You just did, didn’t you,” said Jimmy as he disappeared for the can.
I gave him the finger to his back and plopped a cup of java in front of Ben. “So… Eunice.”
Ben folded his hands around the cup, warming them. “We got along good for a while. Then we didn’t. You’d like her, Haley.”
I sat down with my cup. Jimmy could get his own damn cup. “I guess we’ll never know, will we.”
“Perhaps we will. She’s coming over here this morning to meet you.”
“You told her I was back? I thought we were in danger?” I said the last bit mocking Ben’s deep voice.
“Everyone has to trust somebody, Sis. Eunice is one of the good guys.”
Jimmy returned, leading a strange young woman with his arm hooked in hers. I felt a pang of jealousy. It pissed me off. Not this new chick, but feeling this way. Stupid.
“Hey, guys. This is Eunice,” said Jimmy.
“Hi,” I said and thrust out my hand. “Haley. Ben’s brother.”
Ben stood up and pulled up a chair. I raised an eyebrow. My brother was not given to chivalry.
“Good morning, Ben,” she said.
“Thanks for coming, Eunice.” Ben clearly had feeling for her but there was a coolness between them. I wondered what had happened and walked to the kitchenette.
“Coffee?” I asked the table with the pot raised.
“Sure,” said Jimmy.
“Any tea?” asked Eunice hopefully.
“In the cupboard, Haley,” said Ben.
I flicked on the kettle and stood back, waiting for it to boil. It was easy to disappear and let them catch up. I pretended I was watching a nature show on TV, the narration playing out in my head in some crazy British guy’s voice. It surprised me how much influence another girl brought into the room. Both men laid the charm on thick; Ben’s from some guilty past and Jimmy from the novelty of Eunice.
I didn’t realize I’d been clenching my jaw until the kettle started whistling.
I plopped a teabag into a cup and poured in the water. My voice carried too loudly as I set the mug in front of her and sat down. “So, Eunice. What do you do?”
“I teach at the elementary school. Fourth grade.” The game was on. “They needed someone to finish out the year. The regular teach wen on mat-leave.”
“You’re not from here?” asked Jimmy.
Eunice smiled at him. “No. I’m from Carlisle, up state. I just needed the work. What do you do Jimmy?”
“A struggling musician and aspiring rock god,” came the reply.
Oh God, this was like a first date. And I had to bear witness. Was he trying to drive me nuts?
Ben said, “Eunice noticed the surveillance equipment first. I told her everything, Haley.”
“Everything?” Fuck, Ben.
The interloper turned to me and I couldn’t help but soften. Eunice was pretty. I got it. I didn’t have to compete with her. I couldn’t.
“Ben told me about your mom and what happened. I’m so sorry.”
I waved it off. “Don’t feel sorry for me. That Haley is gone.”
She sat back and regarded me. “Deal,” she said. I liked her a little more already.
Ben asked, “You see any of those spooks on your way over?”
“Spooks. Wow, Ben. TV much?” I laughed.
“We gotta call them something. ‘Nefarious government-like organization’ doesn’t roll off the tongue very well.”
“Fine. Spooks it is.”
“I figured they’d have given up on Haley by now,” said Jimmy. “I mean, it’s been months and shit’s going down big time elsewhere. Shouldn’t they be busy?”
“You’d think,” said Ben. “But it’s been constant. Watching and questioning.”
“Why haven’t the police done anything? You talk to Kyle?”
“Kyle’s dead, Haley,” said Ben quietly.
“What? What happened to him?”
“There was an incident in the supermarket. A riot. People got freaked out over the news and broke in. Six people were killed, including Kyle.”
“He’s your friend, Ben. Are you okay?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yeah. The funeral was tough, but you know.”
I reached out and grabbed his hand. I don’t know why. It seemed the appropriate response. Human contact, any contact. It all mattered. He looked at me, but his lip and nodded. I let go of his hand.
“What news you talking about, Ben?” asked Jimmy.
“You guys really have been living in a bubble,” said Eunice.
I sat back. “Yeah, well, being on the road does that,” I said. “You’re talking about the Washington thing?”
She nodded. “When D.C. fell, folks around here thought they were on their own.”
“Are we? Are we on our own?” I asked.
Ben answered. “For the most part, I guess. The word from the President is that it’s business as usual. Keep the economy flowing and all that jazz. Meanwhile, no planes or trains.”
“What do we do?” asked Jimmy.
“We get ready, I suppose,” said Eunice.
“Ready for what?” I asked.
“Ready for whatever comes,” she replied. Yup. I liked her.
We fell into an easy cadence, the four of us, over the next few weeks. Ben and Jimmy worked on his van and decreed it a lost cause. His next project was to fix up Ben’s Cherokee between customers. Eunice went to school everyday and Jimmy made a point of escorting her. It was easy to see that they were getting close. I didn’t know how to feel about that.
As for me? Ben managed to spirit me to his house and there I ensconced myself. I’d make a full meal and the four of us would pour over the research I did on Ben’s laptop. Sometimes we’d drink and sometimes we just talked.
It always came out the same. The spooks wanted me and the only reason we could glean was that I was a survivor. Just me and Eddie. That’s it. Everyone else who contracted the virus either died or turned Z. If I turned myself in, I’d disappear. No one would know I existed. I didn’t escape New York just to go back and be a lab rat. Screw that noise.
Still, I had to help. We needed a plan.
“Ben, when was the last time you flew?” I asked, ignoring Jimmy and Eunice holding hands under the table.
“Not since I left the Army. Troop deployment flight crew. Why? Got an itch to fly?” He fidgeted with a starter coil. Frustrated, he took it off the table and dropped it back into the box.
“Just thinking about how to get out of Dodge if we had to,” I said.
Jimmy looked up. “Where would we go?”
“I have no idea. Anywhere but here, I guess.”
Eunice nodded. “You’re right. We’ll only get so far in the Jeep.”
Encouraged, I pulled out the map and spread it across the table. My pen marks and route lines looked like the ravings of a mad woman. Fuck it. Here goes nothing. “Look, we could head southwest to Nevada… Arizona if we had to.”
Jimmy drew a line with his finger up. “Shouldn’t we head north instead? Into Canada? Wait out the zombocalypse.”
Ben and Eunice both shook their heads. She said, “We’d never make it. And if we did, then what? Starve and freeze?”
“Better than the alternative,” said Jimmy.
I slammed my hand on the center of the map. “You don’t get it. The news said there is an outbreak in L.A.”
“They apparently have it contained,” said Ben.
Jimmy snorted. “Sure they do.”
I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. The screen came up black. Nothing. I flipped to another channel. Some had snow and others had gone black screen. I fired up the laptop and brought up Google. Page Not Found.
“What the Hell, Ben? Did you pay the bill?” asked Jimmy.
Eunice figured it out the same time I did. “Media blackout,” she said.
I nodded. So much for containment. “I think we just ran out of time.”
“We don’t know that, Haley,” said Ben.
“Let’s reconvene tomorrow. It’s getting late,” said Eunice.
“I’m going to walk her home,” said Jimmy.
“You do that,” I said with a little more venom than intended.
They left and Ben turned to me. “You should give them a break.”
“How do you do it, Ben? Wasn’t she your girlfriend? How do you let Jimmy waltz in?”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, Haley. Let it go. Were you and Jimmy every going to be a real thing?”
“No, but??””
“That’s it right there. No.” He gave me a hug and I relaxed in his arms. Ben always knew when to call me on my shit.
I sipped my coffee as slowly as I could and watched a large truck manoeuvre its trailer around the crowded lot. I normally drank tea but a cup of java seemed more appropriate here. Four sugar and three cream. Ben would probably raise that disapproving eyebrow of his. Well, screw him.
Haley was late. If she didn’t get here soon, I’d have to leave for school. Vehicles came in and out of the gas station with their lights on and their wipers going. It must have been raining west of Ambrose.
“Can I top you up, hun?” asked the waitress as she floated by.
“Um, sure,” I said. It was weird being treated so politely. Even though I’d been here almost a year, a lifetime elsewhere of expecting anything but was a hard habit to break. The town was mostly white, but I was far from the exception.
Fat raindrops splattered on the window and concrete outside. Even though dawn was on its way, the sky continued to darken.
“Hi, Eunice,” said Haley as she sat in the booth opposite. “Sorry I’m late.”
“That’s okay. I don’t have to be at the school for a little bit.”
Haley raised her hand to get the waitress’s attention. “Mary, can I get some toast and syrup, please… And some water.” She looked at me as an afterthought. “You eat?”
“I ate at home,” I said. Actually, I wasn’t hungry. The idea of talking with Ben’s little sister killed my appetite. I’d suffer the headache later.
She leaned forward. “Okay, let me get this out in the open right now. Enough of this small talk shit.”
“Okay,” I said. Uh-oh, this isn’t going to go well.
“I don’t like you and I have no real reason.” Haley blurted the words quickly and deliberately. I expected her to couch her words a bit but I found the directness liberating.
“No one says you have to,” I said, not knowing what else to say.
“I’m only home a few weeks and you and Jimmy are a thing.”
“I didn’t think you and Jimmy were together.”
“We weren’t. I mean, we had this relationship. A game.”
“I didn’t know. Jimmy never mentioned it. He just said you went along with him because Ben asked.”
“That’s true. But Jimmy and me, we fell into a pattern. He’s a great guy.”
“I know.”
“Of course you do. I just thought, I mean, I wanted there to be more to us and he did too. Maybe even more so.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I’m not right in the head, Eunice. I kept teasing him and then saying no. And then you came along and he chose you.”
“You’re a lot younger than Jimmy.”
“I get that. We just had a thing. I’m more pissed at Jimmy over it. Why couldn’t he just be honest about it?”
“Would you have left it at that?”
“Probably not.”
“I’m not breaking it off with Jimmy, Haley. What we have is special too.”
“I know. I’m just upset about it. Part of me loves him.”
“I can accept that. So long as you can accept that he’s moved on.”
“Like you and Ben?”
“That’s different.”
My mother always told me to never trust anyone. Of course, she used me as an ashtray too, so whatever. Still, putting any faith in Eunice proved more than a little difficult.
I came to the school to apologize among other things. Bury the hatchet, so to speak before we baled. Jimmy and I weren’t compatible. He wanted more from me than I could give but now that he met Eunice, I let the the green-eyed monster out to play. Stupid high school behavior.
The kids did their art thing while we chatted.
“I don’t want to fight with you, Haley.” Eunice folded her arms as she readied for a fight.
I didn’t take the bait. See? I can be a grown-up too. Instead, I said “Good. Me neither. You and Jimmy make sense. I’m too fucked up for a guy like him. Friends?”
“Friends.” She offered her hand and I took it and pulled in for a hug instead. Sure, it was laying it on a little thick, but I had a job to do. I promised Jimmy.
I stepped back and said “Listen, we gotta get out of here. Splitsville. Get gone-ski.”
Eunice looked at me as if I’d two heads and threw her hands up. “What are you talking about? I got a class to teach.”
I drew my fingers through my hair and spoke slowly. “Look, some bad shit is going down. I don’t know how much time we got. Ben’s gone to pick up Jimmy. We need to hurry.”
Folded arms again. So much for progress. “I’m not going anywhere, Haley. And neither is Jimmy.”
The classroom sat ground-floor with large windows along its length. Unseasonably warm for November, Eunice had most of them cranked open to let the breeze in.
I didn’t notice the first of the rats pour in before the kids started being bit.
I started yelling as the lockdown alarm sounded. Children raced to the door, now electronically locked and clawed at the knob as more rats covered the floor. They leapt at the children, biting and tearing at their necks.
The window in the middle of the room broke first without warning. Then the second. More rats.
The first child, a little girl, turned in under a minute from the start of the attack. This was new. Things went bad quickly.
Eunice and I kept kicking and tossing rats from our bodies. I knew we’d be overtaken soon. We weren’t faring any better than her students.
She picked up a yardstick and managed to bat and battle her way forward.
“I have to help the children,” she screamed.
“It’s too late for that.” I saw the supply closet. “Hurry. In here.”
The teacher wouldn’t budge. She kept swinging and lunging forward. Rats climbed her bare legs and I was glad to be wearing jeans. I grabbed her by her ponytail and yanked her towards the closet door as I opened it. I slammed it shut.
“Help me,” I said. “We need to barricade this door.”
She handed me a skipping rope from a bucket of recess toys. “Here, use this.”
I tied the knob to the metal shelf as quickly as I could. The kids smashed and banged at the door but the rope held.
Eunice looked at me with a mix of fear and sadness. “My babies,” she whimpered.
The power went out and plunged the room into darkness. At least the alarm bell stopped.
We huddled in the dark closet for what seemed like forever, our hearts pounding in our chests. The blood washed in my head, a tidal ebb and flow with each beat of endless waiting. My eyes hurt from squeezing them shut. I opened them slowly and all I saw was the dark-light static of the room. Flashes and fibers of light noise sparked in the black as my brain struggled to make sense of the dark. It made me dizzy.
My jaw ached from clenching and when I finally let my breath escape, the release flowed through me. I could feel the tingles and aches of muscles held too long in one position. How long were we here, hiding like frightened mice?
“Haley?” came a small voice from somewhere in the tiny room. “Are you okay?”
No, we wouldn’t. We’d never be okay. None of us. But, that wasn’t what Eunice wanted to hear. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. “You?”
“I’m scared.”
“No shit. Me too.”
I hunkered closest to the door listening. Eunice’s voice came from behind, probably under the shelves. Outside this room, the feral sounds of growling and feeding continued. At least the screaming had stopped, but now I could hear Eunice crying. I crawled, feeling my way, to where she sat curled up.
“How many kids in your class?” I asked.
“Seventeen,” she said. “Eight girls and nine boys.”
“Fourth grade, right?”
“Yeah.” She sniffed. “Today was an art day. Everyone was here. They love painting.”
I reached out and took her hands. They were cold. She trembled. This wasn’t a good sign. I’ve been on both sides of this equation before. No fucking way.
“Listen, Eunice.” I kept my voice low. “Are you injured anywhere? Did you get bit?”
“I- I don’t think so,” she said.
“Check yourself. All over. If you’re bleeding, they’ll smell you and find us. If you’re bitten, we have a bigger problem. Do it. Do it now!”
“I’m sorry, Haley.”
“Don’t be sorry. Just be alert. Stand up.”
We checked each other over for injury as best we could by feel. Nothing. Maybe she was just getting sick. Just what I needed. The room was hot and the air thick.
I moved back to the door to listen. Eunice followed me. She reached out for my hand again and I let her take it. It didn’t matter if she was with Jimmy instead of me. All that did was that seventeen little monsters scampered about on the other side of this door. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I was clenching my jaw again and I wanted the ache.
“Ow, Haley. You’re hurting me.”
I let go of her hand. “I’m sorry,” I said, muttering.
“That’s okay. What are we going to do?” asked Eunice.
“We’re going to get out of this tiny shit-hole, that’s what. This closet. This school. This fucking town.”
“What about Ben and Jimmy?”
What about them indeed. They were late.
It was getting quieter outside, but no quiet enough. I had an idea.
“Hey, Eunice,” I asked. “Are there any matches in here? Birthday crap or anything like that?”
“I think so. There’s a lighter in the first-aid kit. Some candles too.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Uh-uh.”
“What are you waiting for, girl?”
We lit a lone candle and I took stock of what we had. If there was anything I learned from Eddie, it was to improvise. Most of the crap in here was paper and pencils. I set Eunice to work sharpening. I had no idea if we’d need five inch pikes or not, but it kept her busy and out of my hair. Fucking princess.
I found a couple cans of compressed air dusters and some tempura powder paint. I grabbed a handful of fuzzy pipe-cleaners and some construction paper. Arts and crafts was never so deadly.
“Are you ready, Eunice?” I asked.
Her eyes glinted in the candlelight and I knew that she was. From somewhere, she summoned strength. I’d be more impressed if she didn’t manage to die in the next ten minutes.
“Yes,” she said and tightened her grip on the double-pointed pencil spear she brandished. The first-aid kit was attached to her waist with a makeshift ‘magazine’ of HB No.2s at the ready.
I took one last look at my contraption and hoped to Hell it’d work. It’s not like I could test it within the confines of the closet. I slung a cloth book-bag of duster cans and paint over my shoulder. With one last look to my partner, I blew out the candle.
My thumb flicked the striker of the lighter and the spark gave birth to yet another flame. I studied its flicker and playful dance, the power in my hand calling me forward to unleash its intention. The smell of butane and carbon, the sound of my heart thrumming in my throat, made my head swoon as I counted: one, two three.
“Let’s do this.”
I quietly cut the rubber skipping rope holding the door closed and pocketed the utility knife??” always a handy piece of kit. Slowly, Eunice eased the door inward and she stayed at the swinging end of it. I kept my post at the frame and pointed my weapon outward, one thumb keeping the flame and the other on the duster’s trigger.
It was twilight with enough light to see the shimmering shadows of the children huddles against the far wall. It was a strange configuration, all facing away from us. They made the teeth-chattering growling noise that I remembered as we gained the front of the room.
I pointed for Eunice to take position at the interior side of the classroom closest to the door. We had no idea if the panic-lock was still in place with the power out. I took the open window side, expecting it to be littered with rats, bits of rat and other remains. It was smeared dark with blood and black gore, but no bodies. I shuddered to think what happened to them.
One of Eunice’s pencils dropped out of its holster and tumbled to the floor in a deafening clatter. The small child horde turned around to face the sound, saw us and screamed en masse.
The smell of hair burning is an interesting odor, almost delicious in its savoriness. It quickly overpowered the stink of burning paint. No one was more surprise than me that my contraption worked. Flaming tempura paint sprayed forth from my hands and in an instant, the first three little freaks were ablaze. Then four more.
Of course, the problem was that we now had screaming fireballs on legs to contend with. I really was a short-bus kinda girl.
“Eunice,” I yelled. “Over here.” I pointed to the open window. The chaos in the room stood as more than enough distraction as one kid bumped into another, igniting like candles on a birthday cake.
The teacher was engaged with a couple of the non-torched variety and doing surprisingly well. File that one in the books. Pencil pikes to the head. Got it. Eunice looked at me and understood what I had in mind.
I put my paint-gun on the ledge and hauled myself up. Eunice stood taller and gained the window threshold easier. I fired a blast inward to spark up the rest of the class before turning my attention to the sidewalk and parking lot below. Where the flying blue fuck were Ben and Jimmy?
No sooner thought, they boys rounded the corner in a squeal of tires and the roar of a gunning engine. Blood was smeared across the windshield and passenger door. It was a wonder they could see. Eunice and I climbed in the back as Jimmy turned on the wipers.
“Good thing I topped up the fluids,” Ben said.
“About time you boys showed up,” I said angrily.
“Class dismissed,” said Eunice as she wiped blood and grime from her face with the sleeve of her sweater.
“Buckle up, ladies,” said Jimmy before stomping on the gas and speeding for the edge of town.
We’d only been in the closet for an hour or so, but in that time, the world changed. Or at least our little corner. Several building were on fire along Main. A car had crashed into a hydrant, spraying water everywhere but on the flames. We saw people screaming and running. A pregnant woman lay in the middle of the street, table for four. Her dead eyes followed me as we drove past. I rolled down the window and threw up, only managing to get the window up in time as we clipped what used to me Mayor Thompson. Never liked that guy. Always stared at me funny in the bar.
Ben handed me some drive-thru napkins. “It started at the medical clinic, just like you predicted, Haley.”
“Once they broke out of the ward, it was game over. No one had a chance,” said Jimmy.
“What about the Sheriff? Are Andy and Carla okay?” asked Eunice.
Ben shook his head and turned away. They were good friends. We grew up with them.
Jimmy said, “Well, that’s it for this burg. Where to?”
“To Vegas, boys. This girl needs a plane.”
The sun roasted us as we motored down the highway. The jeep was hot and I felt sticky with sweat. I’d just woken up to Ben leaning on me. He’d been driving for most of the last day and a half, refusing to give up the wheel. It had caught up with him this morning when he dozed off at the wheel. Jimmy reached across and grabbed the wheel in time before we went careening off into the ditch.
Jimmy and Eunice were up front, holding hands across the console. She played absently with his thumb. I don’t know why I noticed.
I rolled down the window and let the hot dry air blow me in the face. Moving air, it was the illusion of cool. What Jimmy and I had or didn’t have. That was an illusion too. What was going on. The running. The fear. I wanted that to be a figment of my imagination too.
The country side rolled by and I turned my head to see what we left behind. The air tugged at my hair and I released my ponytail, letting it flow past my face. The ends tickled my nose and stung my cheeks. I didn’t care. This was all make believe.
“You okay, Haley?” asked Ben.
I pulled my head in and rolled up the window, leaving a crack to whistle in the outside. If nothing else, it’d drown out the chatter from the front seat.
“I’m fine, bro,” I said. “Why do you keep asking me that?”
“It’s my job,” he said and patted my leg. I hated that.
“No it’s not. Not any more. I’m a big girl.”
“I’m worried about you, Haley. You’re different.”
“How so?” Nothing to see here. I’m just the same old Haley. Move along.
“I don’t know. There just seems to be more going on in your head than you let on.”
“Just the three of us up here.” I pointed to my temple. “Me, myself and I.”
“You’re not alone in this.” Ben’s face was so wrought with worry, it came across as melodramatic. It made me mad.
“Why? Just because you say so? Fuck, Ben. I don’t need another hero in my life.”
“Stop,” he said, but wasn’t looking at me, rather at something over my shoulder. “Stop, Jimmy.”
Jimmy pulled over the shoulder and Ben got out. He ran back down the gravel and stopped, looking across the field. I tried to follow his line of sight with my eyes and couldn’t pick it out.
I hopped out and jogged over to Ben. I heard Jimmy and Eunice follow. Ben kept staring, never taking his eyes off whatever caught his attention.
“What do you see, Ben?” I asked. All I saw was grasslands and a string of trees in the distance. Ranch land.
“You don’t see it? It’s right over there?” He pointed.
This time when he pointed, I picked it out easily. A moving cloud of dust on the horizon.
“What do you think it is?” I asked. “Is it coming here?”
“I think so. And I’m not sure if we should be here when it does.”
“Jesus Christ,” said Ben. “Why can’t we stick to the plan and stay together?”
I dumped the pile of winnings from the hardware store at my brother’s feet. “Look, we did our part,” I said. “Got flares, water and duct tape. Think that’ll hold the rad together?”
“And I grabbed a whole bag of stuff from the pharmacy,” said Eunice.
I looked in the bag and rummaged. Most of it was pretty useless unless we were treating an army for digestive upset. The antidepressants were intriguing. I bet Eddie could cook something sweet. “Feldiene, Codiene, Naproxin and some headache meds. That’s have to do. No antibiotics?”
Eunice shook her head. “Cleaned out. This stuff I picked out from under the body of an old guy. He must have had a stroke in the panic. Weird that he didn’t turn.”
“That is weird,” said Ben.
“Where’s Jimmy?” asked Eunice, looking around.
We’d managed to limp the jeep into whatever this town was called. Didn’t matter. Just another spot on the map that was so small, the Zs moved on. Ben had this theory that they’d start moving in larger groups like locusts. The thought didn’t give me the warm fuzzies.
“I saw him head towards the bakery,” I said and pointed.
“I’d kill for a fresh loaf of bread,” said Eunice.
“Actually, kill?” asked Ben. “Damn, that’s hard-core, girl.”
I laughed. “A good piece of steak. Now, that’d be awesome.”
“I don’t think I could eat meat again,” said Eunice. “Not for a while.”
“My stomach makes no such distinction,” said Ben. “Part of me thinks, the Zs have it lucky.”
I punched him in the shoulder. “That’s gross, bro. Not funny.”
“No, it’s pretty funny, Haley,” said Eunice.
Ben taped the radiator hose again and topped it up with water. “Good as new,” he said and slammed down the hood.
“I think our standard of ‘good’ has lowered considerably, bro.”
“Perhaps, but I’ll take it.”
We watched Jimmy saunter across the parking lot carrying a bakery box with a big loopy grin on his face.
Eunice smiled back and I made a gagging sign to Ben who smirked and swatted me across the side of my head.
“You remembered,” she said.
“Sure did. Drove halfway across the country for this moment,” he said proudly and opened up the box. “Happy birthday.”
He’d decorated the cake himself and to be sure, Jimmy would never make it as a pastry chef. We cut the cake into four pieces using my handy blade. I had to clean it first, but no one seemed to mind the wait.
“Thank you, Jimmy,” said Eunice as she licked the icing off each finger in an provocative fashion. Jimmy never blinked.
Ben reached over and dolloped icing on my nose. I wiped it off with my thumb and made to fling it back at him. I looked to my friends and was happy to share this moment with them. I licked the icing off my thumb instead.
It was a rare mild night and the moon was bright. We were at the foothold of the rolling hills of west Texas, miles away from anyone and reasonably safe from an attack. The last spec of civilization we visited stood completely abandoned. There wasn’t much to it, even smaller than Ambrose. A gas station of the beaten path and little else. At least we were able to stock up on canned goods and soda.
Eunice score marshmallows and I carefully turned mine over the fire, watching it swell and turn golden.
“So, what’s your story, Ben?” asked Jimmy through a mouthful of goo.
“The usual story. Shitty childhood. Joined the Army. Learned to fly and fix engines. Went to Iraq. People died. And now I’m back.”
“Pretty bleak, dude.”
“Not really. At first I told myself I came some for Haley.” He looked at me across the fire. “But I think I was ready to come home. I was done playing GI Joe.”
“What do you want with life? The apocalypse notwithstanding.”
“The plan? None really. When Uncle Jim passed, I reopened his garage. Haley was gone so I waited.”
“And when I came back?”
“We weren’t finished with Ambrose. And it wasn’t done with us. I just wanted us to disappear. So much for that.” Ben looked up at Jimmy. “What’s your history, bra?”
“Salt Lake City.”
“Mormon?”
“Nah, Pops was in the copper mine. My mom died when I was born. It was just me and him. We watched the Olympics together. I joined him in the Pit right out of high school. Good times.”
“What happened?”
“Heart attack. Two years ago. I had nothing to keep me and hated to work every day doing the same thing Pops did. If I didn’t leave, I’d die there. Been on the road ever since.”
“What keeps you going?”
“No idea. The music. Not wanting to be alone.” He looked at me then at Eunice and smiled, a smile that could have been mine. “Now it’s my best girls who wake up Little Jimmy in the morning.” He jumps up and squats between Eunice and I, squeezing hugs from our shoulders. “And if Little Jimmy can find a reason to keep on keepin’ on, then I guess I’ll do the same.” He kissed the side of my head the Eunice fully on the lips, lingering.
“I’d say get a room, but that’s optimistic,” I said.
“We manage,” said Eunice and pressed her forehead to Jimmy’s. Ben watched Eunice then me. Ben and I shared many things. A broken heart of our own making was one. We manage too.
“What about you, Eunice?” I asked. “Why the fuck would you want to teach elementary school?”
“I always wanted to, I guess,” she said. “I don’t have any folks that I know of. Just one more black girl in the System that nobody wanted.”
“You were never adopted?”
“Nuh-uh. I graduated from an Episcopalian orphanage and school in Chicago. Saint Anne’s. Made it to state college on a scholarship.”
A strange thought formed and I let it play out. “What are you running from, Eunice?” I asked. “Or is it who?”
She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “How’d you know, Haley?”
Jimmy pulled her face to his and kissed he mouth. “Know what, Eunice?”
Ben was in the dark. “What am I missing?”
“Eunice is missing her baby,” I said, stuck another marshmallow on my stick and slumped, waiting for peace and a golden brown hue.
Eunice vomited again. She’d been sick all night and the jeep smelled awful. Ben was driving again and we decided to pull into the next small town we came across. Find a drug store that hadn’t yet been looted. The burg we found wasn’t that small at all. The outskirts of Tucumcari, New Mexico I think, reminded me of a television show I used to watch when I was a kid. I can’t remember which one. We past the usual tourist traps, attempting to capitalize on old Route 66 nostalgia and western wannabes.
The mountain in the distance was impressive, but finding the entire downtown core on fire was more so. How does a fire like this get so big? As usual, the townsfolk were gone. We stopped in front of a CVS that hadn’t caught.
“Who’s going to stay with Eunice?” asked Ben.
“No one,” said Eunice. “I’m going with you. I’m not dead yet.”
Jimmy and Ben exchanged looks. When the Hell did they get to be leaders? Men.
“You’re sure about this, Eunice?” I asked and felt her forehead. The fever was down for the moment.
“It’s just an infection. I want to help. Even if it’s guard duty.”
“Fine,” said Ben. “Let’s get in and get out. I’ll head for the pharmacy cage and grab everything that ends in ‘illan’ and ‘otin’. Just like last time. And whatever else I can find, of course.”
“Haley and I will sweep the store for Zs,” said Jimmy. He looked at Eunice and smirked. “Eunice has our back, right babe?”
She slammed in a new clip to her pistol in response. It amazed me the skills we’ve learned. Even the most pacifistic have found their niche and a certain amount of strength.
Ben and I walked up the middle aisle while Jimmy covered me from behind at the front. Ben continued past me to the pharmacy counter and kicked in the door to the dispensing room. Jimmy and I walked the opposing aisle ends of the store. We’d see each other down a long aisle of stomach remedies then disappear behind the end-caps only to emerge again on either end of the feminine hygiene lane.
The farthest aisle was grocery and when we hit there, the smell of sour milk and rotten eggs was overpowering. Littered along the floor were dozens of dead rats, their bodies swollen and bursting with wriggling maggots. There’d be very little good eating here and I joined the power puke club.
Sitting on the floor at the back corner of the freeze lane was a zombie that looked like she ran the cosmetics counter. Well-dressed, young and wearing a store name tag. The makeup looked strange on her face giving it a mannequin look to it. She looked up from her mouthful of rat and screamed at us, lumbering to her feet. I didn’t think a Z could run in heels. Learn something new everyday. Jimmy’s shotgun set her flying backwards, re-dead. The noise of the blast made my ears ring.
Ben’s panicked voice rose above the echoing buzz. “Time to get the fuck out of here. Storeroom’s full of hungry Zs. Fucking convention back there.”
The four of us huddled in the space between the front cash and the front windows, thankful for the steel bars on them. A dozen zombies were outside, pounding on the glass. It was so loud, I thought the window close to breaking. It might have just been me. The gunfight inside the store threatened to rupture my eardrums. I could swear that I felt blood running down the sides of my head.
We fired everything we had, being as judicial with our rounds as we could. One bullet per zombie limit. That’s the rules. By and large, I think we did well considering. We’d finished with the inside horde in just enough time for the group of angry undead townsfolk to shatter the largest pane, raining safety glass cubes??” small miracles, one of the benefits of an overly litigious society.
“I’m out,” said Ben.
“So am I,” said Eunice.
I released my clip and let the heat of it burn my hand. “Same,” I said. “Jimmy?”
“One shell. That’s it.”
“Fuck,” we all said at once. We looked at each other and laughed in spite of ourselves.
“So… how’s this going to work? Any ideas?” asked Jimmy.
I stood up and walked around in a circle, chewing on my nails.
“Stop that, Haley,” said Ben.
I stuck my tongue out at him. “Screw you, bro. I got an idea.”
“It probably involves fire,” he said to Jimmy.
“What’s wrong with that? Don’t be slagging on the flame. Has fire ever steered us wrong?”
“You really want me to answer that?”
Jimmy said, “Stop bickering. Jesus, you two… Horde of the undead outside. Remember?”
“I’m not sure, Haley,” said Eunice. “Flaming zombies didn’t go over well at the school.”
She had me there. It’s not a great go-to idea. “Okay, okay. I admit it. Homegrown napalm might not be that great although we do have glycerin and all the fixings here…”
Ben spoke up. “We could make explosive charges. Use them as shock explosives. All we want to do is get to the jeep in one piece. The jeep still is in one piece, right?”
I poked my head up and peeked. A zombie smiled a lip-less grin at me through the window. I looked past and saw our ride unharmed. Apparently, we were tastier. “Yup. Still there.”
“Okay. I saw some saltpeter and a few other compounding stuff,” said Ben. “Eunice, we need gauze and cotton. Jimmy, hand-cleaner, perfume and cologne.”
They scrambled over the corpses and down the aisles on their missions.
“Do you know how to make this shit, Ben?” I asked. Maybe they covered this in the military.
“Some,” he said. “Urban combat training included some IID work.”
“IID?”
“Improvised Incendiary Device. Pipe-bombs, Molotov cocktails.”
“Got it. I think we’re a good team, Ben. The Internet is a wonderful thing.”
“Dare I ask?”
“Nope. I wouldn’t.”
Jimmy and Eunice returned and dumped their findings on the floor. “You’ll never guess what we found,” he said and shoved a box of fireworks forward with his feet.
I held one up and smiled. “We gotta work quickly,” I said.
I threw the first string of crackers out the broken window and reveled in the zombie panic. One lost an arm for some odd reason, but effect was achieved. The door was clear.
Ben opened it and stood proudly on the step, lit and tossed the gauze-wrapped perfume bottle. It exploded in a spray of flame. Bits of burning gauze littered the small lot. He lobbed three more and cleared a path.
“Hurry, Jimmy. Get Eunice to the jeep,” he shouted.
I let them get in front of me. The zombies that Ben scattered came around behind them as expected. I was ready for them, just inside the store. One by one, the Zs entered the store. I ran to the grocery section and they followed. When I figured I had most of the horde inside with me, I lit the hand sanitizer I sprayed allover aisle three. The blaze erupted quicker than I expected. Bags of corn chips exploded with the sudden heat.
Sprinting along the rear of the store, I ignited the other aisles as I passed. At aisle six, I grabbed a can of hairspray. At number nine, I scored a medical cane. The roar of flames and burning zombies behind me pushed me forward, forward away from the heat and away from the doom.
Aisle twelve. The end of the line. This was the weak point in my plan. I ran, skidding past the cosmetics display, knocking hundreds of tiny jars on the floor with my cane. I spared a glance back and say zombies tripping and falling. At the front end of the aisle, ten feet away, lumbered the biggest Z I’d seen. Who was this guy? A wrestler? Fuck.
I hung the cane on my wrist and fumbled in my pocket for my lighter. In frustration, I threw the cane at the behemoth. It clanged off him like I’d thrown a marshmallow. Behind me the growling grew louder. In front of me, the giant screamed at me approached, hands outstretched.
After a couple burns on my thumb, I managed to spark the lighter and held the flame at arms length. The hairspray fireball in front of me set the monster back and I turned quickly to shoot flame at the rest of the crowd.
As expected, I now had a flaming horde of zombies to contend with so I faced forward and sprayed my way clear, surprised that the large zombie retreated. What was that? Fear? Could zombies feel? What did this mean?
At the doorway, I did the only thing that a girl like me could do and directed my torch to the chemical fuse I’d set. Oh yeah, I was made for this. The fuse led the heap of fireworks we’d piled just inside the door.
I turned my back and ran for the jeep as fast as I could.
“Get in, Haley! Hurry!” yelled Jimmy. The back door was open and I dove inside.
Ben stamped on the pedal and the jeep spun out of the lot. I’d barely got the door closed before the friendly neighborhood CVS exploded.
“Jesus, Haley,” said Ben. “Was that really necessary?”
I stuck my lower lip out and held my chin high. “Yes. Yes it was.”
Ben and Jimmy siphoned gas from the string of cars lined up in front of the church. It wasn’t ideal but functioning gas stations became rare as the power grid failed. We had to venture further into towns.
Eunice and I stood guard. It was so strange without bird song on such a sunny morning. Just the constant buzz of insects enjoying their feast.
The sign out front read ‘Abandon All Hope.’
“Dante,” said Eunice, almost mumbling.
“What?” I asked.
She pointed. “The sign. It’s from Dante’s Inferno. Not scripture.”
“What’s it mean?”
“It’s supposed to read ‘Abandon all hope ye who enter here.’ Maybe they wanted to deter visitors.”
“Zombies can’t read.”
She shrugged as a loud crashing sound came from within the church.
We climbed the steps with our guns held high and close. Sweat dripped down the back of my neck and tickled the small of my back. I couldn’t remember an autumn this warm.
I aimed my weapon squarely at the door as Eunice pushed it open from the side. The rotten stench hit us in the face with a wallop.
“Careful, ladies,” said Jimmy. “We can smell that from down here.”
“No worse than what you let out in the car,” said Eunice.
“Zing,” said Ben and slapped Jimmy on the shoulder before resuming the task at hand.
I smirked at Eunice. “He deserved that.”
She pointed the muzzle of her gun inside. “Shall we?”
“Lets.”
It was a sell-out congregation at the church. Every pew was full. I guess the End of Days really helps drive attendance. It was strange though. Everyone was dead but none of them had turned Z. Made no sense.
We walked down the aisles, past the throng dressed in their Sunday best. There was no struggle here.
“What do you think happened here, Haley?” asked Eunice. “Suicide.”
I nodded. “Has to be. I wouldn’t drink the wine if I were you.”
“Noted. Too bad. We’re out.”
We’d made it to the front where the minister and his boys sat slouched in their chairs. The altar was set for Communion.
“Reminds me of growing up,” said Eunice.
“Your church did the suicide thing too? Cool.” I couldn’t help it. This bullshit made no sense to me. “Sorry.”
Eunice looked around. “What do you think made that noise?”
I pointed to the door behind the altar. “Let’s check back there.”
We stepped into the small anteroom and found a staircase leading to a basement. I shrugged my shoulders and we went down. The door at the bottom was locked from the outside. I unlatched it an we went inside. It was both a Sunday school and a bloodbath.
Children and bits of children were strewn about the floor amid glue, glitter and construction paper. Banging and clanging came from the kitchenette. I mimed for Eunice to head to the open serving window while I went for the kitchen door.
A lone Z wandered the small kitchen, unable to figure out how to get out.
“Survival of the deadest,” I said as the zombie caught Eunice’s scent and lunged. It’s head exploded from the round I put in it. Zombie blood and brain splattered her face. “I win.”
“Gross, Haley,” she said and wiped her face.
Jimmy drove too fast for my liking, but under the circumstances, I didn’t argue even if we didn’t use headlights. Ben was in the front with him acting as navigator, leaving us two girls in the back. They’d been trading shift driving for hours. It felt like morning would never come.
Trees whizzed by in the moonlit dark as we flew down the highway. Eunice cuddled up to me under the car blanket Ben kept in his truck. She snored lightly as she slept. None of us slept much these day. Being sick, she hit her wall. I was a little bit jealous; I couldn’t shut it off. My mind kept racing through the last few days.
I knew things were coming to a head back east. Hell, I ran away from that shit-show. I thought that coming back home would be safe. Mother was long gone and I missed my brother. Ben always protected me. He still did. The news was full of talk and panic. Virus this and quarantine that. All that lay many miles away.
And then last week, shit got real.
Ben worked late leaving me to hand out the Halloween treats. Eunice and Jimmy were at a party so I was happy with something to do. Besides, Ben said he’d bring some beer home later. That’s my bro.
Visitors petered out after a while. I turned out the light at nine, closed the curtains and sunk into the couch with my legs curled up and tucked into the cushions. I flipped through the channels, past the grisly news and found a movie to watch, some zombie flick. What can I say? I’m a glutton for punishment.
The first bird to hit the front window scared the shit out of me. It smacked with a loud thud that I swore cracked the pane. I opened the curtain to be greeted by blood and feathers smeared at eye-level. Then a second bird, a crow I think, hit the window at the same spot. I yelped and jumped back, nearly falling over the coffee table.
I went to the front door and stepped onto the stoop as dozens of birds flew chaotically in the front yard. What the Hell were birds doing out after dark? They circled the streetlight and then flew headlong into the house. Another one hit the window and another pinged off the mailbox beside me. Another three made a beeline for me and I dashed back in to the house and managed to get the door closed, but not before a jet-black crow made it past me.
It flew around the house in a fluttering panic of feathers and squawking, knocking over lamps and anything not nailed down. I grabbed the broom and swung at the bird, cursing a blue streak. I caught a wing but not enough to stop the thing. The handle broke on the kitchen counter leaving me with a three-foot pointed spike to flail about with.
The crow took offense to being swatted and screamed an awful sound at me before diving straight at me. I’d already dealt with flaming zombie monkeys in my time and no dumb-ass bird was going to get the best of me.
I thrust upward with my pike and caught the crow in the breast. My arm continued its arc, pivoting pike and bird firmly down on the counter. Blood squirted up my arm on my face as the bird thrashed and then stopped.
Ben came home as I was stuffing the carcass into a garbage bag. He was wide-eyed when he say the blood on my face.
“It’s not mine,” I said, pointing to the bag with feathers sticking out.
“Good,” he said and let out his breath. “The whole yard is littered with dead birds.”
“Are any still flying?”
“No,” he said. “What the bloody blue blazes happened?”
I shrugged my shoulders and tossed him some bags for cleaning up the mess.
A few days later we learned that this scene was being played out all over the place. Swarms of birds, mainly gulls and crows, were attacking houses and people for no apparent reason. They’d either die crashing into something or simply drop from the sky.
And then things started to get really weird.
“Hey, kiddo. You all right?”
I looked up and Ben was staring at me, concerned. I wish he wouldn’t keep doing that. At the same time, I’m glad he did.
“Yeah. I was just thinking about the birds.”
“The birds?” He shifted around to face me more comfortably.
I extricated myself from Eunice’s tangle of limbs and sat up. “They kept circling and crashing. The wildlife guys said it had to do with some electrical field from an exposed power line.”
He nodded. “That didn’t make sense to me either. I mean, that’s a lot of houses with bad wiring.”
Jimmy piped in from behind the wheel. “They were just making some shit up to shut us up.”
“Probably. I don’t doubt it for a minute,” said Ben.
“They reminded me of the monkeys,” I said and stared out the window. No trees now. Just gray rock and dirt.
“The rabid ones from the lab you escaped from?” asked Jimmy.
I glared at him in the mirror and folded my arms. “They weren’t rabid.”
Jimmy smiled and pressed. “I can’t believe they just let you go after the fire.”
“I’m just glad you came home, Haley,” said Ben. He knew that Jimmy treaded on a nerve.
“Me too,” I said and mouthed a thank you to Ben.
We drove along in silence for several miles. Dawn started to creep into the night. Finally.
Ben broke the quiet. “So, why only pigeons, crows and gulls? Why not sparrows?”
I thought about it for a minute, biting my lip. “Maybe because they’re like people. They follow us. Dogs, cats, rats, and raccoons. The warnings went out for them.”
Jimmy said. “I haven’t seen a dog in a very long time.”
“Me neither,” said Ben. “Nor any of those other critters.”
“They all die?” Jimmy asked looking at me, for some reason.
Ben answered. “Seems that way. The birds too. Just drop from the sky.”
“But not all of them,” I said. “Check the radio, bro.”
Ben nodded again and turned to fiddle with the dials. “No. Just the people birds.” Static filled the car.
Jimmy winced at the noise. “Give it up, Ben. What does that mean for us? If we get the virus, will we die off?”
Ben twisted the knob to the off position and stuck the useless radio. “Not before causing a bunch of damage.”
“It might not work that way,” I said.
“Why do you say that?” asked Ben.
“The monkeys. They didn’t drop dead.”
“What do you mean?”
“In the lab. They just kept coming. I swear they were dead and they just kept coming.”
“You’re kidding, right?” asked Jimmy.
I lost myself to my own thoughts again. There was something else. Not the monkeys, but the doctors. People had to die first. That was it. Virus, my ass.
“How far to Vegas?” I asked.
Jimmy looked at his watch. “A couple hours. We’ll get there by lunch.”
“Nellis. I want to try Nellis first. Then Creech.”
“Don’t want to play the tables?” teased Ben.
“Not on your life,” I said.
Eunice let out a rumbling snore and slept on. The rest of us laughed in spite of ourselves.
The closer we got to Vegas on the I15, the more abandoned cars we saw on the highway. Most were off the road, but they grew thicker and thicker as we proceeded. By the time we hit North Las Vegas Boulevard, it was impassable. No drivers, living or otherwise were in sight. We were alone and on-foot. The sun rose high overhead, baking us as we hiked in.
Eunice didn’t look all that good, but she was a trooper. Ben led and Jimmy brought the rear with the rifles Ben scored from a pair of cruisers. No luck finding water.
The gates at the Nellis Air Force Base hung open at a weird angle. Bits of clothing and charred flesh hung on the barbed wire. No one was at the gate house. I took a peek inside. Not so empty after all, the soldier had been dead for a while. Half his head was missing. Guess he checked out early on the apocalypse. Lucky bastard. I pried the pistol from his hand and rifled his pockets for ammo.
I felt better with three of us armed.
“Hurry up, Haley,” said Ben, looking nervously around for unfriendly folk.
Vegas is baked, dude,” said Jimmy. “Where is everyone?”
“Probably at Denny’s, having the lunch special. Brains.” No one laughed. I guess humor wasn’t on the menu either.
The path ahead was an array of buildings, garages and hangers with about a zillion places for Zs to be milling about out of sight. We skirted between the buildings in a leapfrog fashion that Ben coordinated. I’d cover Jimmy while he went ahead with Eunice and Ben would guard the rear. Then I’d take the rear while Ben caught up to Jimmy and Eunice. Then Ben would cover me while I caught up to them all. It made for slow going, but we felt safe. My brother’s mad skills in urban warfare came in handy.
“We need water,” I said and nodded to Eunice. “She does too.”
Ben agreed. “We’ll check this barracks here. Jimmy, you stay out here on the steps with Eunice. Cool your heels and soak in the shade. Haley and I will head in.”
“You don’t have to ask me twice,” he said and kissed Eunice’s forehead. She’d passed out again.
Ben and I climbed the short flight of steps into the barracks. The power was out on base and the dim light gave an eerie glow to the floor. Rows of bunks left and right granted the space a certain visual symmetry.
“Anybody here?” I said loudly, my voice echoing throughout the large open room.
Ben opened up a footlocker and grabbed a canteen. “We gotta hurry, Haley. I don’t have a good feeling about this place.”
I cracked open another locker and we headed for the washroom at the center of the building. We heard water running. Showers. I place my finger to my lips and Ben nodded. The shower room had no door, just open brick partitions.
Ben went first and doubled back with a dumbass grin on his face. “Look,” he said. “You can do the honors.”
I shot him my annoyed look and went in. Blood was smeared all over the communal shower walls and I made out at least four separate bodies on the floor, all naked. The winning zombie, also naked, wobbled back and forth between shower heads like a ball caught in the bumpers of a pinball game. The sensors kept turning on and off as he passed each one. With the power out, it was cold as well as damp.
I snapped the safety back on my pistol and put it away, hauling out my favorite blade instead. The tiled floor was slippery beneath my feat between the water, soap and blood. Apparently naked zombies neither care about shrinkage not suffer such a malady. His johnson rotted off already. I kinda felt bad for the guy and changed my mind, and put a bullet in the poor bastard’s head instead.
Ben and I found a couple bottles of water and Eunice started to come around. After a while, we continued on out way.
We made it to the other side of the base without further incident. The airstrip lay between us and the hangers. They looked bright, white against the sand. I hated being exposed walking in the middle of the runway. But at least, I’d see them coming.
I looked up at the blazing sun as we crept across the tarmac. Ben took point and I kept rear guard. Jimmy had to prop Eunice up and practically carry her. We were running short on time. The sweat dripped in my eyes making them sting. I wondered when I’d last taken a shower. I couldn’t remember. Stupid zombies will smell us a mile off.
The thin shadow of the hanger offered a mild cooling but I felt nauseous just the same. Jimmy and Eunice held up a wall. Fucking useless. The main hanger bay was open and Ben and I pointed out gun into the dark. It remained quiet.
“You ready?” he asked low and steady.
“Let’s do this,” I said and together we entered, Ben looking at ten o’clock and me at two.
We walked that way along the length of the large plane, not seeing anyone moving, dead or alive. Blood was smeared along the side of the fuselage. A fuel truck lay toppled on its side. The operator, what remained anyway, was sprayed in pieces, ripped apart where he sat.
“Jesus,” I said. “I guess he’s not gonna make it.”
Ben looked at me strangely. He didn’t get my humor. I missed Eddie. All we had to go was get to New York. He’d know what to do about Eunice. Assuming she made it.
My brother pointed to a set of rooms at the back of the bay. “You got this?”
I nodded. Of course I did. “You check the bird. Have you ever flown a plane this size?”
“An old Herc like this? Oh yeah. Easy peasy, kiddo.” He gave me a macho smirk.
Asshole.
I kept both hands on the pistol and walked forward in an open stance. What I’d give for a flashlight. I pushed open the door with my foot and the stench made my eyes water. High windows lit the space and I saw the heap of bodies, a dozen or more. I couldn’t tell.
“I found the crew,” I yelled over my shoulder.
A screeching growl came from the corner as I caught a glimpse of movement. This bastard moved fast. He was on me in a second and knocked me over, but not before I buried a round in his head.
“You okay, sis?” yelled Ben from the other side of the plane’s wing.
“Yup,” I said. Just catching a few Z’s.
“That’s pretty funny, actually.”
“Thanks, I do try,” I said as I fired another shot into the another lumbering heap. I checked the rest of the space and the adjacent lunchroom. I found a couple gallons of water. Always useful.
When I got back to the front of the plane, I saw Ben through the cockpit window busily flicking dials and checking things. We might get this plan off the ground yet.
“How do we get on this hunk of junk anyway?” I yelled. The plane was low to the ground, but not that low.
Ben disappeared and the side door opened. He lowered a steel framed ladder. Makes sense. I climbed up and handed off the water.
He took them and said “Go get the lovebirds, will ya? I’m about to spark this up. If the noise doesn’t draw attention, nothing will.”
I nodded and hopped down to see Jimmy running full-tilt, practically dragging Eunice with his arm around her waist. A rather angry looking mob of unfriendlies followed him.
“Get on the fucking plane,” yelled Ben from the door. “We are leaving.”
I hung nearly upside down from the ladder rungs with my feet locked in when Ben started the plane. It coasted forward immediately and I thought I’d fall. Jimmy and Eunice were still a few yards away, the horde’s screaming drowned out by the roar of the engines.
“Hurry,” I yelled at Jimmy.
“You don’t have to remind me, Haley. Take her.” He swung Eunice forward like a ragdoll and I caught her by the arm and pulled. She’d lost so much weight, but I couldn’t pull her up. It was all I could do to hold on.
“I’m going to drop her!”
“Hang on, Haley,” said Jimmy as he jogged beside the plane, getting closer to the oncoming mass of dead folk.
Ben appeared at the door and grabbed Eunice and pulled her inside. “Jump, Jimmy.”
I laced my fingers over my head to make a step-hold and Jimmy launched himself above me. I thought my hands would break. My knuckles scrapped the concrete floor as I hung helpless, to tired to haul my self up. The growling was all around me as the plane taxied out of the hanger, putting me in Zombie Central.
Head exploded around me as Jimmy fired, striking every mark. The next moment, I was on the floor of the plane with Jimmy staring at me and Ben closing the door. The plane was still moving.
I rolled my neck over and asked “Who’s flying the plane?”
Ben said, “Man, do I have to do everything around here?” and trotted up to the cockpit.
I followed him, wincing at what had to be a billion pulled muscles. I pulled myself into the copilot’s seat and watched the spectacle unfold as the Hercules taxied forward. The assembled group of zombies turned the tarmac into some weird rave Halloween beach party. Where the Hell did they all come from? They pelted off the outside of the fuselage like hail in a bad storm. Some got haircuts or worse from the props.
Ben tried the radio. Nobody home in the tower. I guessed we were cleared for take-off. We thundered down the runway, picking up speed and outrunning our pursuers. No Olympians in the Zombiverse.
With a jolt we rose into the air and I felt my ears pop. “Nice job, bro.”
“A compliment from Haley? Better jot this one down.” I really did love his smile.
“So… do we have enough fuel?” I asked.
“That depends on how far we’re headed,” he said. On second thought, I really did hate that smile.
I punched him in the shoulder. “New York, asshole.”
“It was good while it lasted,” he said as he rubbed his arm. “Relax, sis. We’ll make it to the Big Apple. Probably.”
Shooting him a dirty look, I got out of my seat and ambled back to the cabin.
I saw Jimmy sitting with Eunice and I said, “Hey, why don’t you head up with Ben. Get some male-bonding time in. I’ve had my fill. I’ll stay with her.”
“You sure?” he asked.
“Yeah, we super-chicks gotta stick together.”
I grabbed the first aid kit off the cabin wall and a jug of water. Eunice lay unconscious on the floor of the cabin. It was spacious. More cargo space than seating for this bird. I pulled up her sweater and took the first good look at the bite on her abdomen in nearly a day. Where the teeth had broken the skin was black and oozing puss. The skin around it was hot and an angry red. She hadn’t turned so this may have just been infection. I remember seeing on the Internet that the human mouth was a dirty place. Something about septicemia.
Keep it clean, keep it dry and treat the fever. That’s all I remembered. Strange the factoids that stick and the ones that don’t. Maybe it’s just recall. Who knows? I washed the bite and the water foamed. I washed it again and dried it with some gauze before putting on a bandage and taping it into place.
Eunice opened her eyes and looked at me. “Am I dead, Haley? Did we make it?”
I put some water on a wound packing pad and dabbed her forehead. She was sweating. “I’m too mean to die and you’re too pretty. Yeah, we made it.”
“I’m cold, Haley.”
“I know. You have a fever. Think you can swallow some pills?”
She nodded and I propped her up to be able to take some pain killers. A good sample pack in the kit. These military boys were well-stocked. I found a couple of blankets and put one behind her and one over her. Within a few minutes, she fell asleep again. I was a little jealous. Take a few pills and forget about the bullshit and craziness. Wouldn’t that be nice?
My stomach growled so I left Eunice where she was and headed to find the galley at the rear of the cabin compartment. Peanuts, crackers and cans of tomato juice. No liquor service on this flight. Damn.
I heard rustling behind the cargo compartment door. Probably just some loose freight shifting around. Maybe I should check? Another noise, like something falling. I opened the door and the overhead lights came on in the cargo hold. The florescent flicker gave the space a strange glow. There were a couple pallets of toilet paper and ration packs but they looked to be tied down. Then I saw them: one zombie eating another. Survival of the deadest. Such is the Circle of Death.
The winner stopped mid-snack and came running, nearly on all fours, in my direction. Fast zombie. Shit. I turned tail and went cabin-side and tried to close the door. He clambered over top of me and sprinted towards Eunice.
The unexpected happened. Speedy Z didn’t tear into Eunice. He sniffed her like an animal and turned around to come after me again. I reached for my gun, finding nothing, and remembered it was slung over the copilot seat. Slacking off, Haley. You need to do better.
Speedy’s breath stank as he grabbed a hold of me. I was sure to be done for.
I heard a load roar and explosion as the wet splash of brain and blood landed on my face. My assailant fell forward and I pushed up so he tumbled to the side.
“Where’d he come from?” asked Jimmy.
“Stowaway,” I said. “We should check the hold for more.” I turned and looked at the bulkhead door between compartments. The slug from Jimmy’s shot was lodged in the steel. He saw it too.
“I don’t think we should be firing guns on a plane.”
“No shit,” I said and felt a trickle from my ear where the bullet grazed me. I held up two bloody fingers for him to see. “Maybe check what’s on the other side of your target too. Just saying.”
“Whoops.”
“Whoops?” I sat back on the floor and laughed until my stomach hurt. Jimmy joined me. It was nice.
I slept curled up in the wire mesh seat when the plane banked left, waking me up. Twisting myself straight, I stretched my feet and wriggled my toes, staring out the window as the horizon shifted from land to sea. My back hurt.
“I don’t suppose you could have found a better ride, Ben?”
“Beggars can’t be choosers, Sis,” he said and flexed his hands tighter on the yoke. Everything in this hulk vibrated and shook giving the appearance of reality blurring. Separating fact from fiction wasn’t getting any easier.
“We here already? How long was I asleep?”
“Five hours. You’ve been snoring since Nebraska.”
I punched him in the shoulder as the plane leveled out. “I don’t snore.”
“If you say so.” I caught him smirking and made to hit him again. I stopped when I saw the tower burning at the airport.
“Anyone answering the phone?”
“Nope.”
“We can’t land here, Ben.”
“I know. That’s JFK. Liberty and LaGuardia are the same.” He pointed to the fuel gauge. The buried needle told the tale. This old Hercules served us well, but Nevada was a ways back and we were sucking fumes.
“We could always ditch in the Hudson,” I said trying to add a little levity.
“Yeah, right, Haley. Check the map again. I remember seeing a grass strip on Long Island. We can make a tactical landing there.”
“Way ahead of you.” I studied the map and did my best to read the instruments. It was a lost cause. “Pretty lousy co-pilot, if you ask me. I can’t even stay awake, let alone sort this out.”
“It’s alright, squirt. I see it up ahead. There’s no ground markers, but I’ve managed worse.” He pointed and I followed the line of his finger ahead. There it lay, looking inexplicably clear. “Go check on the other two,” he said. “It’s gonna be rough.”
I nodded and crawled out of the ass-grill seat. My legs tingled as I stumbled along past the cockpit bulkhead to the passenger area. Eunice was laid out across three seats, her arms folded on her abdomen. Jimmy sat on the deck in front of her, knees up to his chest and his head buried. As I approached, I could tell he was sleeping but with Eunice, that would be just guessing.
Ben banked the plane again and I stumbled. My hand reached out to grab a hold of Jimmy to steady myself, but I stopped. I couldn’t. Not yet. Not anymore. We leveled out again and I stood up.
“Hey, Jimmy,” I whispered for no reason. Louder, “Jimmy. We’re here.”
He stirred and raised his head with a dopey grin on his face. I missed that. “Top of the morning to ya, Haley.”
“It ain’t morning. At least I don’t think it is. Too much smoke.” I nodded to Eunice. “How is she?”
“The same.” The pain in his voice made me angry. Jealous, I suppose. I choked it back. Eunice represented more than my replacement in Jimmy’s life.
“How are the bites?” I asked.
“Take a look,” he said and pulled up her sweater. The wounds looked ugly and black, swollen and blistered. At least they weren’t weeping any more. The stinky pus made me gag.
“I haven’t turned yet, if that’s what you’re checking for, Haley,” said Eunice weakly, turning her head to face me. Her golden-brown eyes normally intimidated me, but they were pale and shot with broken blood vessels.
Jimmy asked, “Any word from your friends below?”
I shook my head. “Ben’s heard nothing.”
“Are you sure he’s there?” asked Eunice.
“Eddie said he would be and I trust him. He said the doctors could help you.” I turned to Jimmy. “You heard him. He’s with the CDC unit now.”
“A lot can happen in a week, Haley.”
“No shit, Sherlock. What’d you want to do? Die in the desert? Vegas is fucked.”
Eunice ended the conversation. “The whole world is fucked.”
I stood up and made for the cockpit. I deliberately didn’t look at them. Instead I said, “Buckle up. We’re landing on Long Island. It’ll be a hike from there. Ben called it a ‘tactical landing’. I didn’t like the sound of that.” I didn’t wait for a response.
Ben looked at me as I clambered back into the co-pilot seat and buckled in. “Everyone ready?” he asked.
I scrunched my face and stuck my tongue out. “Is anyone?”
He shook his head and ignored me. We left both questions unanswered as Ben pulled back on the throttle and gently eased the yoke.
The truth of things was that Eunice never made it off the tarmac. We carried her corpse for miles halfway across Long Island, but she grew heavier and heavier with each step. Ben knew it. I knew it. Jimmy knew it but refused its reality.
The airstrip east of Eastport was completely abandoned. Neither socialite nor zombie were to be seen. Jimmy carried Eunice on a military stretcher rigged up to a dolly we found. It was weird to see here strapped up like that. Reminded me of that old movie with Hannibal Lecter. No face mask, but if Eunice ever turned Z, we’d find one rather handy.
It was tough going, but we made it to the Sunrise highway and headed into New York. The message from Eddie was to meet him at the hospital in Brooklyn. At the pace we traveled, it’d be a couple days.
We didn’t come across the first wandering horde until close to nightfall in Shirley. We detoured into the community, figuring we’d find a little slice of suburban heaven to call our own for the night. Whatever went down here happened quickly and early in the game. Cars were parked askew and the skeletonized remains were scattered all over the place. It looked like animals picked most of the bodies clean.
“It’s so quiet, Ben,” I said. “No birds.”
“Didn’t all the birds end up on my front lawn a couple weeks ago?” he said.
Ben led our little march and I brought up the rear. Jimmy wheeled his load between us. He couldn’t carry his rifle and push so I had it slung over my shoulder. I kept my knife in its holster just in case. A long piece of rebar was my walking stick. I loved the weight of it and swung it around like a staff. I dub thee zed-whacker.
We’d passed a large school that looked like it went all the way to the middle grades. We rounded the corner of the building and saw them. There had to be dozens of zombies on the football field, just standing there. I dropped my staff with a clang. It made so much noise!
“Shit,” I said.
“Thanks, Haley,” muttered Jimmy and leaned Eunice up against the brick wall. “Stay put, girl,” he said. No danger of her doing much else.
I passed him his rifle and loosened my pistol in its holster before picking up my staff.
“You really going to use that?” asked Ben. He preferred his shotgun. Personally, I thought he’d seen too many movies.
I shrugged. “Why not? Save on a few bullets.” I twirled the rebar for effect.
Ben looked at me with continued amazement. Really, dude? You’re surprised? “That’s actually a good point, Haley. We’ll have to find a gun shop before too long.”
I looked across the field. The zombies stumbled their way closer to us. Slow walkers. Good.
“How many do you think there are, Ben?” asked Jimmy.
“No more than about fifty,” he said and filled his pockets with shells.
“I promise to leave you some,” I said as I raced past them to take out as many as I could.
Strange the things that still worked. Running water in the cities. By and large, the taps kept flowing. No power and I couldn’t vouch for it being drinkable, but a cold shower beat no shower hands down. The former occupants of this Cape Cod were considerate enough to leave soap and clean towels. Mighty white of them, I say.
The water stung the cuts and scrapes along my arms. I inspected each one. Were they bites or scratches? No, just the rough and tumble bumps and bruises of a tomboy on the playground. I dried myself off and dressed in some clean jeans and hoodie. My hair was wet, but I put it up in a ponytail anyway. Practical matters.
Jimmy and Ben poured over the map on the dining room table. I peaked in the living room and say Eunice laying on the couch with her arms folded on her chest. The carpet felt nice as it squooshed between my toes. Small luxuries.
Eunice’s skin had a bluish-gray hue and when I touched her cheek, she was ice cold. I lifted up her sweater and peeled back the bandage. The bite mark was still ugly and black, but the angry redness had vanished. I pulled the throw blanket of the back of the couch and covered her up, tucking it under her chin. It wasn’t my place to bring it up further.
I found some bottled water in the kitchen and cracked it open as I leaned against the arch to the dining room. Ben looked up at me and I made a look to the living room. He nodded.
Jimmy traced our route. The hospital was on the other side of JFK and all routes had to go past the airport. We wouldn’t be as lucky to find it as abandoned. That place would be packed with Zs.
No matter how you looked at it, we’d need wheels to go any further. This walking shit was for the birds. Or something like that.
I walked between Ben and Jimmy and put my hand flat on the map and looked at Jimmy. “Dude, we gotta talk.”
Jimmy turned he face to me with his eyes bloodshot and watery. “She’s gone, isn’t she?”
“Yes,” said Ben. “Eunice didn’t make it.”
I went to hug Jimmy and at first he let me and then he threw me off and stomped to the living room. I followed but Ben stayed me with his hand.
“Give him a minute, Sis.”
“Fine,” I said and sat down at the table. “Why didn’t she turn?”
Ben picked up his water and sipped. “That’s a very good question. It’s been a good twelve hours.”
“I think it’s been longer. That’s a bad bite.” I let a mouthful of water linger in my mouth before swallowing. I’m alive and Eunice is not. In another life, we could have been friends. We almost were here.
Jimmy sat down at the table with us. I reached across the table and held his hand. For a while, the three of us just sat there.
“It’ll be dark in an hour,” said Jimmy. “We gotta bury her.”
We didn’t argue. Ben found a pair of spades in the garage. The boys dug while I wrapped Eunice up in bedsheets. She was so light, already a husk.
Jimmy carried her out fireman-style and carefully laid her in the earth. I tossed some roses from a bush on top of her body. None of us knew any words and Jimmy just said, “Thank you, Eunice.”
By the time we filled in her grave and pulled a few patio stones over top of it, the late summer crickets were chirping their warning of dusk. We hurried inside and covered the ground floor windows.
I raided the liquor cabined and setup bottles on the table and lit some candles.
We’d be able to sleep for one night.
We had to pull over on the side of the road when the jeep started to overheat. I got out and stretched. Even though it was early November, it was unseasonably warm. I placed my hands on the small of my back and arched as far back as I could. I heard a popping sound and winced.
Harvested cropland was on either side as far as the eye could see. The sun blazed high overhead making the air shimmer at the crest of the slight hill. The railway crossing sign looked old and untended.
“Eunice,” I said. “Want to go for a walk while the boys figure out the mysteries of automotive wonders?”
“Sure, Haley,” she said and threw me a bottle of water. I caught it easily but was loathe to drink it. I missed cold water.
We took our time. The engine would cool down in its own time. We’d been driving west for three days straight and saw nothing but the occasional abandoned truck until we hit a logjam of cars, forcing us to detour on some secondary roads. Grassy husks and dirt.
The train tracks bisected the road in perfect symmetry. As straight as the road went east-west, the railway was an arrow-shot north-south. The horizon dipped in every direction. In another world and another time, this would have been a wonderful moment.
Eunice kicked the gravel at the corner of the intersection, put her hand up as a visor and peered up the track.
“See anything?” I asked.
“No, but do you hear it?” She pointed to a dusty cloud in the distance.
The vibrations under my feet told me what my eyes couldn’t. A train was coming. “Back up, Eunice.”
“I thought all rail was halted like air travel,” said Eunice.
“Me too,” I said and yelled back to Ben. He looked up as the rumbling noise grew closer. “Ben, train’s coming.”
The dust cloud was close enough that I could see a mix of sandy brown and coal black smoke. As it took shape, the roar of the engines was deafening. No whistles, no squeal of breaks. This train was at top speed.
The crossing lights started flashing and the bells sounded. It was a rural road so there was no need for bars. Ben and Jimmy trotted up beside us to watch the train. My teeth hurt with the vibration. It was coming too fast. It felt dangerous. We all backed up a few paces.
“I smell barbecue,” said Jimmy and the familiar sinking feeling in my stomach returned. I hadn’t been able to eat country food since the hospital.
“Get back,” I shouted. “Get back!” I grabbed Eunice’s arm and hauled her away. We fell down in a small heap as the engine car raced past, screaming its noise. The smell of burning deisel and meat was nearly intoxicating as the cars flashed by ablaze. I read the logo on the side of several passenger cars. ‘United States of America: Rail One’
“Jesus Christ!” said Jimmy as he and Ben fell back into the ditch with us.
We watched as the burning train passed us and continued on its useless journey, proudly ringing the toll of defeat.
“Well, that ends that,” said Ben. “We’re definitely on our own now.”
We left the quaint suburban bliss of Shirley the next morning after rummaging through the house for supplies. No weapons, but we did manage to score fresh clothes, some water and a nice bag of golf clubs. The rebar gave me a blister so I was happy for the upgrade. Jimmy said to take the sand wedge because it was heavier. I snagged a three-wood and a three-iron for good measure. A girl can’t be too sure. A little duct tape, a poster tube and a little arts-and-crafts magic produced a handy quiver to wear over my shoulder.
We ate breakfast on the back patio and toasted Eunice with powdered orange juice and white wine. Not the breakfast of champions, but beggars can’t be choosers. Ben and I looked at each other and waited patiently while Jimmy knelt at her grave.
He stood up and brushed the mud off his knees. No eye contact. “Okay. Let’s go. Let’s get the fuck out of here.” He looked at me with wet eyed glare I hadn’t expected. “Your precious Eddie awaits.”
The walk out of the subdivision was a quiet one. Jimmy volunteered to scout up front, leaving Ben and I to walk together.
“I hate to say it, but we’ll make better time this way,” I said to Ben, quiet enough for Jimmy not to hear.
He nodded and turned around, walking backwards. “I hate leaving her back there.” He faced forward again.
I hooked my arm into his. “You never did tell me what the deal was between you and Eunice.”
Ben scanned the street ahead. Jimmy was cresting a hill and about to disappear on the other side. “No, I didn’t.”
“Why? I mean, I get the whole Jimmy and her thing, even if it took me a while. But you and her. There’s some larger story.”
“It’s kinda complicated, Haley.” We worked our way up the steep hill. I felt my calves stretch.
I reached up and tousled his hair. “Try me. I’m a big girl.”
Ben smiled at me. “Yeah, all grown up. I’m surprised you and Jimmy didn’t hook up in the end.”
“Who says we didn’t?”
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow then cupped his hands around his mouth. “Jimmy, hold up. You’re too far.”
I laughed. “Well, no. But not for lack of trying on his part.”
“Then why the Hell did you get all jealous like that? If you weren’t interested.” Great question and not one I had a great answer for.
“I didn’t say that. I don’t know. It’s stupid. Me and Jimmy have a connection, but it’s not right. Like we’re separated by time and…” I swung my arm around to the ghost neighborhood that we walked in. No motion and no sound but us. “…by all this wonderful circumstance.”
We crested the hill and were treated to a great view of the outskirts of the burg and the expressway. I could see JFK in the distance.
“Something’s wrong,” said Ben. “Where’s Jimmy?”
Ben and I hurried down the other side of the hill as fast as we dared, not wanting to call our and draw attention to ourselves. I walked the right shoulder of the road while my brother took the left.
We were coming into a commercial district. The houses on this side if the hill were older. A few apartment buildings and a few stores dotted the street. I caught a flash of movement disappear down a small alleyway.
“Ben, something up ahead.”
“Is it Jimmy?” he asked.
“No idea. Whoever it was, it was fast,” I said and quickened my pace.
Another dark figure came around the corner and dashed down the alley. The sun cast it in shadow, but the way it ran looked wrong.
Ben crossed the street and walked beside me. “New zombie?”
I nodded. “Probably. They’re the fast ones. That means that there might be other people here.”
“Well, two Zs down there,” he said and pointed.
“There’ll be two less in a moment,” I said as I unholstered my Glock.
“Hold up, Haley,” said Ben and put his hand on my wrist. “We don’t know how many. Gunshots might bring unwanted attention.”
“Fine,” I said and closed the snap. “I wanted to try the wedge anyway.” I pulled it out of my quiver and gave a few practice swings. “Close combat it is.”
I stood back and watched as Ben unsheathed his machetes and scraped the blades together. “Ready?”
“You look like a walking lawnmower, Bro,” I said and stifled a small giggle. Okay, maybe a laughed a bit. He really did look badass.
The alley was shaded and cool but by no means dark. There was a pair of dumpsters, but otherwise, it was surprisingly clean. I took note of the two zombies we spied heading into the alley, but the were not alone.
“I count a good twenty,” said Ben. “What are they looking at?”
The small crowd took no notice of us and were trying to climb a fence at the back of the lane. I couldn’t quite make it out, but it looked like something was hung on the top of the fence just out of their reach.
“Any idea what that is?” I asked Ben and pointed.
“It looks like a body.”
“Oh fuck,” I muttered and crept forward.
“This is freaking me out, Haley,” said Ben. “If any Zs come from behind, we’re screwed.”
That thought had crossed my mind. “I gotta see what that is up there.”
The closer we got and deeper into the alley, the more the growling echoed throughout the space. The two buildings felt as if they were closing in on us, getting narrower and narrower. The smell of rot tickled my nose and I swore I could taste them. Metallic and sour.
“Remember that time you dared me to put my tongue on a nine-volt battery?” I asked and spat.
“I taste it too. Sorry about that.”
I sensed Ben right behind me. His breathing was quick.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I just need to get out of here. How come they’re not attacking us?”
It was definitely a body hung on the fence. Chained. My heart leapt in my throat.
Ben saw him too. “Jimmy.”
Jimmy’s body hung by its arms as if he were crucified. Blood dripped off his fingertips. His legs dangled just out of reach of the frenetic horde. A paper bag was placed over his head and someone had drawn a happy face. Have a nice day. There was no way to tell if he was alive or dead.
Ben can beside me and whispered in my ear. We were still twenty feet away. “Same as last time? You on the right and me on the left?”
“Sure,” I said. “Remember to stop before you hack me.”
“I promise I’ll try.”
It turned out that trying to swing both clubs at the same time sounded cooler that it actually was practical. After the first swing, I dropped the iron and did my talking with the wedge. The thud it made as it stuck was wet and satisfying. I found I could come around better and be more accurate with a two handed swing, but I’d lose my balance. When the golf head got stuck in a real head, it became obvious that I had the wrong tool for the job.
I dropped the wedge and selected the remaining three-wood. If only I had a caddy. It was heavier and the bulk of the head meant that I did more head smashing than slicing. Didn’t matter to me, so long as the bastards went down. The trick was not letting them get inside the arc of my swing.
Ben took me to minigolf once. It was one of the few good times I remember as a little girl. We stayed out too late and Mother beat Ben while I watched. I pictured Mother’s face as I swung. Teeth and bone, flesh and brain.
At one point, I looked up to see Ben’s teeth bared. The look on his face frightened me. Is that how I look? We’ve changed so much. Had to or die. I watched the twin machete’s bite hard and fast into several attackers between swings.
Jimmy hung behind me, limp and unaware of what went on below. His spectator’s view, wasted.
I slipped on a pool of intestines and plunged headfirst into the building mound of body parts.
Ben caught me and helped me to my feet. “We’re done, Haley.”
“Are we?” I asked as I tucked the hair that’d fallen from my ponytail behind my ear. I was winded, but okay.
Ben picked me up and put me on his shoulders. I reached up and pulled the happyface bag off Jimmy’s head. I peered up at his face and touched it. Still warm. A blood bubble formed between his lips.
“He’s still alive, Ben.”
It took us a while to get him down. Fortunately, the chains were only wrapped and looped to keep him up on the fence. We pulled him forward in the alley away from the corpse pile and laid him on the ground. Ben checked his the bottom half, while I took the top. Jimmy had long lateral cuts along the length of his arms and legs. They weeped blood slowly but steadily. He’d lost a lot of blood but was unconsious.
“Why do you think he was hung up there?” I asked.
Ben frowned as he inspected Jimmy’s abdomen. “I saw this in the desert. We’d come across displays like this. Set to bleed slowly and attract wildlife away from the encampments. Goats, dogs and the like. Tied and bled to keep larger things away.” He sat back on his haunches. “One patrol, we came across a local policeman, a man we’d trained, tied up to bleed.”
My heart broke for Ben. He didn’t talk about his time over there. “Are you saying Jimmy was bait?” I asked.
“Yes, Haley,” said Ben. “We gotta get out of here. Now.”
It’s strange what people left behind. Not that I complained. Fresh water, vodka and a handy dandy first aid kit go a along way in the zombie apocalypse, making it a straight forward task of bandaging Jimmy’s wounds. I only wish we had some painkillers. A little oxy would help take the edge off. Jimmy could use some too. Badumbum. Here all week folks. I didn’t want to think about how important antibiotics might be. We took too many things for granted.
He opened his eyes wide, rolled his neck around and tried to sit up.
“Stay still, Jimmy. You got your ass kicked.”
His voice was weak, but at least there was one. “Ben… Haley… there’s a bunch of people.”
Ben squatted beside us. “Yeah, we kinda figured. How many?” he asked.
“Three, I think. No, four. A man, a woman and two kids.” He tried to sit up again. Ben and I helped him. “What the hell is wrong with me?”
“You got some deep cuts on your arms and legs. Lost a bunch of blood. You say a family did this to you?” I asked.
He started to come around. Focus more. “Don’t judge. They caught me unawares. Tricked me.” Jimmy worked his arms and winced. “This ain’t good. My arms are fucked.”
Ben and I shared a worried look. Jimmy just went from valued warrior to dead weight. At least for now.
“Your arms were extended and you hung by your shoulders. They’ll probably come back,” said Ben. “I’m more worried about your legs. We gotta split the scene. Can you stand?”
“I’ll try.”
We helped him to his feet but he immediately slumped back to the ground. We tried again with using my golf clubs as crutches, but with his shoulders wrecked, there was no way he could put any weight on them.
“I’m sorry, guys,” he said.
Ben looked up the alley nervously. “We’re going to have to carry you out of here at least. We’re sitting ducks.”
“He’s too heavy,” I said. “There’s no way.”
“Just leave me. I’m useless this way.”
I grabbed him by the chin and lifted it. “No time for a fucking pity party, Jimmy.”
“But Eunice…”
“But nothing. She died. It’s not your fault. We need you.”
“It’s not up for debate,” said Ben. “Haley, you’re going to have to take all the gear and weapons. I’ll fireman carry Jimmy. Can you do that?”
“Sure,” I said and strapped all my backpack and the boys satchels over my shoulders. I slung the rifles there as well, grunting with the weight of it all. “I can barely move, Ben.”
“We don’t have to go far. Just out of here. We’ll find a car or something to hole up in. Can you use the Glock?”
“You’ll have to take it out and put it in my hand. I can’t reach.”
Ben grabbed it and handed it to me. I didn’t feel very confident.
“You okay?” he asked.
“As long as the Zs and Mansons come in a straight line, one at a time, we’ll be fine.”
“Spoken like an optimist,” said Jimmy.
Ben bent and hoisted Jimmy on his shoulders. It took a couple tries to get his balance, but at last he found his center point.
“Let’s blow this joint,” said Jimmy.
“Easy for you to say,” I said.
We approached the open end of the alley and crossed the line from shade into sun. I didn’t realize how cool it was, but the sun felt wonderfully warm on my face despite my burden. Ben set Jimmy down on the sidewalk against the building.
“Thanks for the ride, amigo,” said Jimmy as he propped himself into a more comfortable position. “My arms are coming back,” he said rubbing his elbows.
I handed a couple bottles of water to Ben and he tossed one to Jimmy. The water was cool and after a mouthful, I capped it and pressed the bottle to the back of my neck.
Ben reached down and grabbed the rifle I’d leaned against the wall. “Take a short rest, Haley. You look wrote off. I’ll stand watch for a bit.”
I wasn’t one to argue at that point so I sat with my head between my knees and dozed off.
My dreams always started the same way. I was running, running from a horde. We were in the hospital here in New York. I’d keep yelling for Eddie and he wouldn’t come. I couldn’t find him. I saw the bodies of everyone I’d ever known in corpse piles along the hallways. I’d be in the common room and the lab upstairs. I’d be back in my cell. Always the growling of the nearby Zs. Except I wasn’t the age I am now or even what I was a year ago. I was the little girl again. Pigtails and wishing for my brother to come home. Mother, why do you hate me? Her skin was rotting off. I was trapped in my cell the corner. And then I was surrounded by zombies, growling, growling. I wanted to scream but nothing came out. Eddie was there now but he’d turned. So was Jimmy. And Ben. And Eunice. And Kyle. They kept filling my cell. It wasn’t big enough. Zombies kept climbing and stepping on each other. Some of the growling became words. I heard my name rise up through the noise. ‘Haley, Haley, Haley’. I didn’t understand. I was a little girl. I should have been playing with dolls, taking their heads off to see how they work. Why are your eyes missing, Ben? The chant changed. ‘Help us, help us, help us’. I put my hands over my ears to make them stop to quiet the voices but the growls and voices kept coming. I couldn’t stop it. I was standing in the center of my house, the house I grew up in, holding a lit match. The zombie multitude stared at my fingertips and followed the flame. The voices continued. ‘Save us, Haley.’ The flame grew bigger but my fingers felt cold. The voices rose and rose and rose. I said ‘STOP’ as loud as I could and they all froze dead, even deader than they were, in their tracks…
“Haley, wake up,” said Ben, nudging me with the side of his foot. “We have company.”
I lifted my head, saw the strangers and reached for my gun.
“I wouldn’t try that, girlie,” said the man with a much larger rifle pointed at Ben who pointed his back. I wasn’t a big fan of the Mexican standoff.
“Put you hands on top of your head and lace your fingers,” said the girl. I guessed her age to be about thirteen. She was plain-looking but not necessarily unpretty. Her smallish pistol looked real enough so I placed my hands on top of my head as instructed.
A boy, slightly taller than the girl, held Jimmy’s head back by his hair with one hand and a large hunting knife to his throat. The kid was stocky and well fed, too young for muscles, but the potential lay there. It was only a matter of time.
“I thought there were four of you,” I said to the man.
“Mommy is dead because of you,” said the girl.
“What do you mean?” asked Ben, never taking his eyes off the rifle pointed his way.
The boy spoke next. “Because this guy didn’t do his part.” He looked at Jimmy and yanked harder on his hair.
“Ow!” said Jimmy. “That’s attached, squirt.”
“Enough,” said the man harshly to the children. “You’ll have to excuse Bobby and Sally. It’s been a bad day.”
Bobby lowered the knife slowly and let Jimmy’s hair go. The boy retreated to his father’s side.
“Sally, you too,” said the man and she uncocked her gun, lowered it and began to cry quietly and unashamed.
Ben, official spokesman for our group, said, “We need to lower our weapons at the same time. Save the bullets for the Zs.”
“Agreed.” The men dropped their weapons in perfect timing with each other.
Ben reached forward and offered his hand. “I’m Ben. This is Haley and Jimmy.” He pointed to us.
“Name’s Clyde and these are my kids.”
“Hi Sally. Hi Bobby,” I said and forced my best smile and finger wave. This world’s gone to shit when kids have to act like this to survive.
Jimmy said, “Are you guys nuts? These crazy fuckers chained me to a fence as Z-bait.”
“It’s not like any of us have any choice, do we Jimmy?” I said to him.
Clyde offered a hand to Jimmy. “Sorry about that. No hard feelings?”
“You’re kidding me right?” asked Jimmy, declining the hand.
I asked Sally, “What happened to your mom?”
“The monsters got her,” said Billy. “While we were sleeping.”
“I’m so sorry,” said Ben.
“There is so much to be sorry for,” said Clyde. “It was Betty’s idea to chain your Jimmy up. Figured it’d draw the Zs away. All we wanted was one night of peace.”
“You have a spot nearby to get out of the heat?” asked Ben.
Clyde nodded. “Yeah. There’s a auto parts shop we’ve been using.” He pointed a few stores up the street. The kids found a shopping cart that made the perfect solution for Jimmy. Billy and Sally took turns pushing while the three of us able adults took up guard and headed for the shop.
I wondered what kind of adults these kids would grow up to be. What would be normal to them? This? Was there any future for any of us? Did fighting even matter?
One of the worst parts of November is the fickle nature of the weather. By the time we got underneath the awning, the whole lot of us were drenched. The rain pounded upon the street and looked to be bouncing back up a foot.
It was hard to believe that only an hour ago, it was warm enough that I had my hoodie tied around my waist. Now, I wore the drenched thing and shivered.
“Where the Hell did that come from?” asked Ben, rubbing his arms together.
“The sky,” I said and gave him the finger.
“Bitch.” I loved Ben’s laugh.
Billy and Sally huddled under a blanket we’d found. It wouldn’t be long before they fell asleep.
“My ass is getting griddle marks in this thing,” said Jimmy from his shopping cart chariot. He yelped in pain as he shifted position.
“Shhh,” said Ben. “You’ll wake the kids.”
“Really?” he said. “We’re all one big happy family now?”
I looked around. “How come Clyde’s not back yet? I’m fucking frozen.”
“No idea,” said Ben. “Maybe he had to take an epic piss on the way.”
“I’ll go look for him. Maybe moving will warm me up.” I peeled off my hoodie and wrung it out.
“Here. Take mine,” said Jimmy and tossed it to me.
“Thanks.” I put it on and zipped it up. Much better.
“Put on the garbage bag this time, Haley,” said Ben.
“You always need to be the responsible one, don’t you, Bro.”
“Someone has to,” he said and shrugged.
The noise of the rain covered up the rustle of plastic as I prowled around the corner of the showroom building, brandishing one of Ben’s machetes and my favorite three-wood. The pistol was in the sweater’s pocket, but I didn’t want to get it wet if I didn’t have to.
I ducked behind a car when I saw two wandering Zs amble by. The downpour took their senses away which was fine with me. A flash of clothing caught my peripheral vision.
“Clyde,” I hissed hoping to get his attention. No response.
I followed the glimpse around the next corner.
“Clyde, there you are,” I said. “What the fuck was taking you so long?”
He stood there and didn’t say anything, the sports bag slung over his shoulder. He just looked at me.
“Hey, dude. You okay?” I asked and edged forward. The machete felt heavy and slippery in my grip. I kept the club low and slightly behind me.
Clyde gurgled and growled. He lurched forward to me and I saw what I’d suspected. Loping gait, bleeding from the belly and acting generally zombie like. Shit, Billy and Sally are gonna need counseling for sure now.
To be honest, I didn’t like the guy. Didn’t trust him after hanging Jimmy like that. As a Z, he wouldn’t be hanging about to long. Z-Clyde had too many injuries, guts spilling out and all. Not even fast. Loser.
The machete’s blade slid cleanly across his throat and the rotten blood spilled down the front of him before he toppled. I lifted the strap of the sports bag and let him fall beneath it. The corner of it caught him on the chin and his head folded back like the head of a Pez dispenser.
I didn’t feel bad about Clyde at all.
“Where’s Clyde?” Ben asked when I returned. Billy and Sally were still asleep.
“He didn’t make it. Looks like he scored us socks and crackers.” We exchanged a knowing grim look.
“How thoughtful,” said Jimmy.
“Actually, it’s exactly what we need right now,” I said.
Jimmy looked out across the car lot at the string of pennants hanging over the driveway. “The wind’s picking up,”
Billy noticed the dog before any of us. It followed us from quite a distance. We’d not seen any Zs for hours and then this dog showed up.
The boy didn’t tell us but kept tossing crackers back for the dog to eat. Closer and closer the pooch came.
When we stopped for a break the dog came up and licked Billy in the face. Ben almost shot the dog on the spot, but I held up my hand and stopped him.
“Can we keep this guy, Haley?” asked Billy.
“No,” said Ben. “Are you nuts? That thing will bark and attract every zombie within earshot.”
“She’s a dog, bro,” I said, scrubbing her ears. “Not a thing.”
The dog looked like it had some shepherd in her but by and large she was a mutt. As I was petting her, she rolled over on her back for a belly rub. I accommodated and took the opportunity to inspect for wounds. The fur was a little matted and had a funk about it, but aside from some blood on her paws, she was fine. What did you see, girl?
The dog sat up and started licking Sally “Maybe she can help, Ben,” she said. “Maybe she can smell the monsters before we do?”
“That only works if we don’t end up running from them,” said Jimmy from his shopping cart pulpit.
Billy hugged the dog around the neck. “You can be good, can’t you? You’re a good dog.”
It seemed like everyone was giving silent assent to our new four-legged companion. I found the idea of having an extra set of eyes encouraging. By the looks of her, she’d be another warrior as well.
“Does she have a name?” asked Jimmy. “We can’t just call her ‘dog.’
I checked the collar and thumbed the tag. Somebody had a sense of humor. “Flower. Her name is Flower.”
At the sound of her name, Flower’s tail started wagging and I was subjected to another tongue bath. Go me.
“Well, welcome aboard, Flower,” said Ben. He wouldn’t pet her.
We resumed our trek down the freeway. The kids took turns pushing the cart and tossing a stick up ahead for the dog. It seemed sensible to let to keep Flower out front of our scent. She never tired of the game.
The moon was full and the sky clear, so we decided to try and get in a few extra miles. Sally curled up with Jimmy in the cart and Ben pushed. Billy and Flower walked up front with me, the game of fetch suspended for the evening.
“Haley,” said Billy.
“Yes?”
“Are we going to die?”
I looked down at his face and saw our future. Would he live? Probably not, but what was the alternative? Give up? Not on my watch.
“No, Billy. We’re not going to die. The good guys always win.”
“Not always. Not all of them.”
He was right. We walked together in silence, lost in our thoughts.
Sally pushed the cart and watched Jimmy as he plucked away at the ukulele he’d found. None of us realized he’d pinched it, but since being trapped in the shopping cart, he took on the role of minstrel when it wasn’t his turn to guard.
“Can you teach me how to play?” she asked him.
“Of course he can, sweetie,” I said. “I’ll push for a bit. You ride up in the cart with him.”
It was weird watching Jimmy interact with the little girl. He’d been so angry and quiet since we buried Eunice, but from his turret in shopping cart, he took an even more passive role. Sure, he’d take guard when asked and did his best, but he only phoned it in. Jimmy’d seen a lot growing up and when we met, he really had it together. Now? Well, the man I teased, taunted and wanted was gone.
Sally paid no notice. She sat in the cart, Jimmy at one end and her at the other between his outstretched legs. I’d changed the bandages earlier but they continued to weep. Ben said gangrene was setting in. I think Jimmy knew he was dying but I wasn’t ready for that yet. Ben and I talked about amputation, a field skill he learned. Tomorrow would be the day. Neither of us wanted to tell Jimmy.
I watched them. At first Jimmy just observed as Sally plucked on his ukulele. She made awful noises. Then it changed.
“Here, let me tune it,” said Jimmy and held out his hand.
Sally didn’t say anything. She just smiled and handed it over. He tuned it by ear and I remembered many an evening over a bottle of Jack where he’d play for me. Silly songs but fun times.
Jimmy held up the instrument with his ring finger on the third fret of the bottom string. “This is C,” he said and handed it back to Sally.
She mimicked the fingering and strummed the first sound that was recognizable as music. Thank fuck.
“Now strum in a pattern. Down down up up down.” Jimmy watched as Sally did just that.
The little girl’s face transformed. Sally, one of the cadre that held a gun on us. One of the group that strapped Jimmy to a fence as zombie bait. Sally was, at heart, just a little girl in a dark place.
“Ok, place your middle finger on the second fret of the top string. That’s A minor.”
Sally bit her lip and contorted her finger and strummed the pattern. “Like this, Jimmy?”
He nodded. “Now practice changing between the two chords using the strum pattern.”
They went on like that for a while. The F, the G, the A and then the D minor. Sally was a natural. Within a couple hours, Jimmy had her playing Somewhere Over the Rainbow What a Wonderful World. Once she got the hang of it, to everyone’s surprise, Jimmy started to sing. After all the time we spent going from bar to bar, town to town, he’d sung many songs, country and rock, but nothing like this.
Jimmy’s voice now came from a special place and I stopped the cart right there. Ben and Billy doubled back and Flower curled up at my feet. For that one moment in time, the zombie apocalypse disappeared and it was good to be alive.
Snow fell that night and even though we managed to get a few candles going for heat, we couldn’t take the dampness out of the air. The kids, like all kids, didn’t seem bothered by the rough night. Priority one that morning was building a snowman. All body parts intact, this was no snowzombie.
I was happy to see them occupied. Ben took off to the hardware store we passed to get supplies. Today’s surgery brought to you by Bob Villa.
I pulled the blanket back from the shopping cart. “Jimmy, wake up,” I said.
He looked up and it was ghastly how grey he’d become. Being stuck in the cart couldn’t have been good for the circulation but we didn’t have much choice.
“Hey, Haley,” he said. “How’s my favorite live wire?”
“Still kicking,” I said. “We need to get you out and get a good look at your legs.”
“Why’d you have to go spoil my good mood?” he asked. “You’re probably going to have to tip this thing and pour me out.”
I nodded. “This is going to hurt, Jimmy.”
“I know.”
Jimmy landed legs first in the deepest drift of snow I could find. He howled and passed out. I made the best of the situation and hauled him to a dryer spot and used my hoodie as a pillow for him. Shivering, I folded my arms and watched the children as I waited for Ben. After a few minutes, Jimmy came to.
“Dad never approved of me playing guitar,” he said.
I turned around and wiped the sweat off his forehead. “You want another oxy?”
“That bad, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said and gave him two from a baggie in my pocket. Jimmy ate them like candy and we were getting low. “You don’t talk about your Dad much. Not since that one night.”
“He was a vet,” said Jimmy as he munched. “He didn’t talk about his time in service. Same as Ben. Same as you. We’re all damaged goods, Haley.”
“Some of us more than others,” I said.
Ben returned and unslung the sportsbag, his face splattered with blood.
“Trouble?” I asked.
“Just another day in the apocalypse, Sis.”
Ben laid out a tarp and we carefully picked Jimmy up and set him on it.
“He got a full load of meds on board?”
“Uh-huh,” I said. “We should be good.”
Ben laid out some lengths of rubber hose to use as tourniquets, a couple miter saws, some mineral spirits and a propane torch. I grabbed the first aid kit from suburbia and a roll of paper towel.
“I love you guys,” said Jimmy.
“We love you too,” I said and gave him the last of the baggie.
Ben stood up and I heard him tell Billy and Sally to stand guard. He handed them each pistols and it struck me again and how they’d never be the same after this, presuming there was an ‘after this.’
I looked into Jimmy’s eyes. “If this doesn’t work, Jimmy…”
He weakly raised a hand and palmed my cheek. I leaned into it. After all this, I still loved him.
“I know,” he said. “You’ll have to pike me. Don’t let me turn, Haley.”
“I won’t,” I said. “I promise.”
Flower barked incessantly in time with Jimmy’s screams. I knelt on his shoulders with his head wedged between my legs and braced my arms on either side of his waist, pinning him down. His shoulders took a beating, but he wouldn’t stay still. Can’t say I blamed him.
The dog kept circling, whining and barking. Not in a violent way. We were her pack mates and one of own was in pain.
“Sally, come get Flower will you?” I asked.
The little girl came over and peered over Ben’s shoulder. “Is Jimmy going to be okay?”
“I don’t know. Don’t look, honey,” I said and pointed to the dog. “Please. Do something with her.”
She tried to drag Flower away but she wouldn’t budge. Instead, the two of them sat just out of the way and watched. Brave girl. She scrubbed the dog behind the ears and she settled. Billy joined her and sat cross-legged on the other side of the pooch. Tears tracked down their cheeks, but they didn’t cry outright. It was their job to bear witness, to be there for Jimmy. Be there for us.
Ben worked as fast as he could. He’d managed to remove one leg below just below the knee. The smell of rot was horrendous. The tourniquet did an adequate job of stemming some of the blood, but it poured out just the same. He lit the torch with the striker and dialed a blue flame.
Jimmy screamed louder that we thought possible as Ben cauterized the vessels and exposed flesh. The white and red of bone and muscle blackened as the flame licked. Jimmy pushed heavily against my legs, bracing against the pain in futility. The mineral spirits cooled the burn, but little more. He wrapped in in gauze and some bandage before loosening the rubber hose.
After examining the other leg and how far the gangrene had progressed, Ben sat back. “We have to go above the knee with the other one”
“Is that bad?” I asked.
“Femoral artery. It’ll bleed, bleed bad. If we don’t get high enough, it won’t matter. The poison will race through his body and kill him.”
“Do we have any choice?”
“No, we’re this far.”
“Just do it,” said Jimmy through gritted teeth. Sweat poured of his face and even with all the adrenaline, he ashen. “I don’t want to die. Not yet.”
I turned my head to the children. They hugged the dog and watched, guns in their laps.
“You three really should be standing guard. The days are short and it’ll be dark soon. I expect we’ll have company tonight.”
They didn’t speak and the dog didn’t complain. It was like Flower understood. They had a job to do and so did we. Billy and Flower got up and took up their posts. Sally leaned forward, kissed Jimmy on the cheek and left as well.
Ben pulled the hose tight on the other leg. “You ready for this, dude?”
Jimmy rolled his eyes and chuckled, gurgling slightly as he did so. “Fuck, man. Do it already. You don’t have to be so dramatic.”
Flower was barking again and Ben had sawed through most of Jimmy’s thigh when the first gunshot ripped through the air.
“Incoming,” yelled Billy and fired again.
Sally yelped and fired as well. And again, and again.
“How many are there?” I asked as Jimmy struggled beneath me.
“Twenty,” said Sally.
“Shit,” said Ben as he continued to saw. Sweat for the exertion dripped off the tip of his nose.
“I don’t need to tell you to hurry, bro,” I said.
“Almost through.” The saw clunked on the ground. “There. Go, Haley. Jimmy will have to be on his best behavior for this next part.”
“Go kill some Zs, Haley,” said Jimmy weakly.
“You sure?” I asked, certain that Jimmy couldn’t keep up his end of the bargain.
He nodded and grabbed my wrist. “Remember what I asked.”
“Deal,” I said then got up and grabbed my guns as Ben sparked the torch again.
The kids were at ten and two o’clock, doing their best to pick off the approaching horde. Twenty my ass. Gotta be fifty or more. We were deep in an alcove and had fairly good sight-lines.
I went over to Billy. “You go help your sister. Take turns firing and reloading. Make each bullet count.”
The rounds flew quickly and the zombies kept coming. I wasn’t sure whether it was Jimmy’s screaming or the overpowering smell of fresh blood that brought them, but as fast as we could knock them down, more would appear. When it at last looked like we’d gotten the best of them, it looked like a perimeter of sandbags around our encampment. Well, corpse-bags.
“You two got this?” I asked and the children nodded in unison. Not my favorite image.
Scurrying over to check on the boys, the first thing that I saw was a river of blood. Ben sat at Jimmy’s head, holding his machete to his throat.
“He’s bleeding out, Haley. There’s nothing I can do. I can’t stop it.” Ben’s voice was choked with tears and frustration.
Jimmy sputtered and gurgled, bubbled of blood popping on his lips. The blood and gore of his shortened legs made him look worse than the Zs we’d just finished with. One more corpse-bag to add to the pile.
“Don’t let him turn, Ben. I promised. Jimmy made me promise.”
“Way ahead of you, sis,” he said and nodded his head to the machete.
“Let me do it,” I blurted.
“Why, Haley?” he asked. Ben didn’t understand. He didn’t get Jimmy and me, the Jimmy and me that was and never was.
“I can’t explain. It’s my thing. Please, Ben. I have to do this.”
Ben stood and handed me the machete and I knelt at Jimmy’s head, holding the grip of the blade with both hands. I looked in Jimmy’s eyes for a sign. A sign of life or a sign of death. Anything that could tell me what to do.
The gurgling stopped and Jimmy relaxed for a moment. I leaned over him and kissed his cheek. It was already cold. I pressed my face to his and held on to him. I waited. I cried.
Jimmy’s body stiffened and the growling rumble started in his chest. I leaned back and raised the machete high above my head, my shoulders straining with tension and power.
“I love you, Jimmy,” I said. “Goodbye.”
Sally plucked on that ukulele and even though it annoyed me, I didn’t have the heart to take it from her. I teetered between wanting to smash it to bits for kindling and bashing it over the little girls head. Yeah, I probably still had some issues to work out.
Without having to push Jimmy’s cart, we made great time. The kids surprised Ben and I with their stamina. We were all hungry but onward we trod. After the alcove incident, we were too low on ammo to go on a grub run. I thought about running ahead to play a round of zombie gold to score some food but the responsibility of the kids, Sally in particular, held me back. Funny how that works.
We didn’t talk much. None of us. The next three days blurred together in a soup of grey and black, each of us lost in our own thoughts. We went through the motions. We walked during the day and took fitfully guarded sleep. Us girls for a few hours. The boys for the next few.
An hour into the day, I took my first step on the outer runway of JFK and planted both feet. The hospital lay only a couple of blocks on the other side, but we’d have to go through the airport. Thousands of people used JFK and after the planes were grounded, people had no place to go. They stayed at the airport and turned it into a fortress.
At least that’s how the story went.
Looking at the towers, still burning, it was hard to think anyone was still inside. Anyone living, that was.
“We are woefully unequipped to do this,” said Ben. He ruffled Billy’s hair absently. I thought he’d make a great dad but that no longer looked likely. Adopted uncle would have to do. What did that make me? I sucked at this. Maybe Sally was just a loner like me.
The girl left my side and wandered the line between the asphalt and the field. Her feet crunched noisily on the frozen grass.
“We gotta go in. It’s the shortest point and there might be food. Maybe even some friendlies.”
Sally found a stick and threw it. Flower chased it, tail wagging, and brought it back.
Ben pointed to the darkened buildings. “We both know the odds of that. It’s been more than six months.”
Sally threw the stick again and the dog yelped in excitement.
Billy said, “I’ll race ya, Flower,” and the two of them sprinted. The dog won. She looped away from the children, happy to keep her prize.
I rubbed my hands together and cupped them around my mouth. My breath was warm but the moisture froze on my lashes. “It ain’t any better out here. At least it’ll be warmer.”
Flower dropped the stick at my feet. I picked it up and was about to throw it. Bone. Looked human. I shrugged and threw it anyway. The dog bolted.
“Good point.”
We approached the nearest concourse but all the gates were closed and devoid of planes. It looked like a tree branch stripped of leaves by a storm.
As we walked to the next concourse, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. We all kept peering up into the windows, looking for signs of life. Nothing.
The first thing I noticed about Haley was her hair. She kept it up off her neck in an elastic, showing the definition of her face. It had only been a year and her girlish features were sculpted into womanhood.
She approached across the battlefield with a golf club resting on her shoulder and a sidearm strapped to her leg. I watched her easy gait and knew that whatever innocence remained had long since evaporated.
One of the things that hasn’t changed was the presence of the knife.
I ripped through the heap of luggage, desperate to change. I was soaked with blood, Sally’s blood, and I had to get it off. The coppery smell overpowered me. I wanted to vomit.
Hurry, Haley. Every suitcase I opened was full of ridiculously too big clothing. Bathing suits and short sets. The plane at this gate must have been headed south. Fuck. I finally rifled through a kids’ bag and found something that would fit.
I peeled off my clothes as fast as I could and stood stark naked in the middle of the waiting area. Ben and Eddie busied themselves pillaging other bags for food, but I didn’t care. I had to get these clothes off.
Wearing pink yoga pants, a denim skirt and yellow kicks, I was sure I looked ridiculous. The white tee with ‘I Heart NY’ completed the look. Without a bra, I was twenty looking twelve.
Ben came over with a stupid grin plastered on his face holding something behind his back.
I put one hand on a cocked hip. “Spit it out, bro. I know you wanna.”
He brought forward a worn brown leather jacket with metal studs and a Hello Kitty head painted on the back.
“It’s your size,” he said.
I snatched it out of his hand, gave him the finger and slipped it on. It was perfect.
I saw Ben across the parking lot and ran as fast as I could, tears streaking down my face. He picked me up in the massive bear-hug, so familiar from our childhood, and twirled me around. “I thought you were dead,” I said in his ear.
“Not yet,” said Ben.
Eddie sauntered behind me, taking his time, looking left and right of the S-Mart parking lot, scouting. Another sunny day in the apocalypse and we spent it chasing the great American Dream. Shopping.
Ben put me down and waved him over.
“What do we need, Eddie?” asked Ben.
“The usual,” he said.
I couldn’t resist showing off. “Guns and ammo, water and beef jerky.”
Eddie nodded grimly. “We’ll take the door together. Haley, you get the grub, and I’ll get the hardware.” He tapped Ben on the shoulder. “You okay with guarding the door?”
“It’s a big store, Eddie,” warned Ben. “
Eddie flashed a smile at me. “I didn’t realize you brother was such a pansy-ass, Haley.”
“An you’re not half the jackass she made you out to be either,” said Ben in retort.
I felt pleased that the two men remaining in my life could hold their own against each other.
“Now, boys. These fortifications won’t secure themselves.”
“Right,” said Ben. “Let’s get it done.”
The store was laid out strangely. Sporting goods on the far left and grocery at the right. Women’s apparel front and center. I found Ben’s post quite amusing.
“Be back here in ten minutes,” said Ben.
It took me a little while to find water. Most of it had already been pillaged. But I found a lone six-pack. Strangely, no one touched the jerky. Their loss. I loved this stuff. The store was dark in the corners, but I could tell that it had seen some action. Most things were off the shelves and blood was smeared on the linoleum.
I waved to Ben once I saw him and held up my score for him to see. He gave me a thumbs up.
To my horror, the door burst open and a group of fast-moving Zs charged Ben. He got off several rounds before they overwhelmed him.
More gunfire erupted and I hit the deck as bullets whizzed over my head. Eddie fired into the dog pile atop of Ben. I crawled on my hands and knees closer to where Ben lay. He was alert and looked at me. Eddie kept picking off our attackers as I dragged Ben over to the grocery side where I left my cache.
“Are you bit?” I asked.
“I??” I dunno,” Ben replied. He tried to sit up but blood started gushing out of his stomach. “Well, I guess that answers that.”
“Hold still, Bro or you’ll bleed out.” I grabbed the dress that ended up wrapped around his ankle and stuffed it into his stomach to stem some of the bleeding. It was a lost cause.
“Haley, I ain’t going to make it. You can’t let me turn.”
Eddie kept on firing a few feet away, backing into position closer to us. We were pinned down. There were too many of them.
Eddie and me huddled behind the deli counter. It was just me and him now, trapped in this shit-box. We were going to die here and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I had nothing left in the tank. So tired. Of all this crap.
“You gotta snap out of it, Haley,” hissed Eddie. “Don’t go all rag-doll on me.”
I just sat there with my legs spread in front of me. Everyone I cared about was dead or worse. Ben’s blood dripped from my hand on to the floor. I couldn’t save him.
“You can do this, Haley,” Ben had said. “You gotta.”
“I can’t, Ben. Not you.” I screamed at him, my brother, dying on the floor. He held my knife by the blade and pushed the handle into my hands.
“I beg you, Sis. Don’t let me turn.”
The growling mass grew louder as it approached. Ben as a Z or Ben as Z-food. Neither was top of my list. I took the knife with both hands and touched the point to Ben’s forehead. He closed his eyes.
“Do it, Haley. Hurry.”
I could see Ben’s body through the glass in the produce section. The Zs passed over him and sniffed the air. I must have smelled delicious. Maybe it was the maple ham. Smelled sour to me.
Eddie slapped me across the face. “Fuck, Haley. I need you.” He raised his hand to strike again.
I blocked his arm with mine. “Do that again and I’ll pike your balls and leave you for those bastard,” I said and got to my haunches.
“Welcome back,” said Eddie. “Just me and you. Old times.”
“I’m not feeling particularly nostalgic, Eddie.”
“Yeah, well, we make the best of things,” he said as he reloaded both his pistols.
“Happen to have an extra gun in your bag?” I pointed to Eddie’s satchel. “I have a score to settle.”
“That’s my girl.” He reached in his bag and pulled out a Glock and handed it to me with a couple clips. “Present for you.”
“I miss my knife,” I said and looked to see it still embedded in Ben’s brain. My eyes welled up again.
Eddie, in a rare empathetic moment, put his hands around mine, the one that held the gun. He raised my hand in front of me and let go.
“You can do this,” he said with an intensity that made me smile. I marveled at the heft of the weapon, feeling its steely coolness, knowing a simple purposeful twitch would bring it to life and end another. After all that happened, how much I’d changed, of course I could.
“Thank you, Eddie,” I said and truly was that. Thankful. “Think we’ll get out of this alive?”
“Probably not, but fuck it. I don’t want to die in a God damned S-Mart, do you?”
I smiled at him. “Nah, too tacky. What would the neighbors say?”
“You got neighbors? Sweet!”
“Let’s go, Eddie.”
And we did.
Let the history books show that the great S-Mart battle of Newark was epic and glorious. Actually, it was nothing of the sort. More monotonous and embarrassing. Eddie took the window side and I kept to the interior as we crept our way along the front aisle between the cash registers and the outside.
We had no strategy, just dumb-ass luck. The store was zombie-free. As long as we kept picking them off at the door, we’d be safe. Bullet by bullet, step by step, we inched our way forward. The zombies came and we took them out. Eddie on the left and me on the right.
At the point where we passed Ben’s body, I lost my nerve and lowered my gun. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to die right there.
I heard Ben’s voice speak to me in my head. “Live,” it said. I raised my gun and pulled the trigger.
My hands hurt from repeated firing and reloading. I kept switching from my left to my right and back again. It never seemed to bother Eddie. He kept firing and yelling at them. Nothing coherent or meaningful. Unless ‘die fucker’ meant more that I could come up with.
At some point I was yelling too. I must have been because my throat was raw and sore.
By the time the horde petered out and we rediscovered the outdoors, it was nearly dusk. We ran to the van, tossed everything in the back and Eddie floored it, not stopping until we hit the Interstate.
Eddie pulled over at a rest-stop clear of cars and we took stock. No water but seventeen bags of beef jerky. I saw scurvy in our future. We managed to hold on to the guns, but spent most of the ammo getting out of the store.
Oh, and Ben. We lost Ben. I couldn’t cry any more. Just numb.
“What now, Eddie?” I asked through a mouthful of meat leather. I was crazy hungry.
Eddie rotated his right arm and winced. “The plan is still the same.”
“I don’t want to go to Virginia,” I said.
“A little late for that now, Haley,” said Eddie. “We’re kinda committed.”
That struck me as funny.
“We were committed. Then we were free and now we want to be committed again. Not the most decisive pair, are we?” I shook my head, laughing at my little joke.
“Yeah, we’d have to be crazy to be this committed, right?”
“Nice one, Eddie.” It was good to laugh a little bit. I’d gotten use to Ben’s jokes. I’d never hear those again.
We sat in silence for a bit. Eddie closed his eyes and rested. I almost dozed off myself but woke up with a start when a Z started sniffing around the van. He hit the hood and yelled.
Eddie woke up and stretched. “That’s our cue. We gotta roll.”
He started the engine, gunned it and we mowed over the zombie. One down, three hundred million to go. The moon rose full as we made tracks.
“You think the CDC is still there?” I asked as we passed the Baltimore exits.
“They better be.”
We kept west of Washington and south before turning back east. The army kept the freeways clear when they had control. I can’t remember when we last saw another vehicle. We kept driving along the empty road. No cars and no people. Even though the moon was up, Eddie had to keep the lights on. Clouds of fog and then the moon was gone for good.
Once we left the freeway and headed into Annandale, the rain started in earnest.
At last, we came to the gates of the CDC. An array of lights illuminated the fence-line and several deuces lined the approach.
The first checkpoint guard asked Eddie for ID. He flashed him one he had stuffed in his pocket. I heard the guard radio ahead. “Package is on the way.” Great. I was a package.
The second and third checkpoints waved us forward. Eddie drove carefully. Neither one of us spoke. It was so strange to see so many normal humans in one spot. Unnerving. At last, the van stopped, Eddie put it into park and turned off the engine with a sputter and gasp.
He patted the dash. “Nick of time for old Bessie, here.”
I didn’t realize I’d been holding my breath and when I let it go, I felt dizzy.
“So, what now? The princess has arrived at the anointed hour.”
“We get out and head inside. Harris will be waiting.”
We got out and walked to the front door of the building. I let my hand slip into Eddie’s and he didn’t resist.
“It’s okay, Haley.” Yeah, right.
Two armed soldiers followed behind us. The security sergeant at the desk pointed.
“Elevator straight ahead. Level 7”
I looked at Eddie with a little alarm. “This building isn’t any more that two stories tall.”
“That’s right. We’re going down.” It was Eddie’s turn to play expert. How come I never was the expert. Surely, a maguffin like me had some role to play besides savior?
“Underground? Shit.” I hated basements. Always did. Blame it on Mother. She was good for everything else. Probably this too.
Our escorts didn’t follow us into the elevator. Eddie and I were left alone again. Classical music was piped in as we descended. Seemed a strange choice in priorities. I guess everyone had a different view of what was civilized. I’d have preferred to hear one of Jimmy’s tunes.
When the elevator doors opened, I was struck by how bright the lights was. It was so very different from the lights in the lab back at New York. So white. So sterile. Every surface.
A man in a black suit greeted us.
“Hello, Harris,” said Eddie. “Long time, no see.”
“Welcome back, Eddie.”
The two men shook hands. Eddie held it longer than would be expected and stared in the eyes of the other man in some unspoken warning. That bit of posturing finished, Harris turned to me and grinned far too widely than I expected his face capable.
“Welcome to the CDC, Haley. We’ve been waiting for you. Please come this way.”
I looked back at Eddie. “Stay with me.”
While the anteroom of this floor was white, sterile and strangely quiet, as soon as we rounded the corner, we were greeted by an intimidating steel door. The sign on the front said Biohazard Level Z - Observation Room. Harris swiped his security card and in we went.
We sat in round chairs that swiveled freely, affording us a broad view of the several glass windows around the space. The panes were darkened and I couldn’t see in. At the head of the room, an array of monitors displaying dozens of other rooms on the screen.
Harris pointed to the screen bank. “Those rooms are where our early test subjects are housed. As you can see, we haven’t had much success.”
Eddie and I walked closer and worked our way across the displays. Old zombies, new zombies, sick zombies, slow zombies and fast ones. The whole fam damily was represented.
“At first, we looked at weaponry.” Harris indicated some of the rooms with procedure tables, complete with straps. They reminded me of the fourth floor of my favorite hospital. “Turns out that it’s all about the brain. Severing nearly any other body part doesn’t kill them. Good news is that the disarticulated limb isn’t animated. No crawling hands.”
“Well, I guess Hollywood got it wrong,” I said. “We’ve seen that tho. Headshots or bust.”
“We tried starving them. By themselves, they just wither and go dormant. Months go by and they never expire. As soon as we add a food source, they perk back up. In groups, they fight and eat each other.” He pointed to a room soaked in red and black. “That so far is our biggest hope. That we can starve them to the point where they destroy themselves.”
“How realistic is that?” asked Eddie.
“Let’s just say, we’ll be long gone before that happens.”
“Fuck me,” said Eddie.
I pointed to what looked like a freezer. “What’s that about?”
Harris nodded and explained. “Zombies freeze solid at about -75 Celsius. The bastards keep coming despite the damage to their bodies. They age quicker and slow down. Some even become brittle and shatter. Same as the mummy tank ones.” He pointed to an orange room with scorch marks across the back wall. These guys dessicate and become brittle as well. Some even spontaneously combust.”
I was fascinated. One thousand and one ways to kill a Z. There’s a book in there somewhere. Or at least a bad joke.
“Okay,” Eddie said, “we get it. Frost ‘em, toast ‘em or pike their brain. They’re fragile.”
“And relentless,” I added. “Don’t forget relentless.”
Harris said, “And surprisingly good team players.” He looked at me. “Have you two noticed that? There’s no apparent intelligence, just stimulus-response stuff, but they cooperate on an instinct level.”
“Like dog packs?” I asked.
“More like insect colonies. Except without specialization and no queen.”
“Queen of the Zombies? How cool would that be?”
Harris pointed at the chairs for us to sit down. “Funny you should ask.”
Harris pressed a button on the laptop in front of him. The darkened glass cleared as the spaces behind it illuminated. There were two separate rooms, completely devoid of features and furnishings. Sterile and clean, like the rest of this place.
“We put this whole level together in less than a month. Once we realized what we were up against, the other facilities wouldn’t cut it. We’d be too slow. Whatever we did would mean some unpopular choices.”
I looked in the first room. A man, not much older than me, sat on the floor indian-style. His eyes were closed like he was sleeping. He was dressed in white scrubs. When he opened his eyes, it felt like he was staring back at me. I jumped in my chair and let out a small gasp.
“Don’t worry,” said Harris. “He can’t see us.”
“He looks like he’s preparing for something, almost like prayer,” said Eddie.
“Not too far off the mark. The subject knows his sacrifice is coming soon.”
It took a second for my mind to register. “Sacrifice? What are you talking about?”
“Watch,” said Harris and tapped another button. A door opened up the back corner of the cell and three Zs scurried in. The subject remained seated and spread his arms out. The zombies immediately tore into his arms and throat, fresh blood spurting on the floor and on the window. I’d never seen someone decapitated before. Zombies, yes??” I’d helped out quite often in that department. A human willingly doing this? What the fuck?
Then something strange. The subject didn’t turn Z. Instead the three dropped to the ground and smoke poured out of their eyes and mouth. The started to jelly and liquefy.
“This is crazy, Harris. Even for you,” said Eddie. He was behind me now, holding me up. I don’t know when I stood.
I turned to Harris. “So you’re saying that man in there was some sort of poison pill. That he knew he was going to die?”
“We estimate that a single sacrifice can take out almost fifty zombies in a swarm, twice that if they turn on each other. Once they ingest the poison, they themselves become poisonous. It’s limited though. Once they dissolve, the poison becomes inert.”
“I think you’ll have a hard time finding volunteers for this approach,” said Eddie.
“You’d be surprised,” replied Harris. “People are desperate. Death lotteries for a job like this have become common.”
I thought of what happened to Ambrose. How many people could have been saved by a single sacrifice or two?
The lights came on in the second chamber and two soldiers wheeled in a single chair that reminded me of my last trip to the dentist. We watched as they bolted it to the floor. Straps hung off the arms and the foot.
“What’s this getup for?” I asked?
Harris smile was dispassionate and professional. “You’re the star of this show, Haley.”
Eddie lunged forward and Harris ducked out of the way. “You son of a bitch. You said she was the answer. You said nothing about shit like this.”
Soldiers entered the room with their firearms trained on each of us. This wasn’t good. I stopped Eddie with my arm. “Hold up.” I turned to Harris again. “Tell me about my role here.”
I laid in the chair and couldn’t help but be frightened. The lights were too bright and they hurt my eyes.
“Not so tight, Eddie,” I said as I wriggled my wrists against the straps.
“I’m sorry. They have to be.” He loosened them a bit anyway.
“I know. It’s just too much.”
Eddie laid his hand on my shoulder. “You don’t have to do this, Haley. There is always another way.”
I bit my lower lip. “Not this time.”
The doctors were in the room with us. They’d been buzzing around like kids at Christmas. They injected me with something. I lost track of time. It felt like hours.
At least I got to shower in peace. It felt so good. I swear I lost ten pounds. I watched the dirty water pour off my body, black and rusty. I’d had my hair up in a braid so long, it’d started to dread.
At first, Harris wouldn’t let me take the time to brush it, but Eddie insisted. If I was going to die, I at least wanted to look pretty??” or at least not like an animal.
And now, here I was, cleaner than I’d been in months, strapped to a chair at the behest of the strangest theory. Could it really be that simple?
“You and Eddie are the only survivors from the lab in New York,” said Harris in the observation room. “We always wondered why that was.”
“Lucky, I guess,” I said. I couldn’t get the image of the decapitated guy out of my head. At least Harris turned out the lights.
“Luck is a matter of perspective”, said Eddie. “I’ve been luckier.”
Harris continued and looked directly at me, pointing his thumb at Eddie. “It’s more than that. Your friend here’s been infected. Yet, he walks and talks, despite his terrible disposition.”
“I’m too mean to die,” said Eddie and cracked a smile.
“Too much of an asshole to turn Z,” I retorted.
“Show her, Eddie.”
Eddie took off his shirt and turned his back to me. I put my fingers out to touch them. They shook as I traced the three long gashes.
“These from the common room fight?” I asked thoughtfully. I remember the melee. Eddie and me, we finished up back to back in the center of a heap of corpses. He hit me. I wasn’t right back then. Maybe I’m not now.
“Yeah,” he said. “Doesn’t hurt. Nerves are dead.”
Harris said, “The lacerations never healed. Just blackened scarring. It’s dead tissue, not infectious.”
“These fuckers kept me here for months running their tests.”
The drugs worked their way through my system. They’d keep me calm but alert. I felt my heartbeat slow. My speech slurred, but my mind was clear. For the first time in years, I felt centered. Where was this shit all my life?
“I’m sorry I left you, Eddie.” I felt guilty.
“Don’t be,” he said and fingered my hair behind my ears. Eddie always took care of me. “Make it count, kiddo.”
I sat alone in the room. No Harris and no doctors. No soldiers. No Eddie.
Aside from him, everyone I cared about was dead. I kept picturing Eunice and Jimmy. I thought they’d make it. We were a force to be reckoned with. And then there was Ben.
Tears tracked down my cheeks and I couldn’t wipe them away. I stared at the glass and stuck my tongue out at Harris. I couldn’t see him, but he could see me. I’ll have to ask Eddie about the look on his face.
If I get out, that is. Too much death. I felt tired and spent. Just one more test. I closed my eyes and waited.
The door behind me slid open. Harris figured it’d be better if I didn’t see them coming. We didn’t count on the sound. The scrapping of the door as it opened, the shuffling of feet and the wet gurgling growl of rot. Good times.
The first zombie that came in to my field of vision was a woman Mother’s age. He jaw hung broken and I watched it chatter against its hinge as she worked it. She came to me and sniffed.
Another Z, this time a man who looked like Ben but was dressed like Jimmy. A hipster with a crewcut. We don’t get to choose our fashion when we turn, I guess. Bimmy was missing an arm and leaked from the ribs. Black goo or something.
The meds did their trick. I wasn’t scared. I mean, I should have been, but I watched him approach with clinical study. A sniff and a touch. Not gentle but tentative, like I was a flame.
A third entered the room and came up behind me. She smelled of cloves and sour poultry. A little girl as she scurried in front on all fours like an animal. If I had to guess, she was about ten, just beginning to become woman. Outside of the bite mark on her neck, she looked pristine. Like an angel. She laid on the floor and curled up fetally.
One, two, three. Who can it be?
Zombies for you, Zombies for me.
Strange rhymes as I look at Angel in her slumber, Bimmy in his pacing and Mother. The older woman sat on the floor beside the little girl, not really aware of her presence. She fixed her eyes on me. What thoughts went through that rotted brain?
Zombies don’t sit and certainly don’t curl up like a child. What was going on?
Bimmy kept circling, sometimes touching me and sometimes just looking. He saw me, smelled me. I knew I was delicious, but I didn’t feel any danger.
It made me wonder. Was I ever in danger? I thought back to as many encounters as I could remember. I’d never been bitten. My blade always took its bite first. Was it really this simple? I wasn’t invisible to them; but in the heat of battle, did I have another choice?
This was Harris’ pet theory. All I could do was take the next step.
“Hello,” I said to my brethren. “Can you hear me?”
Bimmy stopped in front of me, and cocked his head to the side. Mother never turned away her gaze and Angel sat up, mirroring the older woman. They held this posture for a full minute, then resumed their previous state.
Fuck, wasn’t good ol’ Bim getting dizzy? Blink woman! Blink.
The bat did just that. She blinked, slowly one eye then the next.
Sit down, Bimmy.
I don’t know if he knew his name, my name for him, but he was the only one standing. Bimmy sat on the floor, rather awkwardly. I heard a bone break. It made me wince.
Come here, little one. My Angel.
The child zombie unfurled herself, stood and walked to my side. I smiled at her. She smiled back. It wasn’t a pretty smile. The girl had been dead for a bit and her left cheek sagged as the flesh loosened from her skull. My Angel’s teeth clicked in a twitching fashion as she mirrored my face.
Shhh. Go back to sleep.
Angel found her spot at the foot of my chair and curled up, more beloved dog at the feet of its master than child. Hey, I’ll take it.
Eddie’s voice came from speaker above, loud enough for me to hear, but not booming to rouse my subjects.
“What’s going on, Haley?” He was worried. “You okay?”
The air made my throat dry and I had to swallow a few times before I spoke.
“Perfectly.”
Harris’ disembodied voice next. “We’re watching, Haley. But we only get half the story. Report.”
I ordered my thoughts. What could I tell them?
“Obviously, they didn’t eat me. They knew I was there but didn’t feel compelled to chow down.”
“Feel?” asked Eddie.
“Okay, that’s a stretch. I tried verbal commands. It got their attention, but that was about all. No language skills. As expected.”
“As expected,” said Harris.
Eddie’s frustration ebbed into his voice. “We saw all that, Kiddo, but it got weird after that.”
“Bimmy was driving me crazy with all the pacing and the old woman just kept staring.”
“Bimmy?” Eddie found that funny. Can’t blame him. It kinda was.
“I gave them names. Don’t ask. It’s kinda freaky in here.”
“So what happened?” asked Harris.
“I thought to them. Blink. Sit. And they did.”
Poor Eddie was at his tolerance level. “What the fuck? You thought to them?”
“Is that why the child zombie came to you? Did you instruct her to do that?” asked Harris again.
“Yes.”
I don’t know why I didn’t mention the smile. I guess that was just for me. Something between us girls.
“Okay, we’re getting you out of there. Great work, Haley,” said Harris. “We’ll have a team in there to euthanize the infected.”
I panicked. “No. You can’t kill them.”
Eddie said, “They’re already dead, Haley.”
“You just can’t. I feel connected. There’s something more. I can’t explain.”
Harris came up with an idea. “Can you command them to stay put while I send in someone to retrieve you?”
“I believe I can.”
I extended my thoughts into the room. Sleep. The old woman, Mother, dropped her head at queer angle and sagged into a lean again the already dormant Angel. Bimmy slid from a seated position to flat on his back, arms and legs spread. On the smooth white floor, it looked like he’d wag his arms back and forth any moment to make a snow angel. Snow angel, my Angel.
The little girl’s smile sparked its afterimage in my mind. I couldn’t shake it. What did it mean? Just mimicry or was there some intelligence or emotional awareness? It really was like a lower order mammal. A dog or a cat. Well, not a cat. They’re jerks.
The working theory was that a Z was brain damaged, part of the reanimated dead thing. This felt more like devolution. Very strange.
My anxieties and fears worked to the surface as the drugs cleared my system. I held the focus of my thoughts. Sleep. As much for me as for them. If I lost control, there’d be no telling what would happen.
I heard the rear door slide open and I saw three red dots shine across the room at my sleeping posse, trained on the kill-zone sweet-spot in each of their heads.
“You promised,” I complained. Careful, Haley. Focus.
A doctor was at my side, loosening the straps. “They’ll only fire if they wake up. Right now, that’s on you.”
He helped me stand up and we retreated towards the door backwards. It wasn’t necessary, but I tiptoed. It struck me as funny to see the soldiers and doctors doing the same. All we needed was Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ music to make it complete.
I was the last to exit and the door was closed. The doctor disappeared and the soldiers escorted me back to the observation deck. The first thing I did was hug Eddie.
“It’s okay, Haley. You’re safe. You did good.”
“Thanks,” I said and let him go. I felt safe. As much as I loved Jimmy and Ben, it was only with Eddie that I could relax. Strange days.
“Come see this, Haley,” said Harris, pointing to the window.
I walked over cautiously and peered through the glass. My gruesome threesome remained asleep.
“I don’t get it,” I said. “I’m not focusing any thoughts on them. Why are they still this way?”
“You’re in an isolated room here, Haley. As are they,” he said. “Let’s try this.”
Harris pressed an intercom button and spoke, “Proceed.” I watched in fascination as the door opened to the white room below and a pair of small monkeys were released into the cell.
“Where’d you get the monkeys, Harris?” asked Eddie.
“We save them for special occasions. Normally, we use pigs. Either way, better them than us people.”
“I think they’d disagree,” I said.
“Just don’t set ‘em on fire. Whatever you do,” warned Eddie. As disgusted as I was, I had to agree.
The monkeys wandered about the room doing what monkeys do. They hopped on the chair and investigated their cellmates. Nothing happened. No carnage. No mayhem. On they slept, as if someone had thrown the off switch.
“Wake them up, Haley,” said Harris.
I blanched and shook my head. “I don’t want to.” I looked at Eddie. “I don’t want to.”
“You have to, Kiddo. It’s part of the deal. We have to know what you can do.”
“Wake them up,” repeated Harris.
I concentrated. “Team Z, Activate!” I said for effect. Hey, if I have to have a superpower, I might as well flaunt it.
Bimmy was awake first and grabbed the leg of the monkey sitting on him and ripped it out of its socket like a piece of chicken at a barbecue. The monkey howled and screamed as Bimmy tore into the neck. His buddy, Number 2, screamed and climbed to the highest point in the room, the top of the chair.
“Turn off the sound. Please, turn it off. Turn it off. Turn it off.” I pressed my hands to my ears even if I couldn’t tear my eyes away from what unfolded. Harris reached up and muted the speaker.
Mother and Angel plucked Number 2 off the chair with aplomb and began to eat him immediately. His body stopped wriggling and went limp as they consumed him. Bimmy kept Number 1 all to himself. Greedy fuck.
I focused my thoughts on Team Z below and they dropped their meal and formed a single line facing the mirrored glass. I turned to Harris.
“Satisfied, you sick fuck,” I said.
“Very much so.”
“Queen of the Mother Fucking Zombies, Haley,” said Eddie and raised a fist.
I bumped his fist with my own. Oh yeah, this changed everything.
“Did you see the look on Harris’ face,” said Eddie and laughed. “Priceless. That walking turd had that coming.” I don’t think I’d ever seen Eddie animated like this.
“Glad I could provide some amusement,” I said and smirked. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t fun to stick it to that blowhard.
We walked down the corridor to our quarters. My semi-permanent escorts followed. Given the stunt I pulled, it wasn’t the least bit surprising. If it wasn’t for my new found regal status, I’d probably be in a cell or zombie-food with Eddie right behind me.
The room we were allocated was small. Just a double bunk and a fold-up desk hung from the wall with chains. This was as close to privacy as it got in the CDC. Non-essential staff were in an off-site barracks. Every other place here was an observation room. This probably was too, but screw it.
“I call top bunk,” I sang and vaulted myself up. Amazing. I felt amazing.
“Whatever,” said Eddie. I just want to sleep. “You really showed them today, Kiddo.”
“Yes. Yes I did.”
I lay on the my bed with my hands behind my head and couldn’t sleep. My mind raced as it worked over and over what had happened. I could control the Zs, or at least some of them, anyway.
Harris called several of his doctors in and group hurled challenges at me to direct my three amigos. It was strange to have zombies, rotted flesh full of monkey blood, do maneuvers. I directed them to do tasks. Pick up a femur, a leg. Fasten a strap. Pick up sticks, Buckle my shoe. Handshakes and the hokey-pokey. We did it all. I played puppeteer. I played God.
I wouldn’t let them kill my crew. Mother, Bimmy and Angel were my court, the first subjects of the realm. I made Harris promise them their own cell. They earned it.
This bunk was too close to the ceiling and it made me feel claustrophobic. I touched the ceiling with the tips of my fingers and pressed. My shoulders hurt. The first lives of my Zs… what were they? What were their day jobs? I imagined Mother was a school teacher, like Eunice, except at the end of her career. An apple a day for the teach. Bimmy held the top-dog post of a Dotcom startup. Hipster until the very end. Angel, well, Angel was me.
Angel was that little girl with too many problems. She liked to play with dolls. Pull the heads off them just to see if they had any feelings. What did the dolls smile all the time? Why were they so perfect and me not. What was wrong with me that she didn’t love me? Me and Angel. Sisterhood of the walking ashtray.
Eddie kicked the bottom of my bunk. “Can’t sleep, Haley?”
“Can you?” I said and studied the ceiling for cracks. How far underground were we anyway?
“Nope.”
The ceiling stared back at me. “What do I do now, Eddie?” I asked.
“I have no idea. It’s your game now, Haley.”
The one thing we didn’t expect at JFK was live entertainment, but there he was.
“Good morning, Haley,” came a voice from the shadows of the building.
“Do I know you?” I asked.
Every time I see a cat I remember a gallon pickle jar. They deformed kittens were hideous to look at but I couldn’t help but have a soft spot for the smallest. He was the only one with fur but had no eyes.
One by one, Dad plucked a hairless kitten into the water-filled jar and screwed the lid on.
“Watch, son, and learn,” he said as he flipped the jar upside down. “This is mercy.”
I watched the kitten swim to the surface only to find top and bottom reversed. It’d swim to the top again, over and over again until it stopped moving.
One by one, I watched this merciful drama unfold.
“Where is the eyeless wonder, Eddie?”
I rarely remember any good times with my father, always bad things. Our mouser had kittens one day. They mewled and cried for their mother’s milk. She was dry and the kittens cried day and night.
Father made me gather them up in an apple basket and together we walked to the river, my little arms wrapped around my cargo.
It was the spring of the year and the water swift.
“Set the basket down here, Haley,”
Our house cat had kittens every year and every year, my mom and I would play nurse as she delivered.
The year after she died, I was left alone to deal with the birthing cat. My dad had to work late. He always did just like he always stopped by the bar for a few on his way home.
I loved my dad and it worked for us.
With towels spread out, I readied for the first kitten. I’d clean them up and have them ready for their mum.
The first baby came quietly. No meows. No screaming. It felt cold and looked blue. The second one arrived the same way. Still born.
I started to panic. “You can do this, Jimmy.”
We had too many cats in the barn. No one could argue with that. The toms continuously fought for mates. Finally, Dad had enough.
“Let’s go, Eunice,” he said as he grabbed the rifle from behind the door. “Time to solve problems.”
I walk along the freeway and my children follow. I am their Queen. My children follow me, each with a different story, a different life erased from memory. They follow me.
I hear the buzz of their thoughts, formless and obedient. They seek nothing but to serve. They follow their instinct. There is no intent and no agenda. The human pursuit can not be harbored her. It will not. My brethren only serve. I am royalty.
I succor them. I lead them into darkness, the darkness they crave to feel safe, to make the pain go away. I do this for them. I love them. All will come to me who need comfort. Who need to belong. Who need to feed.
Some crawl but most walk in their hobbling damaged way. Such torment but for some this can only be better? I am the great equalizer. There is no class in my nation. Gone are distinctions between rich and poor, old and young. We are all able, able to take that which is our birthright. A second and final birthright that is attained only through death.
Except for me. I am denied both death and life. I walk in limbo.
Their thoughts overwhelm me as I let them wash like an ocean tide. Shapeless devotion without love. Obedience amid the certainty of purpose. They follow me wherever I roam.
I raise my arms and they race past me, surrounding me. I am not afraid. These are my children. My army is Legion and I am not afraid. We take. We consume. We overtake. We subsume. None will suffer so long as they serve.
With a nod of my head, they lift me up and carry me forth and away from my burning city. I smell the gasoline and smile. My legion has done good. Oh, yes, so very good. I strike the match and they set this world to burn.
The screams of human children are beautiful in their perfection. I close my eyes and feel them suffocate and die, only to be reborn unto me. Joining me, I feel them. I feel them. My mind’s tendrils seek them out and embrace them. They are no longer frightened. They are no longer alone.
Welcome to the hive mind. Welcome to order from chaos. I will not lead you astray. Fight for me. Feed with me. Flesh and blood we are made. Beautiful rot and transformation. Reanimate power is mine to command. We claim our inheritance from the living.
Such is the majesty of death. No longer to suffer, only to serve. Drink from my cup my family. I give freely the blood sacrifice of millions. All you have to do is heed my call. Follow my lead. I will take care of you. I bring you strength. I free you from your fears. You are both hammer and anvil and we will strike, strike with certainty. None dare oppose us.
We are Zombie and I am Haley your Queen. All hail.